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These are the worst films I've seen in 2021:
30. Don't Go in the Woods (D-)
Outside of a few moments of hilarity (the birdwatcher's reactions before he gets killed, the sheriff pulling his deputy off the pinball game), this would-be horror film is neither scary or good. Unless you like a high body count due to random idiots all choosing to camp at the same place a killer that looks like a cross between a homeless guy from New Orleans and Rupert Boneham, heed the advice and avoid.
29. She Goes to War (D+)
When her boyfriend cowardly decides he'd rather drink himself to sleep than fight in a war, his girlfriend goes in his place. The war scenes, particularly with the tanks, is suitably tense. But when the fighting slows, the film starts springing problems starting with a soldier who starts creating problems for her (who is dressed as a man, natch). The story behind this one being made is more interesting than the story on the screen.
28. And Now the Screaming Starts (C-)
The film improves a tick when Peter Cushing pops up on screen as a psychologist who tries to help the female protagonist (Stephanie Beachum) as she struggles to deal with some strange things in her husband's family mansion. The film itself is nothing special except for a brutal sequence in flashback and towards the beginning. Some tone issues and a general sedateness are the big issues here.
27. Final Exam (C-)
Much like #28, this film isn't bad per se. A sequence which features a "terrorist" attack is pretty bravura for a 1980s horror film. And a sequence where the nerd character gets into serial killers and how and why they do what they do reminds me of Randy from Scream. The big problems here are that too much of it is a thin clone of Halloween and just because they give the characters time to develop doesn't mean they're particularly interesting. Some nice commentary stuck in a below average film.
26. The Smiling Madame Beudet (C)
A couple of decent fantasy sequences aid an average silent film about a woman stuck in a marriage with a clod who likes to play with guns for laughs. Thanks to director Germaine Dumac, it does manage a feminist viewpoint throughout. But as the film proceeds, we get a sense the marriage is worse than we think which makes the ending not work in the way that was intended.
25. On the Way to School (C)
Average documentary about how several kids from around the world go through long, difficult treks to get to school. They talk about hopes and dreams and that's fine, I guess. The visuals of the locations are nicely filmed. But the dialogue feels staged at times and the lack of subtitles doesn't help matters any. It could have made for a solid 30 minute short, but at feature length, some of the appeal is lost.
24. Tanks a Million (C)
Middling war comedy about a by the book private who makes the life of a sergeant miserable. But it also allows him to climb ranks quickly and places him in some situations involving a motley crew of a platoon and a cranky colonel which places his career in jeopardy. Predictable, but a few decent laughs make it a passable film. PS: There's no tanks in the film itself.
23. Welcome to Pine Lake (C)
From CBS News, a documentary about a small Georgia town ran by women which has a problem with overaggressive policing and traffic stops that are pulling over African Americans. Some interesting moments particularly a disturbing account on how one resident was watched while on the beach is negated by a lack of solutions being floated by the government (and the one they do pick isn't shown on screen until towards the end). I wouldn't mind a spinoff documentary on the judge which combines tough love with genuine concern.
22. Mank (C)
Oscar nominee on the writer of Citizen Kane as he works on turning the script into shape while sobering up in a tight deadline. The film looks and sounds great (you get the sense of the old school Hollywood glamour such as the Hearst estate even as the film is trying to break it down). But a lack of drama, a flabby second half, and miscasting Gary Oldman as a man in his 30s and early 40s means that it feels more like Oscar-bait than a deserved Best Picture nominee. It's more like Meh-nk than it should have been.
21. Make a Wish (C+)
A talented boy singer helps his single mom who is a good singer in her own right with a romantic plot involving a British composer he's trying to help. In his way are a pair of fake composers and a man with his own eyes on his mother, but with plans of getting her to retire. It's predictable, but the music is fine and the film does hit the ending. Believe it or not, this was an Oscar nominee!
Tomorrow, I reveal films 20-11.