Army of the Dead - Army of the Disappointed

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Army of the Dead

Here is a life lesson for anyone reading this. If it says this a Zack Snyder original movie, then it's not gonna be very good. If he has some sort of source material, then he usually makes a pretty damn good movie. His Dawn of the Dead remake was solid. Watchmen was good. I don't give a **** about your opinion and how it doesn't live up to the comic so shut the **** up. Justice League was long as hell but still really good. Man of Steel is flawed but still really good. Eat a bag of dicks if you don't love 300. Ask this man to make an original film on his own, and boy does he fail. Go ahead, try and sit through the garbage that is Sucker Punch; it's a massive pile of ****. This movie isn't on that level terrible, but it's also nowhere near as good as it should be.

The Bad

Broken Promise: The original trailer showed a lot of promise. A zombie/heist movie sounds dope. The addition of the zombies being much faster and a zombie tiger definitely set a tone that this would be over the top and bonkers. Instead, this movie is just more generic and bland. Zack adds new features and dynamics to the zombies but fails to capitalize on them. The quick-moving zombie that seems to be able to evade bullets doesn't feel special at all. The tiger looks cool, but it serves no real purpose at all. It was probably only added to make people freak the **** out about this movie on Twitter.

Boring: Wow, this is one hell of an unimaginative zombie movie. Sure there are some new additions to the zombies, but nothing really happens. There really isn't any memorable character that sticks out. With all the action scenes here, they are all pretty stale and generic. That's a big letdown for a Zack Snyder film because he is an extraordinaire at action scenes. Nothing about this movie stands out. For ****s sake, give us Batista, either Batista bombing some Zombies or dropping some spine busters on them. Give me something to make me give two ****s about this movie.

**** the Government: Of ****ing course, the government never learns their ****ing lesson. The ****ers started the zombie takeover and now want to create an army of zombies. Go **** yourselves. The positive thinking person I am (that may be the biggest joke I have ever told) would like to think that a complete failure like this would scrap any ideas of a zombie army. Which, by the way, sounds like a terrible idea.

Story: Sometimes less is more. The father-daughter storyline here just didn't work at all. In fact, Kate was nothing but annoying and useless twat through the whole movie. There was no real connection between the two characters, and it just dragged this movie down even more than it was already sinking. Just focus on the heist and dealing with the zombies. I also gave no ****s about anyone on this team whatsoever. Keep it simple casino owner wants his $200 million back and leave the useless government out of it.

The Good

The opening credits: The opening credits scene had more emotion and over-the-top action than the rest of the movie combined. The kills in this credit scene showed a solid glimpse of what could come in this movie. Between the Gears of Waresqe use of the chainsaw, the machine-gunning down a bunch of Zombies like in the fourth Rambo movie, or the dude getting torn apart in half and blood squirting everywhere, there was plenty to love in this opening credit. Sure it makes no sense why Batista was so emotional about saving some random lady and child, but what the **** do I know. Anyways the credit scenes does feature some sad moments in it. Whether it was the mom trying and failing to save her daughter or when they went through the whole effort to keep two people only to find out they were bitten and had to execute them.

Zombies: As he did in his Dawn of the Dead remake, Snyder adds a little spice to his zombies in this movie. The zombies here are a different breed of other zombies. There seems to be some sort of small sample of humans in them. They have a ritual that turns other zombies. They seem to communicate with one another. Zeus at least can dodge bullets (which should have been expanded upon more). Oh yeah, these zombies can have babies. That's right, folks; these zombies **** and can have kids. Watching zombies **** would be a far more interesting movie than this one. Keep your eyes open for the porn knockoff Army of Boners. Zeus shows more anger and emotional range than any other actor here. There was the zombie tiger that should have been way cooler than it was here. There was plenty of potential here with the zombies that they just never fully reached.

All in all, this movie is a bit of a disappointment. This is not his worst, but it's not his worst either. It's a middle-of-the-road zombie action movie. The action is fine, but it won't blow you away. Snyder definitely dropped the ball on this one. He made this way too ****ing long. A two and half hour long zombie movie is super unnecessary. There is a way way more superior zombie movies that accomplish what this movie tried. Go watch the Zombieland movies and Shaun of the Dead; you will undoubtedly have more fun over this bland movie. 6/10

Just watched Mark Kermode's review...
He's said it's just a remake of Aliens (1986) with every trope from every other zombie movie ever made.
Apparently at 2 and a half hours... they could technically have chopped to down to 60 minutes and released it as a one off episode of Tales From The Darkside, and got the same result.
Originally Posted by doubledenim
Garbage bag people fighting hippy love babies.

Bots gotta be bottin'

Welcome to the human race...
This wasn't good, but I'll still take it over the dull nerdbro smugness of the Zombieland movies any day of the week (as long as we're talking about movies that waste new zombie ideas, have weak characters, etc.)

Also it was my understanding that the lady who Bautista freaks out about at the end of the opening credits is a soldier he's partnered with (and who the credits seem to follow at least as much as him) so it's meant to be another instance of him losing someone to the zombies.

While I'm disagreeing, Sucker Punch is better than 300.
I really just want you all angry and confused the whole time.

Am I to understand the extended cut of Sucker Punch is in fact a DC from Snyder or just a longer version? The article I read the other day was a little confusing. I watched it when it came out on b/r but hadn't really grasped Snyder's style

Welcome to the human race...
It's my understanding that it's just an extended cut and not a proper director's cut.

Welcome to the human race...
No, it is not. Separate (and contained) zombie apocalypse, a new breed of "smart" zombie, etc.

No, it is not. Separate (and contained) zombie apocalypse, a new breed of "smart" zombie, etc.
Thanks. I've seen Dawn but it was a hundred years ago and I wasn't keen on having to rewatch it as a refresher.

The fact that zombies are still "cool" is the most depressing and sad thing about this movie.

It's been done. Stop beating the zombie horse to death, Hollywood. Take a hint and sever the brain stem.
"This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined." -Baruch Spinoza

This was kind of okay. There were several genuinely good/cool ideas, but this was definitely a missed opportunity. General thoughts:
  • "Zombie heist movie" is a great hook, but there really wasn't much to the "heist" part.
  • The zombies weren't really scary.
  • The lack of urgency from the characters was shocking. I know we can suspend some disbelief about timing, but the movie asked an awful lot from us in this regard. Characters say they have X minutes to do something and then spend tons of time standing around talking, over and over.
This felt very much like a rushed version of a great idea that never really nails any of the super promising concepts it tosses out there.

A system of cells interlinked
The fact that zombies are still "cool" is the most depressing and sad thing about this movie.

It's been done. Stop beating the zombie horse to death, Hollywood. Take a hint and sever the brain stem.
This is what Lisa and I said as we watched the trailer. Neither of us could summon even a modicum of excitement or interest for this film. Needless to say, we didn't watch it.
"Thereís absolutely no doubt you can be slightly better tomorrow than you are today." - JBP

I'm going to have to watch this again, I had no idea Tig Notaro, who was brought in to replace another actor after the filming was more or less complete, didn't act with any of the others in the cast except for a half day shoot with Ana de la Reguera, the rest of the time she was the only one on set acting!

I'd heard something about that so I was keeping an eye out for it, and at one point (the big "here's the plan" scene in the hanger with the whole crew) I rewound to show my wife a shot she was clearly composited into. They did a decent job of it but it's noticeable if you're specifically watching for it.

"""" Hulk Smashhhh."""
I absolutely loved this movie. I thought it was awesome. Sure, it’s has some problems, but I thought it was a very cool movie.
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"Banshee is the greatest thing ever. "

Maybe 2 out of 4 stars for effort.