Been thinking about the topic but in a more personal sense. Talked to friends and one agreed with me while others disagreed.
I generally frown upon most people's approach to relationships, and I think that the lack of pure romanticism or a very impure approach to all things love might be due to no exposition to art in general. No sense of aesthetic is another issue I'd attribute to ignorance of art because it's art that develops our sensitivity.
Sure, you can call me a sentimental sap, but I have a very traditional outlook on love and relationships, and what's really disheartening to me is that not many people seem to share my opinions in this field.
I'm really surprised so many people are looking for sex and so few for love. Sure, most of them would tell you that their looking for sex is by extension also looking for love, but I have a hard time swallowing that. If you're looking for the love of your life, what are the chances it will be that half-dead drunken guy who's groping your ass at the party? The girl you just met and asked over to a hotel room - sure, this must be the love of your life. Well, it's pretty obvious you're looking for sex. For fun. Not love. The "first have fun, there will be time for love later" mindset so prevalent amongst the youth kicks in.
I take no issue with promiscuity among other people I don't know, but this lifestyle is so alien to my own, I can't help but run away from any potential date that gives off even a hint of such practices. I can't wrap my head around the sheer desire for pure sex. One without love, just based on desire. Nowadays you have so much porn, erotic stories, etc. that there is simply no need for sex with people you don't love. You can explore your sexuality without the need of meeting anybody. You can save yourself for somebody you love, and if it doesn't work out later, it's not a big deal. If you're not a virgin, it's not a big deal. But if you're really promiscuous, what's the actual value of you having sex with somebody? Of you giving yourself to somebody? If you did it before, say, a hundred times, there is no real sacrifice there. It's like saying: "Oh hi, you're my 101st sexual partner. Not a big deal, I'll probably forget you tomorrow on my way to the 102nd one". As long as I believe a person like that is capable of love (not very likely, but still), and maybe the 101st partner will be one's last and to till death do us part, there is one thing missing. You don't feel special with that partner. Maybe that's narcissistic or egotistical to think that way, but there you go. I don't need to feel special, but I need to feel understood and respected. It's obvious it's better for me when I hear a girl say "I never really dated anybody, but after some time I thought you're a good person, I dated you and I was right", than something like "Oh, it's not a big deal. I date every guy who asks me. Everybody gets a chance.".
The problem here, I think, is that people not always date to potentially form a relationship. They think with their sexual organs rather than their hearts or at least their brains (admittedly, the last one is the best thing to do). They just want one-night-stands and casual sexual intercourses, and that's fine as long as they make it clear from the very beginning this is the only thing they're after. But the default should be a loving relationship.
So, of course, I'm weirded out when I hear a girl imply she's considering dating more than one guy at the same time. This to me shows her disrespect for every single guy she's dating as if none of them was good enough to date just him. And that's if you forget about all the potential problems that can arise from dating more than one person at a time. But the thing is, she doesn't think there's anything wrong with it. She can't understand what's the problem here.
I'd rather skip the part about inviting her over, because apparently nowadays (or was it always) it means I want to have sex with her, and she will be greatly disappointed and basically would break the deal if I don't cling to her. I don't care. I really don't care anymore. Why do girls think that if I don't at least kiss her as early as possible, it means I don't care? Maybe I just need more time, maybe I want to get to know her more. A kiss is more important to me than sex to some people. I don't kiss just anybody, or rather, when I kiss somebody, that's already meaningful. It's been like that. I don't want to change that. In the era of Tinder and friends advising "don't take it too seriously", I feel lost in my dead-serious approach to dating and relationships. It seems that people value transitory fun more than sincerity, respect, and care.
Polyamory is another concept I can't quite grasp. Once again, that's okay if it works for you, and everybody involved is comfortable with it, but as far as I can understand you can still love e.g. your wife who died in a car accident or your ex-boyfriend, I can't for the love of me get it how can you love two people at once, at the same time, that is to willingly date or have sex with both. But yeah, that's just me, I guess.
Sorry about the rant, guys. I'm just really curious. Am I so different? Am I really not in tune with modern times?
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Look, I'm not judging you - after all, I'm posting here myself, but maybe, just maybe, if you spent less time here and more time watching films, maybe, and I stress, maybe your taste would be of some value. Just a thought, ya know.