Top Ten Reasons I Won't See A Movie

Answers can copy others, were not all that different.

Heres my top ten reasons I wont see a movie.

10. John Cusacks in it

9. Keanu Reeves is in it

8. Terry Gilliam directed it (except Monty Python, any Monty Python gets a pass)

7. Its a musical

6. The lead actor is a rap star, or a teen pop star. Theres really no difference.

5. Its a sequel and I havent seen the first one

4. It was a Saturday Night Live skit.

3. Rob Schneider is in it

2. George Lucas directed it

1. It's too damn expensive for a movie ticket!

My top ten reasons I won't see a movie.

10. Sandra Bullock is in it.

9. Sandra Bullock considered being in it.

8. It looks like a Hunger Games clone.

7. Its a a comic book movie

6. The lead actor is a rap star, or a teen pop star.

5. Its a sequel and I didn't like the first.

4. It's a horror movie.

3. It's CGtastic!

2. It's aimed at the teen crowd.

1. Quentin Tarantino directed it.

Top ten reasons I will see a film.

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1. I'm dead.
2. I'm unconscious.
3. The power's out.
4. I'm in an ambulance.
5. There are kid's here, and this particular movie is inappropriate.
That's all I got for now.

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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page

No excuses, Mark F! You have to watch everything!

I don't discount any group but these are reasons I may not watch an individual movie-

10. I can't get a hold of it.

9. It's a slapstick comedy.

8. It's set in outer space.

7. It's a sequel to a movie I haven't seen.

6. It's very long.

5. It's a period piece.*

4. It's a children's movie.

3. It's a fantasy movie.

2. It's a musical.

1. It's rated something less than R.

1. It's directed by Cassavetes.
2. It's directed by the guy who directed Nashville.
3. It's directed by Kiarostami.
4. It's a cash grab sequel to a Pixar movie.
5. It's a live action remake of a Ghibli film:

My top ten reasons I wont see a movie:

10. The lead actor is a musician trying to break into acting.

9. Jessica Alba and or Christen Haydenson are in it.

8. George Clooney is in it.

7. It is a Happy Madison Production

6. It looks like pretentious Oscar bait

5. It is a sequel and I haven't seen the first one

4. It is a sequel to a REALLY bad movie.

3. It premiered on the Sy Fy Channel.

2. Written and or directed by Quentin Tarantino, Altman, Harmony Korine, or M Night Shymalan (post Lady in the Water)

1. It is a remake/reboot to a classic film or childhood property that never needed to be remade or rebooted

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Fear and Loathing in MoFo... The Gunslinger 45's Top 50 Favorite Films

In the 10 Ring: Gunslinger45's reviews

10. It's a Happy Madison production post Happy Gilmore.

9. It's a Nicholas Sparks adaptation.

8. Your trailer involves a something appearing in a mirror behind a character.

7. The plot involves a comedian playing some sort of authority figure. Most likely a cop but could be a politician or lawyer as well.

6. Stars someone more known for their music.

5. Great looking actor A is bound to fall in love with great looking actor B after finally figuring out great looking up and coming actor C is not quite right for them.

4. Your lead actor is better known for some sort of prank show that was on MTV.

3. The plot involves some sort of group competition where we already know the winner, including the winner of the sequel when the group is somehow the underdog again.

2. Your movie is premiering on the Disney Channel.

1. Movie is a loved by a member of the art house mafia.

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Letterboxd

I can only think of 7...

• I'm blind
• I'm deaf
• I'm sleeping
• I'm dead (although there could be movies in the netherworld you never know)
• I'm cryogenically frozen
• There is no movie to watch at the moment
• I just don't want to watch it

That would be among my top ten reasons to see a movie.

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I didn't see your yours before doing mine slinger, I swear.

You're sometimes cryogenically frozen while alive? Is that where you were for those four years you were banned from here?

- It's in black and white
- It's a silent film
- It was made before 1990
- I haven't heard of the main actor
- It's a foreign film

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I'm totally undiscerning when it comes to at least giving a movie a chance, but Rom-coms push my limits.
Also, this:

Add Shaquille O'Neal has no involvement in the film then this

- It looks stupid.

I think that covers everything.

Of course you didn't.

If it has a low score on Rotten Tomatoes or IMDB (Unless someone I know or follow recommended it)
If it is directed by a guy where I have seen one or two films of their's and didn't like it. (Ex. Wes Anderson, Fellini and Godard)

10. It's a musical, science fiction, fantasy, horror, or low brow comedy but is not animated
9. It is described as "touching," "heartwarming," or "uplifting" but is not animated
8. It is directed by Stanley Kubrick, David Lynch, George Lucas, Paul Thomas Anderson, Wes Anderson, Darren Arronofsky or any other director I dislike, unless there is a really good reason to watch it.
7. It has an all or mostly female cast.
6. It stars Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Robert Pattinson, Shia Labeouf (or however you spell it), Orlando Bloom, Marky Mark, or any other actor I dislike, unless there is a really good reason to watch it
5. It was recommended by Guaporense
4. It is loved by Camo, rauldc14 or seanc
3. It is more than three hours long
2. It's a direct to DVD release
1. I know in advance that it contains footage of actual animal abuse