Re-watching Star Wars Prequels

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I am the Watcher in the Night
With the arrival of Disney+ in the UK and its back catalogue of films, I switched to Star Wars: Episode One - The Phantom Menace, out of morbid curiosity and hoping to find some great new insight into the mind of Lucas...I fell into a pit of madness, Gungans, hokey CGI, the most deadpan acting ever to grace a major Hollywood picture and it just blew my mind. Not because it was so bad, not because it was good, not because it was Star Wars but because it was like The Room, a car crash we all know is coming but we can't take our eyes off it; among all that atrocity, there is something genuinely great, something actually heartfelt, missing in the Disney sequels.

All of that has led me to wanting to re-watch the whole prequel trilogy, with a write up each time. I won' needlessly bash on this (it's been done to death for 21 years) and I won't talk about this from the viewpoint of a Warsy (it's what I call a Star Wars fan) because I am not one. I want to view the prequels from the lens of a millennial, such as I am, and from a modern cinematic stand point. So here goes....in a laptop far, far away....

Visuals
Where else was I going to start? The originals essentially invented the special effects driven blockbuster. I know, there was Jaws before it and we can go as far back as the '50s with special effects driven sci-f- movies and shows, but none of them had the impact Star Wars did. It was the first true tent pole picture. So, it is only natural to think that by 1999, Star Wars would be at the forefront of yet another visual effects revolution, yet it never was...not entirely anyway. Let me explain.

By the end of the '90s, we had already seen the superb CGI of Terminator 2: Judgement Day, which still holds to this day, then Spielberg decided to blow our kid brains with Jurassic Park and throughout the later years there was Independence Day, Godzilla, Titanic and Pixars revolutionary computer animated films. With the release of The Phantom Menace, CGI was front and centre once again...very front and very centre. Lucas and ILM hoped that JarJar Binks would be the first time a central character was portrayed fully through CGI; that hope became a reality, when 15 minutes into the film JarJar wobbles onto the screen, is rescued by Qui-Gon and then proceeds to be in almost every major scene from then on. As annoying as JarJar's dialogue is, as terrible as his characterisation, the effects are plain bad.

Now I know I would look at this from a 2020 lens but this is not the reason why I think JarJar's CGI is so bad. Just look at what was already around in the '90s, Robert Patrick's T-1000 had liquid effects that still hold up, the dinosaur CGI in Jurassic Park is even more menacing than any of the over animated nonsense we get in the 21st century sequels and the aliens in Men In Black, a movie released a year before Menace, look far better. What was ILM's excuse here? In the early days of the CG revolution, ILM was the mos well funded special effects house on the planet, how could they fail so miserably? Was it the fact that Lucas went full on and wanted almost everything to be CG? It is common practice now that most sets are largely CG and actors are working against green screen, in many cases the outfits worn by superheroes are also fully CGI (looking at you Iron Man and Spidey). Maybe, in 1999, CG upon CG could not work, the effects were not advanced enough and the expertise not quite there. It is important to remember that a fully CGI Gollum was just 2 years away and the trilogy was already in production.

There are some visual highlights, Naboo looks beautiful, lightsabres have never looked this good before and some of the ships, in particular Queen Amidala's chrome cruiser is stunning in HD. In fact, the best effects here are when the CGI elements are mixed in with the practical, the best example being the Jedis versus Darth Maul sequence (more on that later).

Add to all this the best visual highlight in the entire series - the pod racing. It has aged amazingly well. The mountain passes, the stark desert environment, the bright blue sky and the pods as they roll, burst into flames and splinter into a thousand pieces. This is what I expect from ILM and they deliver. Once again, they succeed because they manage to mix the practical with the computer generated and they use their limitations to their advantage. To generate a high speed chase, with this many digital elements, against a largely digital backdrop and with several digital characters would have been a phenomenal ask in the late 90s and yet ILM knew that each of their CG elements only needed to be on screen for a few seconds at most, so they toned down the detail and toned up the speed. It gave everything a high risk, engaging element, something missing from almost every other aspect of the film.

I guess the lasting legacy in terms of visuals for this movie is that it gave several directors and production houses the confidence that CGI was reaching a point where entire environments and characters could be animated. For what it's worth, that is something.

Sound Design
From the now iconic Star Wars theme, through to the low hum of lightsabres and the ping of lasers, this movie sounds spectacular. If you have a decent sound system, hook it up and enjoy! The clunk of the droids, the metallic swoosh as they roll towards our heroes, the jets on spaceships and the pod racing...the pod racing! I've already mentioned this in the visual section, but it is also the best sounding part of this movie. I guess there's a reason why this scene stands out in such a disliked or divisive film. Simple, effective, loud.

The dialogue, in particular the default robo voice used for the droids lets the whole thing down. It is just so childish, then again, maybe that's the problem; maybe this is a movie made for children and not grown arse men wanting to complain. But come on, even children must hate the whiney, rasta like voice of JarJar Binks. Who sat around and thought that was a good idea?

Plot
Spoilers for a 2 decade old movie, obviously!

There are many complaints about the plot and in all honesty, it does start with a pretty boring opening scrawl - trade federation, embargo, taxation....which ten year old is going to enjoy that? Yet once the movie gets going it actually moves along at a fair pace. One second the Jedi are on a federation battleship, the next they are running through a forest in Naboo and literally minutes later they are on Tatooine and Anakin Skywalker is being introduced. All this within roughly the first 30 minutes of the film. It certainly doesn't hang around and ask for our attention.

In many ways, Menace influenced a number of blockbusters in the 00s with this fast paced approach, with the perfect example being The Fast and The Furious. Now hear me out, I know people do not normally link Star Wars with Vin Diesels retirement fund but structural, the films have a lot in common. Little plot, poorly written dialogue and all this just used as an excuse to move from one action sequence to another. It isn't bad but it does leave you wondering why you should care for any of the characters at all? They will all be fine anyway...wait, Qui-Gon dies!

Qui-Gon Jinn was probably the best written Jedi introduced in the entire Star Wars film saga, wise, a great warrior and someone who understood the real world and had more flexible than Yoda, Mace Windu and co. His backstory, covered in some well written Star Wars YA novels from the 90s make him an even greater character Anyway, Qui-Gon is the character I connected with most as a kid in 1999, and it's the one I liked most in 2020. His death still hits home and is the smartest decision made in the prequel trilogy. The Jedi lose a wise, open mind, Obi-Wan loses his master (what could have been if Qui-Gon could have trained Obi and Anakin) and Anakin loses a potential father figure. The fact that Obi Wan is enraged and uses that rage to kill Darth Maul feels justified and shows us that even the Jedi are not perfect.

The final sequence, with Amidala's return to Naboo, Qui-Gon's funeral and Naboo victory is quite well done and a nice way to end the movie.

The Verdict
Big, loud, silly and cringe worthy, this is a movie you watch to be entertained and you laugh AT it, not WITH it. I know Lucas does not want to hear this, but if Tommy Wissau can come to terms with being liked, for being rubbish, maybe Lucas and Menace can too. If you haven't seen it, watch it now just for he laughs, if you have seen it, watch it again because it is even more goofy as an adult. If you are a Star Wars fan, you may want to live life believing that nothing happened before episode 4 and nothing happened after episode 6.
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Raven73's Avatar
Boldly going.
I liked the prequels when I first saw them. I still like them. I didn't enjoy them as much as the Original Trilogy, but they are vastly superior to Disney's sequel trilogy in every way.

I just watched Attack of the Clones and I don't even mind Anakin's dialogue, which many people criticize as being awkward, because Anakin's character was supposed to be awkward: he was a teenager (an awkward age) who lived basically a monastic life since he was 9 with a bunch of Jedi, who relates better to machines than with people. Of course he's going to sound like a buffoon when he's alone with Padme. I've also maintained that the dialogue in the OT was not all that brilliant either.

The prequels are classics compared to Disney's sequel trilogy.
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I am the Watcher in the Night
Here we are again....and I have just finished the prequel trilogy. It is difficult to know how to fully communicate what Episodes I & II are like, even for those who have seen them already. I guess I need to go back to my original brief and look at this from a modern perspective, how does it hold up now in the age of the blockbuster; in a cinematic environment changed by Marvel, what was Lucas playing at with this?

In the beginning...
There was a gangly, late teen Anakin, played by Hayden Christenen. Now this is an actor who has been bashed his whole career, for something which is not even his own fault. It is the directors job to get the best from his actors, but clearly Lucas is too busy making sure his guys are standing at the right spot, for the right angle, for the nest bit of CGI to lumber by, behind, on top of or any other position he can dream up. Heck, look at what seasoned actors like McGregor and Jackson are doing here. I swear McGregor delivers his lines like he is reading through the script for the first time. So cut Hayden some slack!

The story kicks off some ten years after The Phantom Menace and boy is it a doozy, there's the Senate who are trying to fend off separatists but wait...they don't have an army! Or do they? Apparently some clones have been manufactured from the genetic material of a bounty hunter, seems it's the best they could come up with. This, however, is where it gets weird from a movie production stand point. If you haven't heard, Lucas was involved in the production of the original trilogy, he knew what Boba Fett sounded like. Here, in Episode II, where one of the clones will go on to become Boba Fett....he decides to hire an actor from New Zealand, doesn't even ask him to cover his accent and sends him on his way.

You know what Lucas thought was easier than hiring the right actor/voice? Fiddling with the original trilogy so Boba Fett sounded like a kiwi. Why you asked yourself? It is the same question any sane individual would ask but it is clear that Lucas is far from sane. Has money made his mind explode? Or is he so far up his own unmentionable he has lost track of all logic? The Fett situation is not where the insanity ends. There are odd choices throughout the film. Jar Jar Binks, already by this point in the early 00s one of the most hated of cinematic characters, returns; but wait, he is one of the political staff of Naboo, what the f...?? How did he get such a promotion? For what purpose? Heck, how does Naboo work exactly there is an elected queen but now that queen is a Senator, who has more power than the queen? Huh?

Anyway, who cares, because Lucas doesn't. He doesn't care that the Jedi repeatedly speak about the return of the Sith but do nothing. They question and alienate their own Anakin Skywalker, while trusting and not trusting the clearly maniacal Palpatine. Then we're supposed to believe that Anakin, who has repeatedly made creepy advances on Padme gets the girl because...they spend time together! Hurrah!

Some hope
Like I said in my first post, I do not want to repeatedly bash and there is some definite hope here, first and foremost the inventiveness of the mechanical and creature design. There is often more imagination in any single of these scenes than in the entire mundane, boring, bleak sequel trilogy. The designs of the various creatures, ships, planets and weapons is great, let down not by ambition but wonky visuals. Then there are some terrific chase sequences, the opening segment on Coruscant as Anakin and Obi Wan chase a bounty hunter through the city, is very well done. Even the comedy, delivered with clunky one liners, is endearing and helps to showcase the relationship between master and padawan.

The final showdown in a gladiator pit is...again...let down by wonky, flat visuals with everything clearly being worked against green screen but it is fun. Padme is "badass", knows how to take care of herself, while Obi Wan is funny but dangerous, a cunning, level headed warrior. Anakin is shown to be gaining power, strong, intuitive but headstrong. In the span of about 30 minutes the characters show more development than Kylo Ren in 3 films. An earlier sequence between Obi Wan and Jango Fett, which stretches from planet to space to meteor belt is just as thrilling, fun, goofy and entertaining.

What does it all mean?
I mentioned in my last write up, that this is a series of children's films, it is what they were aimed at. Looking at it fro an adult lens, hoping that it has adult appeal will only leave you with disappointment. The dialogue is clunky but go back and watch all your favourite kids cartoons, they were just as bad. The characters are usually one dimensional, the plot basic, the villains obvious....go back to those cartoons, what do you see? Exactly.

So stick by what it is and you may just be slightly entertained by the cool action sequences, the clunky jokes and the romance...scratch that last part. The romance is utter trash. Enjoy the madness!