Car accident

I have 2 suggestions for you - both 20 minute short documentaries. Neither of which have anything to do with cars. Quite the opposite. You may be in the mood for these or may hate them, just thought I'd try. The first is about inner peace, solitude, finding happiness in the most basic things in life:




The second is more downbeat and worrying. About climate change but equally fantastic:

Thank you (especially for the commiseration)! Yeah, I keep coming back to the fact it was a Tuesday which is a bit of a point I’m clearly mentally stuck on, but I still feel like it’s so ridiculous, stuff like that just doesn’t happen on a Tuesday.

I loved Titane, it was profoundly ****ed-up (just as I like ‘em…), much better than Raw, and I’m overdue a rewatch, so thanks for that. Funnily enough, I started writing the initial post pretty soon after it all happened (I guess this is my safe place), but then went back and forth about posting (ended up going to the Shoutbox first) and was just in complete and utter shock, but anyway, my first thought was Cronenberg’s Crash, and then my brain went, Might be best if I don’t mention that one, because, yeah, I’m not even going there. I’m still feeling profoundly weird, but not that weird. (I adore the film though so in that sense it’s perfectly apt).

I never was afraid of RTAs as such, but I always felt uncomfortable behind the wheel, hated driving lessons and just felt that the whole thing wasn’t for me; the expectation that the driver pays attention to everything at all times, looks everywhere and is just completely ****ing omniscient and omnipresent had always really bothered me, I have synesthesia, for crying out loud, I concentrate on the task at hand like a maniac and can forget to eat, but other than that, I’m overly sensitive to stimuli, and this need to do everything at the same time and not die is just too much. Besides, I can barely leave the house/work/function without headphones (I’ve never in my life driven in headphones, I’m not suicidal), and driving without music is even more stressful; I need it to tune things out which then in turn impacts safety.

Well, that was a rant, but it sort of sums up my state of mind.

Shockingly, this morning I drove to the garden centre a 12-minute walk away from my house (no, I don’t know why, either), and the world didn’t end, so I guess I can still drive.

But overall yes, I’m a mess. Yesterday when I was at work I had a lovely leisurely chat with my boss in the main conference room… looked around at the glass walls and saw 20 people politely waiting outside for us to finish… (it’s the biggest enormous meeting room) and just went back to my convo. He’s a lovely guy and I adore him so he just went, ‘Yup, I guess no one is kicking you out of a meeting room.’

So then I get up, we leave, pass the 20 people, he gestures at them and says, ‘Aren’t you in that meeting?’.

It’s fascinating and scary how all mental capacity just goes, poof.

Just take it one day at a time. You probably won't ever forget what happened, but it will get easier every day and you'll feel "normal" again soon. (It took me a while after my accident to stop slamming on a non-existent brake pedal on the floor of the passenger side of the car, (when someone else is driving), but I think everyone I know was glad when I stopped doing that. )

Damn man, really sorry to hear. One should definitely not dust off a “mild” car crash or any other “lesser” dramatic or traumatic experience… it can hit hard in many more ways than just physically and/or in the moment.

I hope each day is better for you and I wish you the best. Us at MoFo are here to keep you company the best we can. All the best!

That does…. Put things in perspective for me.

Fun fact: I haven’t told ANYONE in my family. Am I crazy?

I live alone.

I don't think so. But then, I am, so maybe not the best person to judge. Seriously though, it's taken years of therapy for me to even think that I might tell someone something like this or that they might want to know.

I actually regret telling my boss, feel I’ve jeopardised my career and will now be perceived as ‘messed up’.

I think a lot of people (I mean in the UK as that's where I live) feel this way and it's a fear which, I feel, becomes greater the more 'professional' the job/career. I don't know how justified this feeling is, but given the culture of this country, I'd guess it, at least, used to be very much the case. I'd hope the last 5 or 10 years have moved the needle somewhat in the right direction.

Just saw your post about having developed a cough, @AgrippinaX and it reminded me about another aspect of my sisters accident. No idea if there's any connection though it seems likely, but after her accident she developed these weird little wavy red lines on her scalp. They weren't painful and she went to the docs and he had nothing to add, but her hair became very difficult to curl afterwards and wouldn't hold any shape for long. I think this was the case for years. Never knew what it was, but it happened very soon after the accident. This cough could just be a coincidence, maybe you already caught a cold before the accident? But it might be worth just keeping in mind that, if this doesn't go soon, this might be something you have for a while which isn't an issue other than it happens? Especially if you've always had respritory issue(s).