Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

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Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
Review Index

Format : Year, Title, Page the review can be found

Color Guide

Blue for Second Review
Red for Third Review
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"Money won is twice as sweet as money earned."



Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
best of's - 17, 46


1931

M (52)

1937

Grand Illusion (46)

1948

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (50)



1950

Rashomon (7)


1954

Seven Samurai (6)
Dial M for Murder (53)

1957

12 Angry Men (21)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (47)
Paths of Glory (51)

1959

North by Northwest (23)


1960

Psycho (1)

1961

Yojimbo (35)

1962

Lawrence of Arabia (51)

1963

8 1/2 (50)

1964

Dr. Strangelove (48)


1966

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (1)

1967

Bonnie and Clyde (52)


1968

2001 : A Space Odyssey (3)
2001 : A Space Odyssey (51)

1969

The Wild Bunch (35)

1971

A Clockwork Orange (4)

1972

The Godfather (3)

1974

Chinatown (13)
The Godfather : Part II (39)

1975

Jaws (48)


1976

Taxi Driver (1)


1977

Star Wars (5)
Star Wars (37)

1978

Dawn of the Dead (40)

1980

Friday the 13th (10)
The Shining (50)

1981

Raiders of the Lost Ark (16)
Escape from New York (44)
Das Boot (49)


1982

The King of Comedy (6)
Blade Runner : The Final Cut (13)
The Thing (40)
E.T. (41)


1984

Beverly Hills Cop (2)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (9)
Ghostbusters (9)
Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (15)
Blood Simple (24)

1985

Ran (28)
After Hours (38)

1986

Blue Velvet (28)


1987

Robocop (3)
Evil Dead II (30)

1988

Rain Man (44)
Akira (49)


1989

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (16)
Batman (21)
Do the Right Thing (48)



1990

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (6)
Miller's Crossing (7)
Goodfellas (9)
Boiling Point (37)


1991

Boyz in the Hood (9)
Delicatessen (11)
Slacker (16)
A Scene at the Sea (38)
Cape Fear (40)

1992

Reservoir Dogs (7)
Army of Darkness (32)
Porco Rosso (52)

1993

Dazed and Confused (9)
Sonatine (30)
Schnidler's List (37)
Short Cuts (51)

1994

Pulp Fiction (23)
Leon (26)

1995

Die Hard : With a Vengeance (1)
Heat (28)
Se7en (34)
12 Monkeys (35)
The Usual Suspects (39)


1996

Hard Eight (29)
Fargo (5)
Kids Return (38)
Scream (40)


1997

Boogie Nights (2)
Face Off (3)
Donnie Brasco (9)
Princess Mononoke (22)
Princess Mononoke (53)


1998

The Big Lebowksi (5)

1999

Fight Club (5)
Magnolia (19)
Kikujiro (20)
American Beauty (20)
Star Wars Episode I : The Phantom Menace (35)


2000

O Brother Where Art Thou (4)
Brother (19)
Almost Famous (47)

2001

Ocean's Eleven (5)
Lord of the Rings : Fellowship of the Ring (9)


2002

City of God (2)
Spiderman (5)
Jackass : The Movie (5)
About Shcmidt (6)
Adaptation (20)
Punch Drunk Love (29)
Star Wars Episode II : Attack of the Clones (36)
Adaptation (37)
Equilibrium (43)
Insomnia (49)

2003

Zatoichi The Blind Swordsman (21)
Overnight (25)
Mystic River (38)
The Matrix Reloaded (45)
Kill Bill Volume 1 (52)


2004

Spiderman 2 (5)
Ocean's Twelve (8)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (13)
Collateral (29)
The Incredibles (42)

2005

The Constant Gardener (10)
Takeshis (20)
A History of Violence (32)
Sin City
Star Wars Episode III : Revenge of the Sith (36)
Batman Begins (38)
Land of the Dead (41)

2006

Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny (3)
The Science of Sleep (18)
Jonestown : The Life and Death of People's Temple (27)
Casino Royale (27)
Clerks 2 (43)
The Prestige (46)

2007

Hairspray (1)
Spiderman 3 (1)
American Gangster (1)
Hot Fuzz (1)
Darjeeling Limited (2)
Planet Terror (2)
Black Snake Moan (2)
Zodiac (2)
300 (2)
The Hoax (2)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force : Film for Theatres for DVD (2)
Knocked Up (2)
Evan Almighty (2)
Transformers (2)
The Simpsons Movie (2)
Rush Hour 3 (2)
Superbad (3)
The King of Kong : A Fistfull of Quarters (3)
Kung Fu Hustle (3)
Ratatouille (3)
Bee Movie (4)
No Country for Old Men (4)
Meet the Robinsons (6)
Live Free or Die Hard (7)
I Am Legend (9)
Southland Tales (9)
Sweeney Todd (10)
Juno (11)
There Will Be Blood (17)
Cloverfield (17)
Glory to the Filmmaker (19)
Sunshine (19)
No Country for Old Men (24)
Michael Clayton (24)
Into the Wild (25)
The Mist (27)
Water Lilies (29)
Lars and the Real Girl (29)
Shanghai Kiss (31)
Zodiac (33)
Michael Clayton (37)
Sunshine (41)
Juno (44)
The Bourne Ultimatum (47)

2008

Be Kind Rewind (23)
Iron Man (29)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (30)
Wall-E (32)
Kung Fu Panda (33)
The Dark Knight (33)
Tropic Thunder (35)
Burn After Reading (36)
Synecdoche New York (41)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (44)
The Wrestler (45)
Gomorra (47)
Choke (48)
Flash of Genius (50)
Let the Right One In (51)
Role Models (52)
Zack and Miri Make a Porno (53)


2009

Watchmen (50)
Watchmen (50)
Anvil ! (53)
Tyson (53)
Star Trek (54)
Three Monkeys (54)
Revanche (54)
Ponyo on a Cliff by the Sea (54)
Up (54)
Drag Me to Hell (54)
Public Enemies (54)
Moon (54)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (54)
Funny People (55)
District 9 (55)
Inglourious Basterds (55)
Where the Wild Things Are (55)
The Men Who Stare at Goats (55)
The Lovely Bones (55)
The Road (55)



Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
American Gangster (1 viewing)



Plot : The movie follows two characters - Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) an assistant to long time crime boss - who passes away at the beginning of the movie . He takes his boss's place - and starts dealing drugs straight out of Vietnam for great results.

Second - Richie Roberts (Russel Crowe) one of the very few cops who wasn't corrupt. After turning down lots of dirty money he is given is own detection group aimed at taking down narcotics.

Story : The story of this movie is executed masterfully , as you connect with the characters - the events bounce from Frank to Richie constantly making the story extremely exciting with no dull points ever. I really can't say there was a part of the movie that wasn't important , and it's the little details - like the brand name of the drugs , the women being naked so they couldn't steal drugs , and even the clothes the characters wear : all important to the movie.

Visuals : Even though the movie is 3 hours long , it always maintains it's high quality visuals. All the places the movie takes place in are actually on location and it makes a huge difference. For example , you see the drug-house (apartment room) for the whole movie - but then toward the end you see the entire building the apartment was in and they go in fluently - which you rarely see in a film. Also , the action looks and feels intense : probably the most brutal gangster movie ever.

Synopsis : One of my favorite's , it's up there with The Godfather , Goodfellas , and The Departed for the gangster genre which apparently is one of my favorites with 4 great films like this. Also , I don't remember seeing the scene in the trailer where he drops a gun.




Spiderman 3 (2 viewings)



Plot : With some things solved in spiderman 2 there was much left open for the third (and final?) installment.

Story : A new enemy is introduced Sandman and Peter Parker's photo rival Eddie Brock (who later becomes Venom) also keep the story interesting. But , the majority of the movie focuses on Peter Parker , Mary Jane , and Harry Osbourn as their friendship goes through problems resulting in Peter Parker finding a new black spiderman suit - which seemingly gives him more power , but makes him more aggresive and full of himself. Sandman's character isn't as one sided as the past characters either - he has a dieing daughter and robs places for money to cure her. Overall , this is one of the fastest paced stories and tons of fun to watch unfold.

Visuals : The action scenes are some of the best of any movie - with extensive use of CGI basicly the whole movie. Whole stories of buildings are knocked out with tiny objects flying out of them - spiderman jumps through another building and flies out the window - and sandman is one of the most detalied CGI characters ever.

Sypnosis : The spiderman series are easily the best superhero movies , they put movies like Batman and Superman to shame. This third one though is my favorite of the three.


The Good , The Bad , and the Ugly (1 viewing)



The Plot : There really is no plot to this movie , i could just tell you the tagline "For three men the civil war wasn't hell. It was practice"

The Story : Follows two characters Blondie - The Good (Clint Eastwood) and Tuco - The Ugly (Eli Wallach). They make money with each other by Blondie taking Tuco into cities where he is wanted as a bounty - then blondie shoots him down from his hanging before they kill him. Eventually , they split up and Blondie takes Tuco's share - so he then Tuco gets his revenge on blondie. The story just keeps adding in twists and turns untill it becomes about a treasure that is buried in a grave - Blondie knows one half of where it is and Tuco the other. Angel Eyes - The Bad (Lee Van Cleef) also tries to get in on the treasure. Although the story has lots of fresh ideas it unfolds slowly with lots of pointless scenes that drag on way too long.

Visuals : Great for it's time , but compared to today's standards they don't look "that" great. Although some scenes have stayed amazing looking (espicially the long shots - that have only been rivaled by Children of Men). The action scenes and shooting though are still great and the epic civil war battle scene are pretty amazing.

Soundtrack : The classic score of this movie is one of the best things about it , there's no doubt you will have heard these songs even if you didn't see the movie.

Sypnosis : This movie could have been 30 to 40 minutes shorter cutting out the unnecesary parts - but it has it's moments.




Spidey 3 beats The Good The Bad and the Ugly by 2?! Interesting. I love both but would put The Good atleast 1 more than S3.

nice reviews though, keep em comin
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Slow/quick.....................................good lord....nm heh
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“The gladdest moment in human life, methinks, is a departure into unknown lands.” – Sir Richard Burton



I would like an explanation of what qualifies as a "pointless scene". Also, how can a movie have no plot, and is full of twists and turns at the same time?



Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
I would like an explanation of what qualifies as a "pointless scene". Also, how can a movie have no plot, and is full of twists and turns at the same time?
Isn't the plot of the movie what it's gona be about for the whole film. It's never set in stone untill the middle of the movie .

Pointless scenes are all determined by their length . I remember a really long train shot in the movie and you can't try and tell me that the pacing in good bad ugly wasn't really bad at times



Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
Hairspray (1 viewing)



Plot : Tracy and Pennie's entire lives seem to revolve around one T.V show where kids just sing and dance the whole time. One day Tracy gets on the show and then everything goes crazy.

Story : Takes place during the apparently really racist early 60's , where the best thing in the world is the Corny Collins show - where Tracy makes her mark as a star by singing and dancing. Though the manager of the show despises her for being fat and also for not being racist - as the show goes through changes the manager's schemes become more dangerous. Meanwhile the other characters like Penny (Amanda Bynes) and her parents (Christopher Walken and John Travolta) have their own problems of shyness and jeulousy. The story eventually gives out and becomes about racism over it's characters - which is a shame since there is so much character devlopement.

Music : Most of the song's story twists occur during the musical numbers. Lots of the songs sound different than each other but there are a couple barley creative and energetic songs in it (a problem Dreamgirls suffered from).

Visuals : Even though this movie is rated PG it is busting at the seams with sex. The main character performs many dance moves where even in the characters in the movie say are "extreme" , plus there's lots of small details you'll notice right away that sex was intended to be part of the entertainment here.

Sypnosis : Although for the most part i hate musicals (aside from South Park). This was suprisingly good.




Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
Taxi Driver (2 viewings)



The Plot : Lonely taxi driver Travis Bickle (Robert Deniro) looks for a friend in an isolated existance.

The Story : I can relate with the main character a lot - so some of the movies themes are quite powerfull to me. Robert Deniro is a lonely guy who can't get to sleep so he takes up a job as a taxi driver (apparently for conversation with people). But , he never connects with people or can find any friends so he takes power into his hands by other means.

Visuals : There are some really cool shots of the taxi and streets. Though the visuals do feel dated - aside from the big scale scenes (like the voting campaign office).

Sypnosis : Though there are some great scenes (espicially Martin Scorsese's cameo) , but the detachment from Robert Deniro's character is pretty signifigant - you never really get to know him other than he's lonely : plus it ends out of nowhere.




Bright light. Bright light. Uh oh.
That's a good start of a review there. Now, if you go into more detail about what you think makes Travis tick, or if you see some connection between the older and younger women he tries to save, then you should try to develop that. Also, when you talk about the ending, be more specific as far as what you were expecting and what you thought was missing. Maybe you were looking for a tidier, more traditional ending, so it crossed you up. Personally, I hated the ending of Taxi Driver when I first watched it (twice) 31 years ago, but after having rewatched it several times, I'm letting go (a bit) of my old hangups about it.

Anyhow, keep pluggin' away.
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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page



Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
Die Hard 3 : With a Vengance (1 viewing)



The Plot : John McClain (Bruce Willis) has taken a turn for the worst , he's drinking heavily and his wife seems to have finally left him. But , he's instantly pulled back into the hardcore action scene when a physcopath starts blowing up buildings.

The Story : The characters in this die hard are probably the weaker than the ones in Die Hard 2. You just don't grow to love them like the original . What starts out as a game of as a game of chase turns into another robbery - and it goes downhill from there. Also , throughout the whole movie John McClain teams up with super racist Zeus Carver (Samuel Jackson).

Action : The first Die Hard is one of the best action movies , due to it's amazing cinemetography for it's action scenes. This one's action really is lacking.

Visuals : Athough there are few really good visuals - it can't even compare the originals amazing non-stop eye candy. But I gota say I love how the characters look all messed up toward the end.

Sypnosis : Pretty good action movie , but you won't find yourself watching it again and again like the original.




Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
Up-coming Reviews (with most recent view scores = may change during next viewing)
----------------------
Psycho (viewed already)
Ratatouille (going to be viewed for second time)

Godfather (going to be viewed for third time)

City of God (3rd time as well)

2001 : A Space Odysee (getting from blockbuster - 2nd view)

Face Off (getting from blockbuster - 2nd view)

Robocop (getting from blockbuster - 2nd view)



Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
Psycho (1 viewing) [spoiler alert]



Plot : Marion Crane who is ready to leave her normal life steals $40,000 to runaway with her lover

Story : The first half of the story focuses on the Marion as she must controll her own fear of getting caught with the money. On her way to her boyfriend she checks into the Bates Motel where she is murdered out of nowhere and the movie becomes more of a mystery. The owner of the bates motel supposdly lives with his mother in a house right next to it. His mother is apparently "ill" and she is the one who killed Marion. As more people come to investigate the motel the mother continues to kill more people.

Pacing : For the most part of the film it is paced really great , but the scene where Norman (motel owner) gets rid of the evidence is really pointless and could have been taken down to about a minute.

How Scary : There aren't really moments that shock you right away - it's just the entire theme of the movie and the eerieness that scares you long after the movie is over.

Visuals : The Bates Motel really comes to life , although it actually is a movie set - I thought it was on location filming. Apart from that this movie dosen't opack a very big punch in this area : except for the shower scene.

WARNING: "Psycho" spoilers below
Twist and Ending : For me it was pretty obvious that Norman was assuming the identity of his mother. But , the ending is one of the dumbest parts of the movie where the pschiotrist explains the whole thing. As for the exact ending - well that was defintly the scariest part of the whole movie.

Sypnosis : Although the story is really great for the most part - I didn't like this movie simply because it haunts you. I would say it is defintly the best horror film I have ever seen though.

My Personal Rating (I don't like horror movies)


Rating as a Horror Movie



Nice to meat you. If you know what i'm saying.
Hot Fuzz (9+ viewings)



The Plot : Sort of similar to Edgar Wright's first film Shaun of the Dead as to where that was a parody of horror movies - this is a parody of action movies. Although hot fuzz is alot more original and more of totally seperate idea than Shaun of the Dead.

The Story : Big city cop Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is transfered to a low populated city out in the country for excelling too much in his police work. But not everything is peacefull in country when it turns into a mystery to find a mysterious person killing people. Although the movie has it's serious moments - it always remains light-hearted and hillarious.

The Action : This is without a doubt the best action you will ever see in a film. Even though it parodys tons of action movies with it's action - none of the films it actually parodies could come close to compare to the excitement and visually stunning action this movie packs.

Visuals : With Edgar Wright as director there's no suprise that this film contains some of the best visuals of any movie. Scene after scene the visual quality is always set at a very high standard.

Sypnosis : If I had to pick only one film to watch for the rest of my life - this would be it.




I went ahead and added spoiler tags to your post; it's a lot better than just putting a notice at the top. I have to address, something, though...

Sypnosis : Although the story is really great for the most part - I didn't like this movie simply because it haunts you.
Isn't that what horror films are supposed to do?

I would say it is defintly the best horror film I have ever seen though.

It's the "best horror film [you've] ever seen" and it only gets 2 stars?
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Bright light. Bright light. Uh oh.
There's something else which I think needs clarification. Is this the original Alfred Hitchcock Psycho? No actors or director are mentioned in the review, and your photo is in color, so, although I'm assuming it's the B&W classic, it could be the color remake.



I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
But , the ending is one of the dumbest parts of the movie where the pschiotrist explains the whole thing.
Yeah, I thought that too. Other than that, though, top film.



I am enjoying these reviews much better than your fisrt lot thanks Meatface
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