Pitch an awful movie that would make a ton of money


My name's Carmine, F*cko
A working priest, once convicted of molestation gets trapped in a game of cat and mouse when he accidentally witnesses a conversation between two government operatives discussing a new prototype for a transformer cab driver. They chase the priest through the streets of san fran, the priest is taken and somehow gets turned into a transformer cab driver. People put bumpers tickers on his cab like "Alloy Steel Pedo" and "I brake for teenage cyborgs". In the end, someone runs him over and crushes him. But the it would make money because Michael Bay would direct it and some SNL alum with some credibility would play the lead. I wouldn't pay one red cent to see this, though.

"Money won is twice as sweet as money earned."

My name's Carmine, F*cko
Taxi Driver: 41 years later - The Return of Travis Bickle!

We'll see how Travis loose his job for a robot!
That is the weirdest thing, I didn't even see your post before I wrote my treatment. There's something in the air, collectively..and it involves a taxi and robots. Someone call Harvey Weinstein...and get Harvey Fierstein while you're at it!

My name's Carmine, F*cko
On Golden Pond 2017

This update would have Nick Nolte and JoBeth Williams being the married couple and Jennifer Garner being the daughter. Justin Timberlake, her boyfriend. The troubled teen played by some typical teenager they screen tested to be edgy.

The cabin is haunted this time. like Paranormal Activity. Fonda and Hepburn make cameos via CGI from outtakes. They appear in dream sequences. Tom Berenger directs in his dir debut. Written by David Mamet. Produced by Tom Hanks. Music by unused Michael Kamen score.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Magic Mike: New Meat
Starring Dwayne Johnson, Chris Pratt, Ryan Reynolds and Chris Hemsworth.
I'd see that.

I'd have to bring a raincoat to the theatre though.
Reviews: Get Out

2016 - Mofo Film Awards

Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell run against each other for President of the United States.
I ran out of RAM, so I had to cut my post short.

Braveheart 2.0 - The Return of William Wallace

William Wallace revives as a Robot in 2075, he fights for the freedom
of the Gundams! He dies in the end for lack of oil!!
Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's Superman. Give him two and he thinks he's God.

I'd see that.

I'd have to bring a raincoat to the theatre though.
Raincoat? You have to bring a ass protector for this film!

My name's Carmine, F*cko
Airplane III: The Train (2018)
Director: Werner Herzog

Slapstick humor mixes with subversive cinema in this tale of chaos aboard an Amtrack headed to it's final destination.


Kathy Bates
Jim Belushi
John Travolta
Winona Ryder
and Bill Pullman.

Music by Jerry Goldsmith (RIP) from his rejected Alien Nation score.

"Thank you, but I prefer it my way."
I've got it! A teenaged doormat falls for a dorky vampire covered in fairy dust and -- get this -- the vampires don't drink blood!

Hey, wait a minute . . .

Why don't I just have my people get back to your people?

OK, OK, here it is: "My Mother the Car: End of the 6th Judgment Day". Julio Watanabe (played by Ahnold -- c'mon, he can still pass for young!), pregnant with his own clone, goes home to his native Jamaica to visit his mother, Christine the Plymouth Fury, who is still possessed by the devil ("Cat poo!"), only this time the devil is a good guy helping Julio to take down the gang of Antarctican drug dealers plotting to corner the heroin market on the Moon. Produced by Adam Sandler (of course!), directed by Michael Bay (of course!), and adapted by E.L. James from his novel.

Alright, let's do lunch.
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die."

Paranormal Activity 11: Apocalypse (The Prequel Sequel Reboot)
Movies are okay sometimes....I guess.

Street Fighter Ultimate Ultra Turbo Collectors Edition Van Damme's Ass vs Bison Movie Edition

Van Damme is back as Old Guile, he will fight the new version of Bison, played by Raul Julia's ghost!