Maybe I'm bitter

Okay, I've probably touched on this topic before, but I feel like I should explain my feelings.

I constantly see episodes of tv dramas, media outlets, and talk shows discussing the topic of body image. It's almost always the same thing, an at least moderately attractive girl bellyaching because she's not a cheerleader.

I'm probably just embittered from my own physical challenges, but can you blame me? When you hear an able-bodied person trying to play the victim for attention, and then be expected to feel sorry for them, would you not feel a little annoyed? Oh really, you feel fat? I can't feel my legs!

I'm sorry, I have absolutely no pity for someone who is obsessed with vanity, and wants sympathy for it.

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...uh the post is up there...

no you aren't bitter just a realist! this world is too much about apperances and fake is the way some people view the world. like paris hilton, its no wonder little girls grow up to be questioning their self worth. in today's world, a person is judged by what clothes they wear and etc. as a whole, i just wonder how the rest of the world views this country. i agree with you, entirely!! now here lies the real question: what do we do to solve this issue or we lost entirely?

Yeah, my point is that because they "feel bad about themselves," they are given attention, so the talkshows and media promote them to act as victims to get sympathy. Meanwhile, there are people out there with disabilities and various REAL life challenges that don't complain near as much.

I've gotta be 100% with you, so don't be offended.

You may be worse off than non-disabled folk, but i think that "average" or "non-good looking people" have as much of a right to complain as anyone else.

Yes they might not be as bad in a situation as you, but that doesnt mean they still don't have the same bad feelings about their bodys as you may have. What your saying is like saying that people don't have the right to be sad about things unless a certain amount of bad happens to them. What im saying is everyone can feel as sad as they want about anything regardless of how bad their situation is.


Honestly though, "everyone" in society is all like "we hate the media making everyone think that they have to look a certain way" but then once "everyone" is in the situation where they have the choice between sleeping with the obese women with the facial hair or the atractive skinny blonde women with big boobs, "everyone" would obviously forget about how much they hate the media's evil ways and have a great night with the blonde.

Again, don't take what i just said personaly (mainly the last paragraph).

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I never said only certain people have a right to feel a certain way, I was saying that if you are someone dealing with physical disabilities, which quite frankly is more life inhibiting, that it's difficult to feed someone sympathy for their own narcissistic insecurity about their features or weight.

I actually agree with your second statement, the media it's self has a continuity issue; one minute they run a story about how overweight people feel badly about themselves, then the next story is about overwhelming obesity. It's true we all want attractive mates, which is why they are concerned with their looks. What I'm saying is that at some point everyone needs to grow up and realize maybe they aren't a supermodel and get over it. I guess being crippled you're forced to just accept it.

Oh, sorry for the misunderstanding, i get what you mean.

As for the media, they do what you just mentioned all the time. I remember watching some a current afairs program or something and there was a story on how the modeling industry was bad as you must be skinny to be a model and then they went on about how it was alright to be overweight as it makes you normal. The program following that show was, The Biggest Loser.

When I saw the thread title I thought it said Maybe Im Biter, and I thought "biter?!" reminding me of the first girl I was ever with then I saw "bitter" and it made alot more sense.

Whenever I start stressing work or dwelling on lifes hypocrisy, and preposterousness I go too the news. Kids geting maimed, losing families, and other horrific stuff decided upon strangers to them of great intelligence, and influence. Then I STFU.

If you really want to get wound up watch MTV Cribs. LOL! Oh fack is that the most ridiculous reality show on stupidity I dont know what is! They just piss their money away in the most stupidly expensive way. Russell Simmons has a $250,000.00 marble toilet. A 1/4 of a million dollar john! Makes some 17 year old california girl wanting a boob job look like a genious.

Id love to tell you "Hey youre not bitter" but you are just a little. Stupidity is so damn abundant in life never feel youre behind the curve because of a wheelchair. Thats the way it is. Never with bitterness because that would spring from envy.....and lets just say its better to be you rather than a stupidass that can walk. A person can truly gain depth sometimes thru a handicap because overcoming such a completely monumental handicap takes wells of inner strength. Reevaluate yourself and look at things correctly because youre not some second rate human being. If you dont feel convinced watch The Jerry Springer Show then tell me youre lower on the food chain than them. Or watch the news and dare yourself to feel self-pity.

Basically youre allright. Now stop forgetting it, and laugh at those shallow dumbasses. Hope somewhere in all that babble this helped.

What irritates me, is that in the media as a whole, the card that's played is that men are the reason for women getting plastic surgery and they are victims. I don't see them any more a victim than a man who buys an overpriced car, or a motorcycle to attract women. The reason they get breast implants and liposuction isn't to attract a guy with a "nice personality," anymore then a man buys a motorcycle to attract a nice woman. Yet they are portrayed as victims, and not just as selfish, and narcissistic as men are.

Yeah, and I can tell you from first-hand experience, most women aren't any kinder than men. I have had several, when I was in school especially, make rather rude comments about my disabilities. So being made to feel like garbage isn't gender-specific. I've been with a few girls that weren't as cruel, so I'm not blaming an entire gender as the media likes to do.

If the media is causing your bitterness, unplug yourself. Experience the world without that filter for a while or forever.

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Louise Vale first woman to play Jane Eyre in the flickers.

BB's right, if you can, then turn it all off. My sister lives, in what she calls, "her bubble". She never watches the news or reads newspapers. She has no interest in what's happening outside of anything she likes or decides to take an interest in and she's happy that way and, let's face it, no worse of than those of us who follow what's going on in the world.

To give you some idea of just how total this is, she didn't know anything about the 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami until she went back to work... 7 days later! It had all passed her by and she had no idea what everyone at work was talking about. Was she any worse off for it? No, of course she wasn't.

That's pretty much what I do, HK. I don't read the paper, I don't read articles online (unless a headline happens to catch my eye, which is rare) and I don't watch the news.

I figure anything that is important will most likely be discussed by my coworkers or on the various messageboards I post on. It works for me.

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I agree. The news is far from a building experience.

On the other hand, some people complain some handicapped people are self-centered and manipulative. I've known some who were--my second wife, for example--but I also understand that to have any quality of life at all or even to survive, they have to learn how to get help or whatever else they need the best they can. I don't condemn them for it.

It's all part of the conflicting standards and images within our society. Back when Rubin and other artists were painting fat-ish Lords and Ladies, fat was beautiful because it showed you were so wealthy you got more than you needed to eat. Skinny was poor and ugly. Today society has convinced many females they need to look like Barbie and guys need to look like Ken. Thin is in in a nation that has more obese inhabitants than any other country on earth. Under those conditions, someone sounds silly complaining she or he is 5 lbs overweight. Who could tell? But it's an unhealthy mental obsession for some, just as crippling in some ways as polio. I mean, is there anything weirder than bust and butt implants???

All depends on whose ox is getting gored.

That gate swings both ways, friend. Look at all the attention Christopher Reeve got after his riding accident. Getting on the couch of the Tonight Show depends a lot less on whether you've got a story to tell than whether you've got a name that people recognize. Madonna gets an audience whether she's talking about music, writing about sex, adopting an orphan from overseas, or just has a bad hair day. Don't matter--people will tune her in no matter what. You and I could have the key to world peace, and the only way we'd get on TV is buy some ad time.

Pretty is what sells tickets. What do you think the proportion of ugly young male TV stars is to handsome young male TV stars? Ugly female stars are even fewer.

First of all, many people are manipulative and self-centered, the fact that you are trying to create a correlation between the disabled and those traits seems rather ignorant. I never said that all disabled people were morally, or emotionally superior to non-disabled.

Secondly, no I don't consider it a REAL disability, maybe it is a disability, but it's not to be compared to being quadropalegic, parapalegic, blind, or having a neurological dysfunction. What's more it is derived from being self-absorbed and vain, the very traits you claim that disabled people exhibit.

My point is that it seems that the amount of attention those people get seems ridiculous, considering the myriad of people out there with REAL physical, mental challenges. Most of these supposed "sufferes" are nothing more than people that just want sympathy, chances are they'd love to have a disability, as to garner more sympathy. I don't think they should be encouraged.

I'm not disagreeing with you, I agree, we're all attracted to attractive people. I'm sick of hearing; "the media makes me feel bad about myself and I can't take it!" Try being a cripple, and being reminded of your own limitations by just going to the store, or the park, or anywhere. Again, the issue of gender is brought up, hey, between James Van Der Beek, and Corky from Life Goes On, which would the "average-looking" girl, that feels fat, choose? You can't claim you are a victim of a staus quo, that you yourself are a part of.

Had you really read my post, which requires actually thinking about what I was saying instead of merely reacting to certain words that fit your own predjudice, you would have noticed I said "some people complain some handicapped people are self-centered and manipulative." You also would have noticed I went on to say, "I understand that to have any quality of life at all or even to survive, they have to learn how to get help or whatever else they need the best they can. I don't condemn them for it." That is one hell of a long way from what you passed off as some blanket condemnation of the handicapped.

Based on my own associations with and observations of handicapped people, including some months as a patient in a polio ward in my youth and more than 20 years of marriage to another polio victim who still wears braces on her legs, I know some of the handicapped have cheerier dispositions and overcome obstacles easier than others. Consider for instance the quadriplegic woman who just this week completed the circumnavigation of Britain alone in a small vessel. Her husband and children were waiting at the dock when she completed the last leg of her trip. The news account of her fete didn't include her feelings about people who have full or even partial use of their arms and upper bodies, but I suspect she was too busy steering her vessel by puffing through a straw to worry about her own or other's problems with self-image.

Way I see it, the distribution of the good and bad elements of this world is just one giant spin of the wheel of chance. The chips fall where they may, with no reguard of what's "right" or what's "fair." I once read somewhere that the chance of being born with beautiful symetrical features is exactly the same as the chance of being born with Downes (sp?) syndrome. Either way, to take part in the game of life you gotta play the cards you're dealt.

Filmfreak, I salute you for vocalizing your disdain for cry babies who moan and groan about being a little fat or something. In my personal opinion, though it may seem easier to have a sunny disposition about being handicapped, NOT EVERYONE is gonna be that way. I'm sure I wouldn't. I'm depressed and I have the nerve to call myself "Sexy Celebrity" on the internet and believe it in real life. I'm sure you'd love to change bodies with me and I'm sure I wouldn't with you. I honor you for keeping it real, which is why I'm gonna keep it real with you too.

But I don't know what else to say. What are you gonna do about the quacking of so called "ugly ducklings" wanting to be a little prettier? Slit their throats? Then you're handicapped and in prison for the rest of your life. That wouldn't be better. You can't turn off that noise in the world anymore than you can tell the birds to shut the f*** up every morning with their sing-songs.

Keep venting out your frustrations, though. I know I would.

I may have had a knee-jerk reaction to your statement, but I'm not disagreeing with you on the points you make, I think possibly you too are taking my points the wrong way.