Rate The Last Movie You Saw

House
(Nobuhiko Obayashi, 1977)

When preparing for the 70's Countdown, I made a list of films that I wanted to watch. House was not one of them. But after seeing several MoFos praise the film, and especially after seeing some of the zany images posted from the film, my curiosity was piqued. I'm glad I watched it, and I understand its appeal, but I did not enjoy this film whatsoever. I would rather be eaten by my television or my couch or any other item from my house than willingly sit and watch it again.



Visually, House is unlike anything I've ever seen, and that's a great compliment to pay any film. I admire its playful spirit, its manic energy, its use of color. I respect how daring and innovative it all is. But, for me, it was just too damn much. As the minutes ticked (slowly) by, and the director continued to throw every possible thing that he could at the screen, using every film technique known to man (and probably inventing a few techniques along the way), my admiration for the film turned into annoyance. I felt like I was driving a car with an ADD kid in the backseat who has a sugar rush and keeps kicking the back of my seat while screaming at the top of his lungs.



Most of the ideas for the film came from the director's young daughter, which isn't surprising. That's why we get pianos that eat people and mattresses that attack people and other bizarre events that could only come from a child's imagination. The film isn't scary in the slightest, nor do I think it really tries to be. Although many viewers classify House as a horror film, I'd consider it more of a fantasy film with horror/macabre elements. According to the special features on the DVD, the film was despised by critics upon its release, but beloved by children. Again, not surprising, since the film is so cartoonish and imaginative. (Picture Scooby-Doo on acid and filtered through Japanese culture.) Maybe if I was eight-years-old I would've liked this film. And maybe I'll enjoy it more if I give it a re-watch sometime in the future. But after my first initial viewing I found House to be too grating and too obnoxious. But hey, at least the cat was cute!

Wild Things
(John McNaughton, 1998)

There's a certain scene from this movie, involving Denise Richards, Neve Campbell, and a pool, that I've seen quite a few times, but this was my first time watching the movie as a whole, and it's even sexier and trashier than I'd imagined. The movie knows that its nothing but pulp, and it never takes itself too seriously. Deliciously ludicrous, loaded with naughty dialogue, full of twists and turns and an appropriately sweaty soundtrack. The camera leers at every chance it gets. Even Kevin Bacon temporarily loses his mind and decides to show off his flaccid penis to the rest of the world. Not a good movie by any stretch, but it was an entertaining piece of junk.


Starship Troopers
(Paul Verhoeven, 1997)

Denise Richards also stars in this movie, but, sadly, she doesn't make out with any of the giant bugs while topless in a pool. I didn't expect to like this movie very much, to be honest, but I was pleasantly surprised by its depth. At first glance it's just a big, dumb, sci-fi/action flick made for teenage boys, but beneath its macho exterior is a movie rife with deceptively intelligent metaphors and scathing satire about fascism, military propaganda, American imperialism and the general oorah! brainwashing that happens to so many young people in our society. The special-effects have held up surprisingly well. At times I felt like I was watching a video-game, with the constant spray of blood and guts and severed limbs that rains during the numerous battles against the seemingly endless hordes of giant bugs, but I mean that in a good way. Simultaneously entertaining and thought-provoking.