How Do You Become a Devil Worshipper?

Well Charlie doesn't actually sing the virtues of Satan but he does make him out to be a mean fiddle player. I don't care how the song goes, Satan kicks Johnny's a**.

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sort of a companion tune to ^^

terriffic storyified song by Chris de Burgh (it pains me to no end that he is best known for the craptastic lady in red)

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"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo.

You become a devil worshiper by worshiping the devil. It seems pretty simple. :P

Okay okay,
we've had several replies commenting on how easy it is to become a devil-worshipper.
The truth is, it takes alot to become a gosh-honest Fallen Angel Follower.
You can't just do stuff like listen to speed metal music & wear extra skinny emo-jeans.
You really have to commit your whole life to it.
The best way to gage if you're a true devil worshipper or not is try & evaluate how people will remember you after you die.
If most who know you will eulogize your memory with statements like "Oh, sure, he/she was often misunderstood b'cuz of their dabblings into the dark arts, but the truth is, we all know that deep down inside, he/she was a good person.".
For any soul wishing to cross over the river Styx, that kind of remembrancial* prose always converts into tokens with an insufficient value when submitted to the Tartarusical* turnstile located at Hades' gate.
No, if you really want the Lyin' King (Satan) to grant you entry into his realm o' sulfur & brimstone, you have to live the kind of life that will make even the Pope respond to your demise with "Oh good. Now he's/she's roasting in Hell."
Worshipping the devil isn't just idolizing a golden calf or sodomizing the neighbor's cat or reading KISS comicbooks in which each band member's blood was mixed in with the red ink. It's much much more than that. It's a lifestyle.

*Yes, these are terms that do not actually exist in the English language. They are words that I bastardized in order to get my point across. It's just one of things that I do to prove that my membership card as one of Lucifer's Legion is legit.
I'll see y'all in Hell.

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Right now, all I'm wearing is a mustard-stained wife-beater T-shirt, no pants & a massive sombrero.

I was wondering about this in my first post. I wondered if it was possible that you could be a devil worshipper, but something happens when you die and God takes you to Heaven anyway. The ultimate f**k up.

It coukd happen according to Christianity. If you on your last breath say "I repent for my sins, I accept Jesus Christ as my savior," then you have a ticket to Heaven. But is Hell such a bad place? Sure, it is hot, but all the fun places are hot like Vegas and Palm Springs. Hell is a happening place, it is exciting. Heaven is boring with its winged angels playing the harp. Who wants to listen to the harp? That was the worse thing about those Marx Brothers movies, Harpo and his harp. At least Chico could swing a little with the piano. They have electric guitars in Hell. That hillbilly song shows Satan plays a mean fiddle. If you are a music fan Hell is where its at.

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It reminds me of a toilet paper on the trees
- Paula

But you're supposed to burn forever in fire in Hell. That's totally different than being out in the heat.

I actually like the harp. Besides, Will, what if the angels are sexy ladies? What if I get a Jake Gyllenhaal playing a harp in Heaven? That's a hell of a lot better than Vegas in Hell.

You know what I think? If you use sun block, you won't burn in Hell, just get a nice tan. There are no sexy ladies in heaven. They all have committed sins. The only women in heaven are nuns and elderly virgins.

The bible NEVER mentions anything about hell other than that there's fire there. No one knows if it's even a bad place. No one even knows if Satan wrote the bible, if he's such a trickster.

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Come back to the devil thread, SC. No one gets upset here except that Mutant X guy.

With pleasure.

I'm fairly certain this chicken worships Satan.

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Satan loves McRibs.

Jesus is a vegetarian.

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