Sleezy Recasts The Hobbit

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In the Beginning...

Over the holidays, I re-watched Peter Jackson's excellent The Lord of the Rings films, which I've seen countless times. That sparked a bit of a Tolkien kick, so I reluctantly tried to revisit the The Hobbit trilogy. It wasn't long, however, before the shortcomings of those films started to shine through. By all accounts, the production was a difficult one, laden with legal hurdles, lofty studio expectations, impossible deadlines, and emerging technologies that transformed a simple story into a bloated, overly designed mess—far removed from the magic of the original trilogy.

Still, over the past week I found myself imagining what might have been. What if Peter Jackson had made The Hobbit only a few years after completing The Lord of the Rings? What would the cast look like? What design changes might we have seen?

Over the next several days, I'll share my take. Enjoy!



In the Beginning...

Bilbo Baggins

Martin Freeman’s prickly performance as a younger Bilbo Baggins was adequate, but I feel a more versatile actor was needed—someone who could channel the mercurial depth that Ian Holm brought to the character: kindly and jovial, but also obstinate and quick to anger.

Enter Michael Sheen. In the mid-2000s, Sheen was probably best known for his work in the Underworld franchise. Yet, his multi-layered performances as Tony Blair (The Queen) and David Frost (Frost/Nixon) proved that he could explore a range of complex emotions in a leading role. Sheen is also known to be delightfully good-natured and hobbit-like off-screen, as interviews and later roles (Good Omens) have demonstrated.



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In the Beginning...

Thorin Oakenshield

Like Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage performed adequately in his role as Thorin Oakenshield, though it's difficult to cheer on such a dour and stuffy iteration of the character. For all his simmering rage, Thorin is supposed to be astute, likeable, and sympathetic. Armitage's take falls short of these qualities.

What the role really needed was warmth, a bit of charm, and star power. Russell Crowe has largely made his career playing surly curmudgeons that are easy to like, and in the mid-2000s he was easily one of the biggest names in Hollywood. Coupled with a more weathered and fatherly likeness (as in the novel), Crowe's performance would have showcased a deeper, more soulful side to the would-be dwarf king.



In the Beginning...



No surprise here. Ian McKellen and Hugo Weaving were brilliantly cast as Gandalf the Grey and Elrond, respectively, and turned in equally brilliant performances throughout the Lord of the Rings trilogy. They would have certainly reprised their roles for The Hobbit soon after the original trilogy ended, just as they did in 2012.



In the Beginning...

Beorn

Beorn is a relatively minor character in The Hobbit, but Tolkien paid extra care in describing him, his oversized home, and the uneasy respite he offers Thorin's Company. It's disappointing, then, that the filmmakers paired an outlandish design (poorly achieved and inaccurate) with a stiff, humorless portrayal of the character. No disrespect to Mikael Persbrandt, but the performance—like many in The Hobbit films—lacked any real sense of warmth or intelligence.

Brian Blessed was always the right choice for this role. His husky build and gruff voice, easily made to feel powerful or threatening, belies a tender personality and a warm smile. Beorn is more benefactor than beast: he loves the forest and the animals within. That same degree of inner softness, which Blessed brings in spades, would have enriched the character beyond his physical appearance alone. Also, the actor's bushy beard more than matches Tolkien's original description.



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We used to have some fun casting threads on Rotten Tomatoes. My favorite was recasting movies in other decades. I'll have to see if I can dig some up.
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In the Beginning...

Another easy reprisal. Andy Serkis is phenomenally talented, bringing a tragic and wholly believable quality to the impish Gollum in The Lord of the Rings. No doubt he would return to capture Gollum's brief but crucial scene in The Hobbit, just as he did years later.



In the Beginning...

The Elvenking

Frigid and distrustful, Thranduil (as he is named in The Lord of the Rings) embodies the dangerous and unsettling aura of his kingdom, Mirkwood. In this way, Lee Pace brought the goods, delivering an ominous and downright creepy portrayal of the character. At the time of his casting, however, Pace was 32 years old. If The Hobbit had been made soon after the original trilogy ended, he would have been even younger.

Although that's not inherently a problem given the long life of Tolkien's elves, the Lord of the Rings films established a bit of a tradition, presumably to help the audience follow the hierarchy: elder elves are played by older actors (Hugo Weaving, Cate Blanchett); younger elves are played by younger actors (Orlando Bloom, Liv Tyler). As such, Lee Pace might have been better suited to play Glorfindel, had the character appeared in those films.

Considering the Elvenking's unsettling demeanor, coupled with his ironclad rule over the forest, I'd cast Richard E. Grant. Roughly the same age as Hugo Weaving, Grant excels at portraying dangerous authoritarians—the performances aided significantly by his naturally sullen face and piercing blue eyes.



In the Beginning...
CGI TOM BOMBADIL LET'S GOOOOOOOO
Although Tom Bombadil doesn't appear in The Hobbit and was probably rightfully cut from The Lord of the Rings, I've always maintained that Jim Broadbent was the absolute bullseye casting choice.




Although Tom Bombadil doesn't appear in The Hobbit and was probably rightfully cut from The Lord of the Rings, I've always maintained that Jim Broadbent was the absolute bullseye casting choice.

You sure that's not Randy Quaid?



You sure that's not Randy Quaid?
LOL, what place would Randy Quaid have in Middle Earth?
I'm thinking he could have played Denethor, (a very tall) Grima Wormtongue or perhaps the "meat's back on our menu, boys" orc, preferably with Eddie Johnson's accent.



LOL, what place would Randy Quaid have in Middle Earth?
I'm thinking he could have played Denethor, (a very tall) Grima Wormtongue or perhaps the "meat's back on our menu, boys" orc, preferably with Eddie Johnson's accent.
I only asked because a couple times I mistook Jim Broadbent for Randy Quaid.

Back when I first saw Enchanted April (1991) I was asking myself why Randy "Cousin Eddie" Quaid was in a British drama... until he spoke and I realized his British accent was authentic because he was then (at that time) an actor I'd never heard of before named Jim Broadbent.