A scary thing happened on the way to the Movie Forums - Horrorcrammers

Tools    





There is at least five or six movies in that Criterion line up I actually haven't seen. And a few I have wanted to rewatch for awhile.


So that's super exciting



Of the 14 they list at the end, I am not familiar with White of the Eye.
Of the others... I own all but a few of them.


I guess since people are hearting their cult classics here, I'll voice my enjoyment at Lair of the White Worm.


Looking forward to what else they show. (I think the only on that list I'm tepid on is The Funhouse).

ETA: looking at the vampires teaser, there's some interesting sounding ones in there I haven't seen, so I might spending more time in that collection this year.

I don't even remember White of the Eye being all that horrorish. But it's been awhile. Whatever it was, I remember it as being alright.


I think tepid is a fair word to describe Funhouse. But for genre fans, it probably is worth to watch. There are small pleasures in it. Much is those being its carnival atmosphere, its weird setup and, um, Elisabeth Berridge who was like my dream girl when I was 8 and obsessed with Amadeus



The trick is not minding
I quite like Funhouse once you get past the first 30 minutes.

Nice lineup for sure. I think I saw a Jean Rollin film with the vampire lineup.
Yet another reason to get Criterion this year.



I quite like Funhouse once you get past the first 30 minutes.

Nice lineup for sure. I think I saw a Jean Rollin film with the vampire lineup.
Yet another reason to get Criterion this year.
Yup, The Living Dead Girl. I bought that off of Kino earlier this year, so it's going to be part of my Jess Franco/Jean Rollin binge-fest I'm doing this October.
__________________
Saved for personal reference (to see how wrong I was): top 100 comedy countdown - my predictions for my ballot after #41 (Borat) on the list had been revealed





Tammy and the T-Rex, 1994

Tammy (Denise Richards) is a high school girl tentatively dating Michael (Paul Walker). It's tentative because Tammy's deranged ex-boyfriend, Billy (George Pilgrim) is dangerously possessive of her. Sure enough, Billy and his crew go after Michael, landing Michael in the hospital. From there, Michael is abducted by mad scientist Dr. Wachenstein (Terry Kiser) and his sidekick Helga (Ellen Dubin), who link Michael's brain to the body of a t-rex. Tammy must work with her best friend, Byron (Theo Forsett) to defeat the baddies and save her beau.

I mean just absolutely 100% yes.

Movies that are thrown together often suffer from trying to be serious and falling flat or lampshading their low budgets and ending up with something that makes you ask, "So . . . is this supposed to be bad-funny?".

What's great about Tammy and the T-Rex is that it's goofy and stupid in a way that is so utterly, borderline wholesome that I had a huge grin on my face from credits to credits.

Really, this is the Richards/Forsett show, and the two make an incredibly endearing comic pair. In one sequence, they go "shopping" at a morgue for a new body for Michael, working together to hold various corpses up to the window so that Michael can give them the t-rex equivalent of a thumbs up or a thumbs down.

And now I'm going to say something about a movie that is called Tammy and the T-Rex: I liked some of the character work! Honestly, while the whole movie is very goofy, Tammy being afraid to date because of what Billy might do to her new boyfriend feels really on point. I also liked the touch that Byron is the son of the local sheriff (J. Jay Saunders). Byron's father is surprisingly accepting of his son, though he must constantly endure working with two local goobers called Neville (Ken Carpenter) and Norville (George 'Buck' Flower).

The effects here are very charming. Blood erupts out of squished heads, very fake intestines are ripped out of very fake looking abdomens. In the aftermath of a t-rex rampage, Helga lifts the paper-flat remains of one of their henchmen as if it weighs nothing more than a few pounds.

Everyone in this film absolutely understood the assignment. Highly recommended for Richards wearing a crushed red velvet gown to her boyfriend's funeral and a man threatening a t-rex with karate.






Siege, 1983

While the police in Halifax are on strike, a group of men enters a gay bar called The Crypt and terrorizes the patrons. While attacking the bar's owner, the man is killed, and the gang realizes they could go down for murder. In a panic they call their leader, Cabe (Doug Lennox), who shows up and simply executes all of the patrons. But one man, Daniel (Terry-David Després) manages to escape, eventually winding up in the apartment of Horatio (Tom Nardini) and Barbara (Brenda Bazinet). When Horatio and Barbara refuse to hand Daniel over, the gang cuts the phone lines and lays siege to the apartment building.

Another film I'd never even heard of (and with fewer than 1000 votes on IMDb, it seems I'm not alone here), but one that I quite enjoyed.

For the most part, the protagonists are very easy to like and root for (with one glaring exception). In addition to Horatio, there's a friend of the couple named Patrick (Jack Blum) and also an incredibly resourceful neighbor named Chester (Daryl Haney). They work together to track the men who are invading the building, improvising weapons and setting traps. The exception is Barbara, who is absolutely the worst for much of the run time. She's a pretty grating character, doing a lot of whining and making really dumb decisions, such as deciding to leave the building even though the violent gang is literally right outside.

There are also some pretty neat visuals here. As a fan of Candyman, I absolutely loved that a key plot point involved bathroom mirror cabinets that connected adjacent apartments. There are also some good point of view shots, such as a sequence where the gang gets Barbara in their sights as she plans to leave the apartment building. We watch as, from their perspective, she drifts in and out of the frame of the front door.

It should be said that there are a lot of improbabilities to look past. The friend group is awfully adept at improvising very effective weapons. Guns with silencers are portrayed as being quite literally silent. And a blind man using a drinking glass against a wall is able to give very details accounts of the conversations happening on the other side. There are also a lot of poor choices.

That said, I was along for the ride. The sequence in the gay bar at the beginning really sets the tone and from there it's home-invasion type thrills all the way. I wish that the film hadn't sidelined Daniel quite so much after he gets to the apartment. The very specific homophobia that begins the movie soon abstracts into "kill all witnesses". I appreciate the movie being sympathetic to the way that queer people have been terrorized, even in their own niche spaces, but the movie can't help but default to putting a straight couple at the center of the story.

I also liked the very end of the film. It's ominous and dark, and includes a character detail that I did not anticipate but maybe should have. Put this one on your radar.




So I didn't think The Toolbox Murders was as terrible as advertised. Not great, mind you, but I've seen worse. Kind of a weird structure, with all of the killing and boobage frontloaded in the first 20 minutes.

But honestly I was more disturbed by Pamelyn Ferdin's dilemma than the murders and nudity. When I was a kid she was in literally every TV show there was, so watching her as a sort-of grownup in peril made me feel icky. Throw in Wesley "Land of the Lost" Eure, and my childhood was being assaulted from multiple directions. It was a rough night.

So yeah, ultimately inconsequential but I didn't hate it.
__________________
Captain's Log
My Collection




Glorious, 2022

Wes (Ryan Kwanten) is stopped at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere, clearly reeling from the end of a relationship. After battling a vending machine and leaving numerous regretful voice messages, Wes ends up in the bathroom where, you know, an ancient world-ending god, Ghat (the voice of JK Simmons) is holed up in a stall. You see, in order to save the world, Ghat needs something very special from Wes . . .

This film has a great, insane premise and I regret to report that it runs out of steam after about 50 of its 79 minutes.

Kwanten and Simmons lean into their roles and do a good job of elevating a pretty uneven script. There are some fun, physics bending sequences of Wes trying to escape the bathroom, and some funny banter between the two of them. There's also something nicely melancholy about Ghat's request---that he be hidden away from the world so that he cannot do harm--that gives the film an emotional anchor that's not quite present in Wes's story of heartbreak.

Unfortunately, some of the humor just falls a bit short. There's a running joke that Wes believes he needs to sexually service Ghat as part of the deal. I mean, ha? And how do I even describe my reaction to the fact that I'd thought Wes was so squeamish because he'd be on the receiving end, but actually he thought he was supposed to be the top in the situation. Like, I'm sorry, you were going to let the world end because you didn't want to receive oral sex? I assure you that if you watch the film, I think you'll understand why this dynamic felt kind of off and not as funny (or grounded) as it's meant to. I know that in theory it's supposed to be part of the horror aspect, but it can't help but feel kind of childishly homophobic.

Then there are some character and plot elements that are saved to the very end, and I was kind of underwhelmed. I always find it frustrating when a film is clearly holding something back and then when they go TA DA you're like, "That's it?!".

Not bad, per se, but just kind of middling and nowhere as deliriously over the top or funny as the excellent premise would lead you to believe.

I definitely agree that some of the humor falls a bit flat but I actually rather liked the plot element added late and thought it gave a pretty interesting twist on the dynamic between Wes and Ghat.



Oh. Yeah. Siege


I saw that some years back at an exploitation film fest.
I think it was described as a Canadian version of, Assault on Precinct 13, which makes the character fleeing the murderous gang becoming sidelined, plot-wise, less surprising, because that happened in there as well.
I remember it being a solid, little movie.



Victim of The Night
Tonight I'm ignoring multiple warnings and watching The Toolbox Murders (1978).
See you on the flip side.
I also did this recently.



Victim of The Night
I quite like Funhouse once you get past the first 30 minutes.
I even like the first 30 minutes. Love the mood and atmosphere that Hooper creates. I think, in my last write-up of it, I talked about the atmosphere being my favorite part of the movie.



Victim of The Night
That's an odd, rhetorical question.
Yes, obviously.
Heh, I was just playin'. I quit keeping physical media other than vinyl records several years ago so, to me and only to me, searching for a Blu-ray of a very obscure, so-so Horror film is strange.



Victim of The Night
So I didn't think The Toolbox Murders was as terrible as advertised. Not great, mind you, but I've seen worse. Kind of a weird structure, with all of the killing and boobage frontloaded in the first 20 minutes.

But honestly I was more disturbed by Pamelyn Ferdin's dilemma than the murders and nudity. When I was a kid she was in literally every TV show there was, so watching her as a sort-of grownup in peril made me feel icky. Throw in Wesley "Land of the Lost" Eure, and my childhood was being assaulted from multiple directions. It was a rough night.

So yeah, ultimately inconsequential but I didn't hate it.
Wow, somehow I didn't realize that was her. Now that you mention it it's obvious.



Is Siege on Tubi now? Nice. I might not watch it until November (I like to keep October strictly spooky and have a bunch of stuff planned already) but good to know it’s available.



Is Siege on Tubi now? Nice. I might not watch it until November (I like to keep October strictly spooky and have a bunch of stuff planned already) but good to know it’s available.
I watched it on Shudder.



Already kicked off my horror binge last week by trying to watch as many new releases as possible before shifting to more “important” choices during the actual month.

What Josiah Saw- 4/5 (might actually go a bit higher
Let the Wrong One In- 3/5
The Cursed- 4/5 (5/5 for the first 30 mins)
You Are Not My Mother- 3/5
Hatching- 3.5/5
Speak No Evil- 4/5
Room 203- 2.5/5
House of Darkness- 3.5/5
We’re All Going to the World’s Fair- 2.5/5
The Munsters- 2.5/5