Birth Control or Natual Family Planning what would you choose?

Nope. The whole point of the pill is to prevent pregnancy. Even with the pill, the availability of sex does not extend 24/7 because at some point she's gonna be sleeping, eating, commuting, working at her job or in her home, etc. There has never been a 24/7 option because real life doesn't work that way. In real life, the pill has been promoted always and simply for prevention of pregnancy.

There's no conflicting message for men who understand the point of the pill. All I was ever interested in was that she not become pregnant whenever we got around to doing it. With the pill, it's mostly up to her to prevent pregnancy by taking the pill and up to me to persuade her to have sex at any particular time. But strangely enough, there are times that some women are more anxious to become pregnant than you are in preventing them from becoming pregnant.

It really only applies to women who have side effects. For example, a woman doesn't feel "in-the-mood" because of nauseousness or some other side effect...yet she's taking something so sex is more readily accessible. The two just do not mesh.

Good grief people, I'm not actually advocating that the pill's only intention is so people can have sex like rabbits 24/7. Not that this wouldn't appeal to some people. The point I am making is that the pill removes the possibility of children from the sexual act for the sake of making sex more accessible/worry-free. The 24/7 might have been an embellishment, yes, but the point is still valid. When there are less consequences from sex, people are, generally, going to want/have it more...yet the side-effects would be a deterrent going against this very claim.


I'm not holding it up as superior but rather an equal alternative. NFP users would argue that the periods where they have to abstain builds sexual restraint and provides them with a time to explore other parts of their relationship, i.e. a time when a back rub is just a back rub and not a way of getting the other person in the sack.

No one, I was just stating it for the hell of it.

Where did I say otherwise? I wholeheartedly agree with your statement that it will better suit some people, which is why I harped on the same line twice now; this system can really only apply to a married or committed couple.

If I sounded mean, I assure you that was not my intent. I was only hoping to make things clearer.

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"This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined." -Baruch Spinoza

I'm sure that reads very well in the training manual, but it really doesn't apply to real life where all couples fight about sex, money, and the kids. This is universal. Communication is fine, mutual respect is certainly to be desired, but the daily trials of real life will erode communication and knock off some of the edges of mutual respect. It's all part of the normal wear and tear, regardless what kind of birth control you have in play.

You have a couple living from pay check to pay check, and then someone misreads the thermometer or decides "that's close enough" and suddenly they're facing the extra expense of a blessed event, it will make your hair stand on end to see how fast lack of money will eat into mutual respect and communication. Or say Momma is dying to have her own little baby to dress and show around while Daddy wants to wait until they get some bills paid off and have some money in the bank. Her fault, his fault, no one's fault, someone in time is going to ask himself if she stacked the deck to get the baby she wanted sooner than he wanted.

I'm sure we agree the natural way is no panacea for birth control nor for fidelity in marriage. However, I seriously doubt the divorce rate is significantly lower over 25 years or more among those practicing natural birth control than with any other form of birth control, simply because there are many, many more factors at play in a marriage.

I already addressed this point in my last post, so I won't repeat myself here.

This would be another problem for some people. Why is the woman responsible for preventing pregnancy? The last time I checked it still required a penis!

NFP introduces a shared load when it comes to the prevention of pregnancy. The man has to become aware of his woman's cycles and take this into account with his own sexual desires. As in, the guy will have to "suffer" a few days or wrap his device if *they* want to avoid a pregnancy. It's a shared effort.

I gotta respectfully disagree with you on this one. Communication is the *KEY* aspect of marriage...and it needs to come from both partners. Without it, the establishment will ultimately fail, or at the very least suffer drastically. There's nothing a couple can't weather provided the lines of communication are left open. True communication, mind you, and not the type for appearances sake. You may call me naive but every relationship in life is dependent on communication...marriage is just one that requires a lot more work.

Naw, you didn't sound mean, just defensive. But you needn't be. You're entitled to your opinion. You don't have to defend it to anyone. You're free to state your beliefs, and I'm free to state mine. And if they don't agree, so what? It's differences in opinions that make horse races.

However, as someone who was around when The Pill first came on the market, I guarantee you it was never, ever advertised as a means to have sex whenever you wanted, with or without side effects. It was advertised as doing one simple thing better than any other procedure--preventing the occurance of pregnancies. That was its whole message--"use this and you won't get pregnant--usually".

Oh, it's nice in theory to say the woman shouldn't be solely responsible for preventing pregnancy, but since she's the one whose belly will be showing, not mine, and the baby eventually will pop out of her womb and not my penis, then she has more of a vested interest in either preventing or not preventing pregnancy than I, especially if we're not married. It's a hell of a lot harder for her to deny parenthood than me.

Besides, sharing should extend a lot futher than birth control and sex. My wife was in her late 40s and I was in my late 50s when we married. She had a hystrrectomy; I had a vasectomy, so we were good to go on the pregnancy issue. But I still helped paint her house and work her garden before we married and still help with the cooking, cleaning, dishes, and laundry since we married.

Same thing can be said for yeast infections, yet I've known ladies who found ways to get around that. I knew one lady who wanted to have sex just a few days after she had some female surgery. I actually tried to talk her out of it because I worried about her health. She got her way, however, and I ended up busting a couple of her inside stitches. So much for sharing and suffering and doing without.

Oh, I'm all for communication. And having been married 3 times I'll gladly testify it's a hell of a lot of hard work.

But I also know that even when you're communicating, you don't always know what you're communicating. And you certainly don't always know what is being heard. There was a lady I used to be crazy about who every time we had a problem she would sit down and talk it out. No screaming, no accusations like I was used to, didn't even raise her voice-- just gently debated me around to her point of view. And after awhile, I got so damn tired of that!!! I mean, if you're mad, let me know it--yell and cuss and carry on and let me vent, too, and then it's over. And maybe every once in awhile I'll win. As it was, I always felt like I was a work in progress that never quite measured up to her standards.

The fact is, communication sounds nice, but most people don't know how to do it that well. And I found over the years that complete honesty can be hell to pay. There are some things she's better off not knowing. And some things I'm better off if she doesn't know. Personally I've found over the years things generally run smoother if I never ask a question that I might not like the answer to.

It's been my experience that the major problem with couples is not lack of communication so much as they build walls between them, by holding grudges. In theory, communication should help tear down those walls, but in real life it doesn't work that way. There are some things that all the communication in the world cannot resolve.

You illustrate my point exactly. Right many people share responsibility until it hits the bedroom, where it is then all dumped on one individual. That's just contrary to the whole point of sharing everything and NFP seeks to address that issue.

Like I said, call me naive because I think that's a pile of bullsh!t.

Does asking "Does that feel good, Baby?" count???

Well, John, I hope it works out for you. Your good heart is in the right place anyway. But mother nature is so unpredictable that I'd be thinking about a few baby names if I were you.

Sex

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