Funny Quotes

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A novel adaptation.
Richie loved to use 22s because the bullets are small and they don't come out the other end like a 45, see, a 45 will blow a barn door out the back of your head and there's a lot of dry cleaning involved, but a 22 will just rattle around like Pac-Man until you're dead.
Good movie. I was watching it last night.

It's a veg-ett-uh-bull
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"We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm."
--Winston Churchill



Vyse's Avatar
Follow the White Rabbit ...
No-one's posted any Star Wars quotes yet, looks like I'll be the first ...

Qui-Gon Jin: "Don't worry, the force will guide us...."
Jar-Jar Binks: "Ohh maxi-big da force!!"

Princess Leia Organa: "Will someone get this walking carpet out of my way?"



A novel adaptation.
Ow. *pricks himself*
Damn roses.
*sucks on wound*
Damn thorns.



Put me in your pocket...
Mae West and Groucho Marx had some great one liners....


Mae West

"Is that a gun in you're pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

"Why don't you come up and have a little ... scotch and soffa."

"A hard man is good to find."

"When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better."

"It's not what you do ... it's how you do it."

"It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men."

Mae: "How tall are you ?"
Man: "Six foot seven."
Mae: "Well, let's forget about the six foot and talk about the seven inches".



Groucho Marx

"You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it."

"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."

"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."



Those Groucho Marx quotes brought back memories for example this gem:

of course i love you, i can imagine me coming home seeing you bending over a hot stove, of course i cant see the stove
But here is one from Ally McBeal

C: Love can often be defined by the anwsers of three questions

How do you feel having a deep conversation with him?

Ally: *dreamy* mmmmm

C: how would you feel about him raising your children?

Ally: *smiling* mmmmm

C: and how would you feel about him licking whip cream out of your naval
for those who dont remember that or have never seen the show, let me tell you, 'C' stands for the previously lawyer who ***** his head whenever he says C words (later we learn it a tick in his brain) and he was funny in himself