My name's Carmine, F*cko
A working priest, once convicted of molestation gets trapped in a game of cat and mouse when he accidentally witnesses a conversation between two government operatives discussing a new prototype for a transformer cab driver. They chase the priest through the streets of san fran, the priest is taken and somehow gets turned into a transformer cab driver. People put bumpers tickers on his cab like "Alloy Steel Pedo" and "I brake for teenage cyborgs". In the end, someone runs him over and crushes him. But the it would make money because Michael Bay would direct it and some SNL alum with some credibility would play the lead. I wouldn't pay one red cent to see this, though.