John's Reviews

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Could you point out the mistakes for me? Thanks for the comments too.
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"This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined." -Baruch Spinoza



Originally Posted by John McClane
Could you point out the mistakes for me? Thanks for the comments too.
There were a few spelling or punctuation mistakes, e.g. miners' should be miner's

Some of the sentences could have be edited a bit, e.g. the first two sentences could have been made into one and used "the four boys" only once. e.g., This movie is based on a true story of four boys, Quentin, Ray Lee, O'Dell and Homer Hickman Jr, known as the "Rocket Boys".

That's a start, I am not a writer, the others will be-able to help more than me.
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Opps I just saw that. I meant to do that with the first two sentences. Thanks. Hey I'm not a writer either, but it was good.



You might want to mention the cast and their performance.
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Let us go, Through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster shells


From The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S.Eliot



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I was planning on doing that but I thought it would take up on the beginning of the review. I'm going to do it from now on though along with the director, producers, and the release date.



this is a good review of an excellent movie, but it could use a little fixing up...

there are punctuation mistakes and run on sentences i can help you with this if you want although i am an amateur writer..i do write stories and fanfiction..just let me know



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Originally Posted by jrs
Not bad for your first interview. You shouldn't really have a "mini" scene by scene of the movie in your review. That took up like 75% of it.
What do you mean? I'm lost. By the way my next review will be Hollywood Homicide. I'm hoping it will be a bit better.



This is quite a transformation from your earlier attempt, John. I commend you for your enthusiasm and dedication for improvement. I know that it must have been a bit of hard work to completely revamp your writing style and come up with something that is easily ten times better than what you have done before. Congratulations on your very valiant attempt.

With that said, I would recommend that you print a copy of your review for your English teacher to proofread. I’m sure that if you were to show the same level of desire to your teacher, that he or she would be more than willing to help you with your grammar, punctuation, and composition. You do have some misspellings and poor choices of punctuation in your review, but most of us here at MoFo have varying degrees of difficulty with that very issue. We might not be the best choice to help you with that.

Another point is what jrs mentioned. With the exception of your final four paragraphs, your review is one large play by play of the film. Hell, I personally have that problem from time to time. Yet, in reality, writing a review like that is taking the easy way out. It ceases to be a review and instead becomes a narrative for the film’s plot. In order to make a true review that belongs solely to you, you need to find your voice. What I mean by that is this; you need to find a way to express your feelings about the different elements of a film. How did the acting rate? Was the story complex, believable, emotional, or flippant? How were the visuals, e.g. the cinematography or special effects? Was the music used to its best ability, or did it not fit the theme of the story? When you figure these things out, write about them. Try not to fall into the trap of giving away the entire story, people like to be surprised and don’t want to know everything that happens in the film. So you need to write about the other elements I described to you. Then polish it off with a bit of you. “This film is important/fun/terrible because ________” Does any of this make sense?

Just remember, we are all amateur writers here. Some are exceptionally talented like Holden Pike, The Silver Bullet, and Yoda, while others of us have our own strengths and weaknesses. We all want to write better than we do. We all find fault with our work. We all love it when people take the time to read it and say ‘good job’.

Good job, John.
__________________
"Today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."



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Thanks so much guys!! Including you LordSlaytan! I really needed all of what ya'll said. By the way good idea on the Englis teacher thing. I would give it to him but he's a little bit mean. Hell he's a lot mean. Anyway thanks for all the support. I'm going to brush up big time from now on. I hope my next review meets the standards ya'll have set up.



Originally Posted by John McClane
I hope my next review meets the standards ya'll have set up.
There are no standards to meet, just do your best. There is also kindness in the world, John Boy.



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Originally Posted by susan
this is a good review of an excellent movie, but it could use a little fixing up...

there are punctuation mistakes and run on sentences i can help you with this if you want although i am an amateur writer..i do write stories and fanfiction..just let me know
Thanks for the comment! I also appreciate the help and will take it.

They is also going to be a change it the movie I will be reviewing next. My dad returned it a week early, we rented it. The reason I can't write about it is because I can't remember a thing because it was so damn funny. I laughed the whole time.

I'm trying to decide what movie to review next. What do you think? Star Trek: Nemesis, Mr. Nice Guy, Mona Lisa Smile, or Die Hard.

Also, Slayer that is the standard I'm talking about doing your best. Thanks for all the pats on the backs. What do you mean by there is kindness in the world.



Originally Posted by John McClane
I'm trying to decide what movie to review next. What do you think? Star Trek: Nemesis, Mr. Nice Guy, Mona Lisa Smile, or Die Hard.

Also, Slayer that is the standard I'm talking about doing your best. Thanks for all the pats on the backs. What do you mean by there is kindness in the world.
I'd like to see you write a review for your favorite theater franchise which is Die Hard.

My comment was an innocuous statement meaning nothing other than your reviews don’t have to be perfect in order for people here to commend you on them.



You ready? You look ready.
You know what's really funny? I never saw Die Hard when it came out in theaters. I first saw it one TV and went out the same day and bought all 3 of movies. Lol. Well I'd love to write a Die Hard review for ya'll. I know what the title will be A Die Hard Review About Die Hard From A Die Hard Fan Lol. Na I'm just kidding. Well I'm going to go get started on the review. I got to go watch it now. Lol. I could do it from memory, but where's the fun in that.



Originally Posted by John McClane
You know what's really funny? I never saw Die Hard when it came out in theaters.
Of that, I'm sure. You were busy sucking on mama's titty at the time.



Cyberdine Systems Model 101
Originally Posted by LordSlaytan
Of that, I'm sure. You were busy sucking on mama's titty at the time.
LMAO

You're one crazy MF
__________________
Last 5 films I’ve seen

An American In Paris ****/*****
Once Upon A Time In China *****/*****
Father of the Bride ****/*****
Spartacus *****/*****
The Hidden Fortress ****/*****

You can view my review for each of those films at T-850's Reviews



Originally Posted by John McClane
Actually I was 6 years old when it came out. Whats very funny is I know the whole movie by heart.
Die Hard was released in 1988, you were born in 1989...you were six?