The MoFo Support Group

Okay, this might sound a bit petty but I truly am at my breaking point over this.

My roommate doesn't wash silverware. He uses it, rinses it off, wipes it with a paper towel, and then puts it back in the silverware drawer. We have a dishwasher, so there's no excuse for this. I have told him SO MANY TIMES that it's not acceptable, and only when he sees that I'm watching him does he actually put it in the dishwasher. And I can't always be home, so I have no idea if I'm EVER using clean silverware anymore. I am so frustrated, but I know no amount of asking him or telling him to NOT do this will stop this behavior.

I can't imagine anyone will have any advice for me, but it keeps me from exploding by letting this out. I hate having to go through my silverware drawer trying to find which ones he's used...

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Why don't you just have separate sets that you individually use?

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That won't work unless you keep yours in a locked drawer.

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Give him a big sloppy tongue kiss and then it won't seem like a big deal anymore.

You two need to get on some kind of equal footing. The fact that you're writing about this on the internet says to me that there's absolutely a relationship problem here with your roommate. Like a child, he's probably just doing it for attention. You two need to get on the same level. Talk to him more about this. Maybe hang out with him. Make him feel like he's important to you. He is trying to dominate you and overpower you. Scolding him to put the dishes in the dishwasher is not gonna work. You're just making him more mad. If he could see you talking sh*t about him on the internet right now, there would be absolutely no hope for your silverware. Stop being bossy and angry and start being friendly and accommodating. Do the damn dishes more often if you need to. Make him feel guilty for not doing more work. Make him feel nasty for indulging in his habits. Get real with him. Stop this, "I have told him SO MANY TIMES." You're acting like mommy. Give him a break. You two are men. He wants to be a little messy. Be messy right back. See how he likes it. Be a big slob. Chill out. If you want him to stop driving you crazy, you'll do it. I think you like him driving you crazy.

In other words:

What you are doing isn't working need to change Talk to him like an adult and see is he has any ideas about what you could both do about this situation oh and what the others said

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I wonder why he isn't putting the silverware in the dishwasher? I presume he's putting the dishes in there as you don't say anything about that. How often do you put the dishwasher on? Maybe he thinks you'll run out of knives and forks before the dishwasher is full?
Have you asked him why just the knives and forks? Maybe you just need to buy more?

I did talk to him today, and he agreed to not do it anymore. The problem is that he is difficult to talk to because he doesn't actually take any of it in. Thankfully he is back on his medication that makes him calm down and not be so...scattered. It's difficult to talk to someone who will respond in a stream of gibberish or who doesn't actually listen at all, Believe me I've tried everything before this. He's rational for now, so maybe it will stick? I can't count on this being forever, but for now it will be nice.

Sounds like he needs to stay on his meds

That's a difficult situation for you MP, all you can do is encourage him to take his meds I suppose. Good luck!

Sounds like MP needs to get a new roommate. Tough situation MP, I wish the best on that.

I don't even rise mine off

I know what I'd do.


Remove all the cutlery from the drawer and replace it with plastic stuff.


All the cutlery you've taken out the drawer, hide it and use it for yourself. Wash it immediately after using it and put it back in your hidey place.
Make him use plastic stuff, and if he wants to get some sort of impetigo from skanky cutlery, let him.

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When I lived in the hostel when I ended up homeless back in 2007, I had to share a kitchen and bathroom etc with some right proper skags.
One of them never used to even wipe properly after going to the toilet. He stunk sooo bad.


I never, ever used the utensils that were provided in the kitchen.
I had all my own stuff. I even had my own little fridge in my room... it was one of those mini beer fridges, all it could hold was a block of cheese, a tub of margarine and a pint of milk, but that was enough really.
I refused to use the communal fridge. The guys in the hostel would steal everyone's stuff if they ran out of their own stuff.


When I first moved in, I left a couple of my pots and pans in the kitchen cupboard and one of the guys used them and almost ruined them so I bust a hole in his bedroom door using my saucepan.
Was awful living there but better than on the street I suppose.


But yeah, maybe worth a go having your own cutlery and stuff. Or if the cutlery is yours, and that guy is basically abusing you property, then next time he does it, stab him in the hand with a fork.

Oddly enough, I almost ended up being homeless (and, as a result, dead) today.

It's a very weird feeling when you look around your warm, cozy room and you know it might very well be the last time you get to do that.

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Luckily the hostel I was in was by run for ex serviceman mainly, and the tenants were carefully vetted. It was more supported housing than a hostel. I saw a shrink and addiction counsellor every week while there. It felt more like a family than just some strangers living together. We had to keep the kitchen and living room clean or we got an official warning.

Well, I hope you're okay now.

Hope things are ok

I know the feeling. I haven't had any security for years. I just try not to think about it.