A scary thing happened on the way to the Movie Forums - Horrorcrammers

The Invasion is a very underwhelming version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It shows too much too fast, and the body snatchers are just too aggressive. The fake husband taunting the wife was very uncharacteristic, especially. It's a messy movie that ends on a very shallow, sanctimonious note just to try and shoehorn in a theme. Tighter directing and some rewriting could have done wonders here. Those moments of intensity, starting from the shuttle crash, that just keep a vibe from building up really ruin it.

Two recent movies tonight at movie night.


The Gorge is a solidly entertaining turn your brain off film. Honestly the romance parts are more entertaining than the action though it does have some nice gnarly creature designs to help things out. The reveal late in the film that I found a little disappointing but it's doesn't ultimately undermine the core fun of it. Not gonna lie having Anya Taylor-Joy as a goth/punk bad ass in the film certainly helped my enjoyment as well.


The Companion is a smart and deliciously funny black comedy. Good writing and chemistry between the actors really sell everything. Highly recommend for fans of Ready or Not and The Menu.

Hell Of The Living Dead is on Night Flight right now. This is adorable.

I'm watching Funeral Home (aka Cries in the Night) and I am quite enjoying it.

I feel like, generally speaking, the acting from the secondary characters is a real notch above what I associate with this kind of film.

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I really didn't think much of that film. Can't remember what my issues were but I remember I found it very underwhelming even for what it was. I'll see if I can find my writeup and check back in with you.

In some ways it's kind of low key, and I get that reading as underwhelming. But I really liked it. Just weird enough for me, and I really liked a lot of the supporting characters, like the boyfriend or the police officer.

Generally I am enjoying 976-EVIL (and it's a really different movie/plot than what I always imagined), but there is by far too much spider murder in this film!

Funeral Home has been sitting half finished in my shudder account for about four months.

Nosferatu (2024) -

Robert Eggers may be the director who excites me the most when I learn they have a new project in the works. This one maintains, but does not particularly increase my level of excitement. This of course does not mean there is nothing to complement. If it maintains anything from his other work, it's their visual splendor. From the vast to his vision of 19th century Germany to the intimate - even a simple shot of the vampire face to face with Ellen (Depp) is one I wish lasted longer - it approaches a Mario Bava level of every frame seeming like it deserves to be in a frame. Eggers' talent for directing performers has also not dulled, with Depp, Skarsgard and McBurney's fearless work as the, umm...touched Knock standing out. The MVP, though, is Dafoe, who has genuine "okay, everyone, I got this" energy as occult expert Professor Albin, thus making theirs one of my new favorite director/actor pairings. Also, like Eggers does in his other big budget project, The Northman, he manages to keep the atmosphere fantastical without leaving out an organic and tactile vibe. The decision to use real rats - and boy, are there a lot of them - exemplifies this, and is possibly the best instance of rat-wrangling since Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The attempt at mimicking Stoker's flowery dialogue also succeeds, and...oh, is it scary? Yes, definitely, and bloodiy so. No need to worry about that.

Despite its exemplary craft, having what I like about Eggers' other movies, etc. I would rank this third behind Herzog's and Murnau's takes on this story. What holds it back is that it ends up resembling a cover version of a classic song, or better yet, a dish that follows its recipe to a T, but without the secret sauce. Both the 1922 and 1979 versions have one, the former being a combination of its simplicity, elegance and Max Schrek's legendary work. Herzog's, on the other hand, besides Kinski, is his audacity to not follow the script if you know what I mean. Speaking of the elegance of Murnau's take, this one could use more of it, especially in the runtime department, which I blame on the exposition. As poetic as it sounds, there are times when I wondered about Eggers' and company's confidence in their viewers' attention spans. I still enjoyed the movie enough to want to see it again, believe it is a great movie as well as in Eggers' decision to continue his career by giving his take on a classic. I just wish it seemed more like a leap forward rather than marking time.

I just want to say Leslie Nielson's "Repossessed" did the central idea of Late Night With the Devil thirty years earlier, and while it might be the worst movie ever made, I still would give it half a star out of five better than that hack piece of shit.


Coathanger dogs put it over the edge.

Repossessed was on Comedy Central a lot in the '90s. I was like, "this can't be good, and why did they make a parody of The Exorcist 17 years after it came out," so I didn't finish watching it, but I caught this exchange before changing the channel:

"You're praying to a God you've never even seen before!"
"I don't need to see him, for the bible says that God created man in his own image."
"Oh yeah? Then how do you explain Pee Wee Herman?"

You've gotta admit: that's pretty funny.

I think about ten jokes land in this. But considering there is probably about 32,000 attempts this movie makes, that's a lot of bad jokes, and obvious jokes, and sort-of jokes, and barely jokes and wait-was-that-a-joke to get through in order to find a single decent one. And usually by that point you are so tired from groaning you can't even bother to laugh.


Some of the jokes are so bad though, that they actually become the highlight of the movie. You can kind of fall into awe at how desperate the guy who made this was to wring a laugh out of every single exchange in the film, and most of what he comes up with barely even makes sense. There were a few I just sat for awhile in stunned silence trying to figure out how their punchlines even worked. Some were uncrackable, complete mysteries, and I had just concede, whimpering.

I always remembered and quoted it as:
Gene Okerlund: Steroids aren't used in wrestling anymore.
Jesse Ventura: ...Or any less


That's the one misremembered joke that stuck in my memory all these decades. I think I watched it young enough I laughed at all the stupid jokes. Grade-schoolers are pretty dumb.

I mentioned it above, but a woman going into a closet to choose from a bunch of dogs hanging from coat hangers for one that matches her outfit, is a legitimately good gag. And there were a few more where I was like, some of this mess actually sticks.


But the sheer amount of bad ones is unrelenting.


I do remember my pleasure when I solved one particular joke at the beginning of the film: a couple in a car do not heed a road sign that reads "Do not reverse or risk tire damage", and as they pull out, a couple of tires fall from the sky on bounce harmlessly around their car. It took a few seconds but then I suddenly went "Aha, the tires falling from the sky sorta might have damaged their car, and that qualifies as....wait for it....tire damage".


I didn't laugh, but I was glad I was able to understand what the film was trying to communiate to me.

Out of the Dark---the 80s film---was very fun and ridiculous.

"I have her nipples now. They're filed away . . . under N . . . for 'No T*ts'."

"Turn myself in?! Do you know what they do to killer clowns?!"

Also, I love how nonchalant the woman in the first scene was about a man jumping out from the dark in a clown costume. She's genuinely like, "Weeee! Well this is fun!".

Hell Night is super charming so far.

See, Wooley, I was listening to your sales pitch for it!

Yeah, I think Hell Night is a new favorite. I'm such a sucker for movies where you really like a lot of the characters and it's not just one or two nice people and the rest are throwaways.

I also rewatched Dark Night of the Scarecrow after many years, and I'd forgotten just how good it is. Great characters, great setpieces, fantastic suspense and mystery, and a killer last two minutes.

You have absolutely made my day.

Someone pointed out recently that the best thing in the movie is that Linda Blair drops the Chekov's Gun in conversation with the pretty rich boy that unlike people from his side of the tracks, she works on cars in her family's garage. Which sounds like just filling out the character, which is nice.

It's not only a great character moment but it's a good script-device for a slasher and nice subversion of genre tropes.