Rate The Last Movie You Saw

I guess because Ritter stays with her after he gets wounded.

I just finished watching The French Dispatch. I'm a big fan of Wes Anderson and have seen all of his films. For me, The French Dispatch is indisputably his worst film. It has a great cast and a lot of style, but isn't very interesting or entertaining overall. The cinematography, production design, costumes, and score were good though. The story was lacking for me and it dragged on for far too long. This is Anderson's worst screenplay ever, in my opinion. My rating is a

Abduction, 2019

Quinn (Scott Adkins) wakes up in a fountain in Vietnam with no memory of how he got there, only knowing that his daughter has been kidnapped. At the same time, former gangster Connor (Andy On) discovers that his wife has been taken. With the help of doctor Anna (Truong Ngoc Anh), Quinn and Connor begin to unravel a conspiracy that may have supernatural, alien origins.

Generally speaking, I find Scott Adkins to be one of the more consistent sources of B-action entertainment. I even find a few of his films to be a fair slice above just passable action fare. Adkins has really solid athletic ability, and clearly isn't intimidated by working with others at the same level, and his best films find ways to feasibly move him from setpiece to setpiece so that we can enjoy flying kicks and wall-climbing antics.

This movie . . . . um . . . is a little different. I guess that if I had gone into it knowing it was sci-fi I might have had an easier time with it. But instead the overly-complex mythology it tried to build came off as more of an absurd surprise.

The good news is that there are a few pretty decent fight scenes here, though they don't quite feel like they are operating at full speed. There's a bit too much feeling of careful choreography.

But the downside here is that the plot (about time-traveling aliens controlling people with glowing green spiders and also stealing our energy and also stealing our DNA and also trying to open a portal and also warping space-time) is kind of a muddle. Outside of Adkins and On, the acting is super spotty. And for reasons I simply cannot fathom, there is a tacked on really sad ending that makes no sense with the actual plot.

Not the worst B-action, but also not something I can really recommend either.

The Matrix Resurrections -

of course the dude with the Escape From L.A. avatar liked it

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Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0

It had all the bespoke grandeur of a WA film, but lacked charm and never seemed to find a rhythm.

He’s probably past the point, but I would love for him to make something closer to The Royal Tenebaums or Rushmore again. The diorama stuff is losing it’s charm.

National Treasure, 2004

Benjamin Franklin Gates (Nicholas Cage) is a treasure hunter/historian whose family has long passed down a story of a treasure squirreled away by the founding fathers. Financed by the wealthy Ian Howe (Sean Bean), Gates finds a major clue before being betrayed by Howe and left for dead along with sidekick Riley (Justin Bartha). Gates and Riley go in hot pursuit of the treasure, which involves stealing the Declaration of Independence, which puts them on the radar of fellow historian Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger).

You know who is a dang National Treasure? Nicholas Cage. But honestly, the whole cast of this ridiculous, enjoyable film hits exactly the right pitch. Jon Voight as Gates's long suffering father. Harvey Keitel as the government agent hunting Gates and his crew. (At one point Keitel seriously intones "smart fish" as a compliment to Gates for escaping into the water and I have no words for how splendid it is).

This is the kind of live action film for kids that I really don't mind. There are some neat history lessons in there, the action sequences are fun, and the puzzle-solving aspect of it is goofy and enjoyable.

If you watch this film, I think you know exactly what you're getting into. It's hokey fun and at the end of a long week it made for a perfect turn-your-brain-off film.

Have you seen Avengement? That might my favourite thing I've seen him in, and the best showcase of his genuine acting talent.

Theater of Blood, 1973

Edward Lionheart (Vincent Price), a long assumed dead Shakespearean actor, emerges from hiding to take gruesome, Shakespeare-inspired revenge on the circle of theater critics who lambasted his performances for years. Assisted by his equally ruthless and deranged daughter (Diana Rigg) and a gaggle of homeless men and women he's bribed to the cause, Lionheart cuts a swath through the critics.

This is a very silly movie, which of course knows that it is a very silly movie.

I personally am a fan of Vincent Price, and his all-in approach to his roles. There's such an intention to his performances in films like House of Usher or The Pit and the Pendulum, that their campy leanings feel like the only correct approach to the material.

It is fun, though, to see Price having a good time playing an actor who cannot understand why critics refuse to take him seriously. A highlight of many sequences is Lionheart reciting, with impassioned delivery, the writings of the critic he is about to slay. "Laid between the delicately underplayed performances of Miss Lillywhite as Lavinia and Miss Mole as Tamora," he booms, "one is irresistibly reminded of a ham sandwich." Lionheart sweeps around in a cape or under a variety of wigs and prosthetics, refusing to believe that his approach to Shakespeare is anything but correct.

The killings themselves are a mixed bag. Some are very funny, while others are a bit off. Despite the film being very silly, I still had mixed feelings about how often the revenge involved hurting the loved ones or pets of the critics. I was much more a fan of the over-the-top stuff, such as when Lionheart and one of the critics engage in a sword fight while leaping around on trampolines. That is the content I signed up for.

A fun little horror-comedy.

I have not! Thank you for the tip! The title is very silly, so I'd have probably skipped it until some random Friday night.

And it's on (US) Netflix!

I do think that his acting can be pretty good, but he's definitely not someone who's able to do a lot with bad writing.

Accident Man is probably my favorite of his, but I see that I haven't given anything I've seen from him higher than a 3/5. I mean, I'd give that YouTube montage of him a 4.5/5, but that's also only like 5 minutes long.

Cryptozoo -

This is a unique and uniquely animated fantasy set in a world in which humans and cryptids, i.e., creatures like unicorns, gorgons, etc. live side by side. If you're guessing that the U.S. government wants to capture these creatures and leverage their magical powers to subdue the populace's urges to rebel against it, you'd be correct. Luckily, this world has Lauren Grey (Lake Bell), who scouts cryptids so she can keep them safe in the titular facility. Her latest target is a Baku, whose dream-consuming abilities are just what Uncle Sam needs.

Again, the animation as just as distinctive as the movie's premise. Everything looks like it was hand drawn in colored pencil, and thankfully, the most imaginative animation in the movie is found in the cryptids. Besides the Baku, which is as adorable as it is beautiful - think the Forest Spirit in Princess Mononoke, which is one likely inspiration - I also got a kick out of Pliny, a childlike humanoid creature whose face happens to be in his chest. The movie might as well be set in the present day, but not only setting it during the politically tumultuous late '60s, but also mostly in San Francisco is an inspired touch. I also approve of the movie combining multiple genres without coming across as unwieldy and discombobulated as, well, a chimera. It works as a detective tale, an action movie and even as a romance.

Considering how painstaking it looks like the movie took to make as well as how hard its premise was to sell to investors, I've never felt like I've had more nerve when giving a movie a final judgement: it's a good movie, but not quite a great one. While I've praised the aesthetics, there are a few parts that are rough around the edges and I don't think it's just because the animators were trying to apply a human touch. That, and despite being distinctive on the whole, due to how the movie flaunts its likely inspirations from Miyazaki to Jurassic Park, my overall reaction is "you're close, but you're not quite there yet.” It's still one of the strongest three-star movies I've seen in quite a while and I consider it a must-see if you're an animal lover. Oh, and that applies to those who hate fascists as well (which, ideally, is everybody, but I digress).

I still need to see Accident Man, but between Avengement, Savage Dog and the Debt Collector movies, I do like how his movies with Jesse V. Johnson use him as an actual actor. The Debt Collector movies also pair him with Louis Mandylor, who turns in a really good peformance in the vein of Bruce Willis (back when he cared). Considering I turn to DTV movies purely for their action, these movies have been nice surprises in that respect.

Terms of En-Rampagement was his apex.

But seriously, I enjoyed the two Debt Collector flicks.

After Last Season (2009, Mark Region)
I appreciate all the bizarre touches (and the film is exclusively made of bizarre touches) but the lack of energy holds it back. Then again this is one of those movies where you wouldn't want to change anything for fear of losing that je ne sais quoi that it has such a tenuous grasp on. I wanted to like it more than I did but its still a fascinating watch.

Pandorum, 2009

Bower (Ben Foster) and Payton (Dennis Quaid) jolt awake from long-term sleep pods aboard a ship in deep space heading for an Earth-like planet to start a new settlement. But the ship seems to be malfunctioning, and the crew who was supposed to wake them for their shift is nowhere to be found. The two part ways with Payton manning a control room and Bower heading for the ship's reactor. Bower must contend with strange, violent creatures who roam the ship, while Payton tries to get straight answers from a young officer (Cam Gigandet) who claims to have had to kill other crew out of self-defense.

There's something so frustrating about a film like this, where something really interesting and fun just gets smushed into mediocrity through almost every choice in the craft of it.

On the positive side, Foster and Quaid both turn in solid performances, with Foster bearing the load of the narrative weight as he navigates the large, hostile ship corridors. The supporting cast is also pretty good, though the writing of those characters is relatively weak.

The film also manages to capture some of the awe and terror of deep space exploration. The name of the film comes from a fictionalized deep space madness, and the legend of a ship called the Pandora on which the captain went crazy and ejected all of the passengers. The sleep containers--which one character refers to as a "metal coffin"--are frightening and effective props.

But, boy, is this a movie that shoots itself in the foot over and over and over. There are about five plot turns in the film (I resist the term "twist" in this case for the most part), and three of them are just so stunningly obvious. As the writing tries to dance around them, it just gets annoying. There are repeated, REPEATED reference to "aliens" and I am not spoiling anything when I say, my man, those are clearly not aliens. And all of this dancing around just means that by the time we land on two pretty compelling non-obvious developments, you are kind of burned out on the movie "surprising" you.

There is some decent action and gore to be found, but some of it starts to feel redundant. This is also a film that plays fast and loose with the abilities (speed, strength) of the creatures, and their capabilities always seem to fit whatever a specific scene needs. There's also very liberal use of that late 2000s helter-skelter editing style--with lots of cutaways and flashes of images--and it is really annoying and distracting.

I liked the movie just fine. Foster really does keep things together in his role despite some pretty unhelpful dialogue. But what a waste of potential!

My Heart Can't Beat Unless You Tell It To, 2020

Dwight (Patrick Fugit) and Jessie (Ingrid Sophie Schram) are adult siblings living in a small town with their younger brother, Thomas (Owen Campbell). Thomas is afflicted with some sort of vampire-like disorder, and must subsist on blood sourced by his brother and sister. But as Dwight grows increasingly depressed and conflicted over his actions and Jessie goes about her routines with cold efficiency, it becomes clear that the ecosystem of their strange life cannot be sustained.

I have to admit to being slightly let down by this film, though I think that I may have had expectations for it that weren't quite in line with the film's own objectives.

The performances are all good. Fugit and Schram portray people moving in different directions, emotionally speaking. Fugit's character is growing more restless and agitated, each death taking a bigger and bigger toll on him. On the opposite end of things, Schram has settled into a detached, almost robotic routine, not hesitating even a moment before using pliers to pull a gold tooth out of one of her victims.

This is a very subdued film, which is why my response to it may not have been the most enthusiastic. The real horror is about where different people draw the line about what they'd do for their loved ones. Not only do we see the weight on the siblings who must "harvest" the blood for Thomas, but the weight on Thomas himself who is totally isolated.

Something I struggled with in this film was the degree to which it remains ambiguous on several key points. I don't care so much that we never learn how Thomas came to have his affliction, or how they discovered what he needs to survive. But toward the end of the film there are some key questions whose answers are left off screen and at that point I did tip a bit into frustration.

The movie also doesn't quite seem to know how much it wants to play the story straight and how much it wants to invite some moments of dark comedy. Think Dogtooth but without as steady a tone. There are some good sequences, such as when Jessie seriously considers slaughtering a diner patron----Jessie works as a waitress---who advises her "You should try smiling!". There's another sequence where Thomas manages to lure a local teenager (Judah Bateman, who looks like an adorable baby Ed Sheeran) into the house to try to make friends with him. The tension and humor in both of these sequences is really well balanced, and I wish more of the film had been that way.

Sometimes the label of "horror" can really ding you in terms of what you expect and what you get. I suspect that with a better sense of what the film was after, I would have enjoyed it more.

An honest question... why would you watch this?
I continue to be baffled by people on this forum whom I hold in esteem and who I know like good movies as well as good bad ones and even just finding something good in bad ones, watching contemporary DTV dreck. I just can't fathom it. I just can't see any value at all. Like, if my choices were, re-watch Final Exam, pick lint out of my navel for 90 minutes straight, or watch a contemporary DTV action-flick, I would choose the first two in order and those failing would perhaps go polish the silverware that I don't own instead of the third.
What do you get out of watching these?

Honestly, I would almost consider watching this (not really but in some parallel dimension) just because you used the word "splendid" to describe a moment of it.

I like watching movies while I grade student work or do planning or whatever, and DTV or B-action is pretty perfect. You just listen to most of it and look up when the punching starts.

I also really do enjoy watching Adkins--I think he's really physically talented and almost dancer-like in his body control and movement. Like Rock says, he's a charismatic actor in the right context.

You might try Madhouse, if you haven't already.

It's not all that bad. A sort of poor man's Indiana Jones/DaVinci Code. Or you could just wait and watch Uncharted instead which looks like it covers the same ground. That's not a recommendation though. A Marky Mark/Spiderman teamup holds no interest for me.