A Blog of Sorts: Letting Go of the Bad for the Good


I used to eat, breathe, sweat, and think of nothing but cinema—I loved it. It was a major passion and additive to my life. This was years and years ago, maybe ten or more. But because of mental illness and addiction I lost sight of it... and I feel like a drummer without his drum. I found faith during this time, and it's helped me personally, but I still feel without my purpose. Recently I came on here again, but suffered another mental issue, and words were exchanged and I feel regrettably terrible for those words and who I said them to. I did make amends and it did seem they were well received, but truth told even on my last visit here I wasn't really "watching" movies—I was just re-hashing old narratives about them that I told myself years ago.

But now I want to change that, I feel I have another opportunity. In recent years what's holding me back is a major caffeine & coffee addiction and diabetes. The caffeine/coffee addiction is out of control, but more to it, it affects my blood sugars, which when my blood sugars are affected I suffer mental health issues.

All told here, I want to start maybe a film blog here. A "quit addiction for a passion blog." As of now I'm one day off all caffeine and I want to keep the train rolling. Maybe a film, or (two), or (three), on and on, a day. Or films I'm collecting. On an on. All said I hope this helps me, and if you're all interested too, I hope it blesses you all as well. Here goes letting go of one bad thing and bringing home something good for another!
Imagine an eye unruled by man-made laws of perspective, an eye unprejudiced by compositional logic, an eye which does not respond to the name of everything but which must know each object encountered in life through an adventure of perception. How many colors are there in a field of grass to the crawling baby unaware of 'Green'?

-Stan Brakhage

Day One

I'm currently collecting LaserDisc, (mainly for special features that never transferred into DVD or Blu-Ray), I watched the King Kong commentary and it was absolutely fascinating! Not only is that commentary the very conception of commentar(ies). ... but it's actually really well done and I learned a lot about the film, (particularly the screenwriter and director). The man was a legend in himself doing some pretty ballsy things within his life. Anyway, this is my first installment.
Click image for larger version

Name:	IMG_1402.jpg
Views:	12
Size:	410.9 KB
ID:	82900  

Day One

The Expendables

All truth told, I could never really get into these mindless popcorn flicks. They kind of bore me. I don't mind things like Commando where it's overtly "self-aware" and "hams-into" the absurdity of itself—in which case that's always a level of fun for me. I also didn't mind Terminators 1 & 2 for the level of social commentary and sophistication beneath the "action" of it all—which was really well conceived in and of itself. But when shaky cam starts going off, and editing through action quickly... it just feels cheap to me. Not to mention the countless cliche's of "the soft moment that changes it all for the hero," the jokes that aren't really funny but canned, and dialogue that doesn't seem to really "progress the narrative" other than to fill time or "force feed" the audience information about this or that character. Just not my type of film. Maybe it works for some people, but for me it's not really my bread and butter. I will watch the sequels, admittedly. Maybe if I go into them knowing what I'm in for I'll have more grace to it.

The Grand Illusion (1937)

The Grand Illusion has remained a "growing" film with me. Initial viewing of the work felt stodgy and unrewarding to me. And, perhaps truth told, there were some realistic validations in these notions—auditorialy speaking, (unless spoken of beautiful dialogue), it's a bit "void" musically and visually speaking, (unless spoken of French Poetic Realism "long shots/takes"), it seems to prove more of an historical piece than an aesthetical. But, admittedly as I've come to sit with it and come to it time and again, I think the work is much ahead of my sensibilities. I think the crux of The Grand Illusion, albeit certainly placed within the French Poetic Realism "class," defies "class." It instead speaks to a greater purpose and perhaps a greater narrative—one of humanism, communication, and the human tragedy that is the lack thereof. In such ways, and more truth told, perhaps the critical heart of such "categorizations" melts at the very conditions that befall us all. As, (citing from script here), "Should a French farmer talk to a French financier they'd have little to relate, but a French farmer to a Chinese farmer—no language would serve as barrier." The Grand Illusion takes us away from the horrors and tragedies that occupied the front lines of that dreadful First War and bring us behind to occupy instead the honor of decent men. None inasmuch divided by nation to nation, but from aristocrat to proletariate, occupation to occupation, even one faith, (or lack of), to another—within the confines of an interment camp, the world condition. In some sense I think The Grand Illusions lack of brilliance for perhaps "meeting up to" the merits of a movement, (which I think are better suited toward another Gabin film, Pepe le Moko), in other such ways make it shine more brilliantly as stand alone. As not typecasting itself and limiting itself within "narrative confines" of that medium, it becomes free to roam in the realms of its own ideals—which are most certainly high and demanding more than lay-intellect, but that of wisdom. Such wisdom, truth told, as time has aged me in my mid-thirties now—only seems to become truer and truer. Perhaps this is why at this particular sitting, and coming to know the world that much more than just a brash-twenties, The Grand Illusion become less "Illusionary," but in age, clearer and clearer.

I like your quote señor dog man.
Dont sacrifice your own welfare
for that of another,
no matter how great.
Realizing your own true welfare,
be intent on just that.

Still on the crack, but perhaps maybe the mind needs more of a hook, maybe I'll choose do to a film histor(ies). Not only of a time, a time of nation(s), etc. but one of aesthetics, technologies, form, style, culture, and perhaps the meetings of these things there in. If this is my own personal soap box—preach it.