Kristin Stewart, Michael Cera and the top 5 lamest actors working today

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Going to the movies can be a discouraging affair. Every new cinematic offering is simply a half-assed regurgitation of tired old themes that have been covered more insightfully by filmakers a million times over. Studios are so devoid of ideas that they puke out horribly irrelevant re-makes, hoping to hit upon something new. Think about that logic for a second. Does anyone need to see a “reimagining” of “Footloose” or “Fame?” Jeez, I barely survived the originals!It’s a sad time to be a cinephile, I tell you. Everything being produced is just this absolute common denominator, one note, coma-inducing pablum. What’s worse is, these films are being populated by such uninspiring ciphers.

Huh? What? Who’s a cipher, you say?

Take a look: here’s a list of the five “One Note Wonders”, actors with a limited range who’ve been giving the same performances — and getting away with it — movie after movie, year after year:

5) Kristen Stewart
Stewart’s acting style is nothing more than a shoe-gaze-y collection of tweaky tics, starting with the lower lip jut/furrowed brow combo, accompanied by the jittery Vietnam vet shoulder scrunch and ending with an open mouthed sharp intake of air…which makes her appear remarkably like a suicidal trout eyeing land. Rather than actually developing her characters, each portrayal of hers is a mere rearrangement of these tourette’s like convulsions. When you add to all of this her often unkempt hair and permanently vacant expression, she really looks a lot more like an escaped mental patient than an up and coming starlet. Worse yet, she’s got such an actively unpleasant persona. Each role she takes is performed with such a peevish air, as if she’s colossally bored and unhappy for having been rousted from her onset trailer, where she’d been contentedly writing in her diary, listening to “The Jesus and Mary Chain,” and drinking case after case of Diet Dr. Pepper.





4) Will Ferrell
Aside from his genius performance in “Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy,” Will Ferrell has been the absolute definition of “‘One Note” in every other movie he’s been involved with to date. In the beginning, his shtick was funny enough, so much so that it hardly mattered he had all the dramatic range of a used tongue depressor, but lately he’s become pretty intolerable. Trying and failing miserably in more serious fare like “Stranger than Fiction” and “Melinda and Melinda,” Ferrell seems happy enough nowadays to just crank out absolute crud like “Step Brothers” and “Semi-Pro”. Sadly, he’s felt it necessary to take John C. Reilly with him down the rabbit hole. It is truly unfortunate as Reilly is actually a legitimately great actor, and slowly but surely his association with One-Note-Will is starting to take its toll.


3) Jennifer Aniston
Relying on the fading glory of her shag coif, and her tired template of comic facial expressions, Aniston’s work is hackneyed, uninspired and totally irrelevant. Each schlocky movie of hers is more irritating than the next. They all seem like sadistically extended throw-away episodes of “Friends.” I don’t know if it’s her Camille-like drawn out obsession over the break-up of her marriage with Brad, or just the fact that she has the emotional depth of a fig newton, but for her sake (and all of ours) she should have her SAG card confiscated, get a good therapist, and go on E-Harmony - pronto!

2) Michael Cera
Out of the glut of “sensitive, awkward types” plying their trade today, no one is more one-note than Michael Cera. His permanent deer in the headlights gaze and stutter-y Kermit the Frog on helium delivery was semi effective in the highly overrated “Arrested Development.” But, his subsequent turns in films like “Juno” (a masterpiece of pretension) and “Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist” have been as compelling as watching a plank of wood collect dust. As far as I’m concerned, actors like Jesse Eisenberg and Anton Yelchin have far more to offer if you’re looking to cast a movie about a young, neurotic, gawky loser. All Cera brings to the table are a pair of knobby knees and a voice that sounds like he’s been clopped in the nuts with a sack of oranges.


1) Ben Stiller
There used to be a time when Stiller was genuinely amusing. With films like “Flirting With Disaster” and “The Cable Guy,” he delivered major laughs with his unique brand of silliness, capturing perfectly the emotionally stunted, repressed rage of a generation. But after a barrage of tepid, inconsequential drek like “Envy,” “Along Came Polly,” ”The Heartbreak Kid,” “Duplex,” “Meet the Parents/Meet the Fockers,” “Dodgeball,” “Madagascar,” and “A Night at the Museum,”those days are long gone. When Adam Sandler and Jim Carey are surpassing you in the depth department, you know something’s amiss.

Still, I hold out hope for Ben. Unlike the others on this list, I believe he can turn it around. All it would take is a juicy part in a flick by Tarantino or Scorsese and he’d be back with a vengeance. Of course, it’s all up to him. He just seems so content to crank out the scatalogical, sophomoric, lazy drivel, that at this point it’s hard to imagine him actually putting in a decent performance.



I'm not gonna bother to take issue with every opinion I differ with (I think Ferrell was pretty damn good in Stranger Than Fiction, for example, and I find Stiller funny even in his bad movies), but I do feel the need to point out that Kristen Stewart's actually pretty decent. Watch Adventureland if you haven't -- she's clearly a bit more than the vapid teen she comes off as in Twilight.



I just watched Stewart in Speak and thought she did an excellent job... and I didn't mind her in Twilight. I think Ben Stiller is okay... or at least he doesn't grate on my nerves like Adam Sandler does. Jennifer Aniston, to me, should just stick to television. I had to look up Michael Cera because I had no idea who he was... which pretty much should tell you I'm not too impressed by him... and as for Will Ferrell... he's just not funny to me... period.
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What do you expect from Will Ferrell? He's a comedian and is supposed to make people laugh, not try for an Oscar nomination. You can get lucky with some comedians of course (Tom Hanks for example) but for the most part, you get what you see. I watch his movies because I want to laugh and have a good time, not to gain anything remotely educational or to make myself have to think. Watching "Step Brothers" or "Old School" on a saturday night with some friends is a good time had by all.

As far as Mike Cera goes, I agree he is a "one-note wonder", but he is good at it and if that's what the character calls for, he's your man. er, boy. or whatever.

The rest of your top 5 doesn't effect me in any way, so I guess your assessments on them are spot on. Especially Kristen Stewart. She is a total nub.
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I think Will Ferrell and M. Cera are amazing. Cera is one of those cases of people where you dont know whether or not they have range because he hasn't chosen to do anything outside of comedy. I love them both.
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I think Will Ferrell should be no.1 imo
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Totally agree with Cera, Jack Black could also be up there.



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I have to agree with Yoda, Will Ferrell was excellent in Stranger than Fiction

As for the others, I think the likes of Michael Cera are built for certain roles and though it can be a bit tedious for some, not to mention the likes of Vince Vaughn, Jack Black, Seth Rogen rarely change their styles and roles for me it's not a problem as I expect to see them in those roles

There are far worse out there, Shia Lebouf, Megan Fox, anyone involved in High School Musical, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Hilary Duff.

They should be hunted down with a bolt gun

But that's just me
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guys i think it doesn t fit kristin that she looks cute and can be sexy in dresses and heels but doesn t fit her at all when her manners and general body language which is totally boyish...so u agree its a shame really



You can't win an argument just by being right!
This mofo might not even be around any more but Jennifer Aniston? I never saw Friends but I certainly would not call her a lame actress.



This mofo might not even be around any more but Jennifer Aniston? I never saw Friends but I certainly would not call her a lame actress.
This one their only post.

But yeah, Aniston is just fine. She's really funny in Horrible Bosses, in particular. I've even heard she has some serious acting credibility in movies like Cake, for example (I've never watched it.)



You can't win an argument just by being right!
This one their only post.

But yeah, Aniston is just fine. She's really funny in Horrible Bosses, in particular. I've even heard she has some serious acting credibility in movies like Cake, for example (I've never watched it.)
I've liked her in every movie I've seen her in.



You can't win an argument just by being right!
I dont think I know who he is.

I dont like Kirsten whatshername but only saw her as the emo girlfriend of the emo stalker vampire who I also thought was pretty crap, but then I saw him in the movie about the circus with Christof Waltz and changed my mind. Water for Elep[hants.



Bright light. Bright light. Uh oh.
I like Michael Cera.
Hilarious as Wally (Marlon) Brando, even though I was a little disappointed he didn't say "I'll have to straighten you out."
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I have to agree with Yoda, Will Ferrell was excellent in Stranger than Fiction

But that's just me
Totally on board with those who loved Ferrell in Stranger than Fiction.[ he also impressed with a similar performance in something called Everything Must Go.



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Reading this then realised it's 8 years old. How does someone even find this ****.
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Kristen Stewart

She was very good in this movie.



Will Ferrell

Ugh. I mostly hate comedies.

Jennifer Aniston

I hated Friends. Bailed out of Cake. One of the most Over-rated movies ever.

Ben Stiller

A little goes a very long way.