Taz Goes to the Cinema 2020

Super Mario Bros Movie


What a terrible movie! Devoid of anything even remotely redeeming. The only real surprise of this was that anyone actually admitted to writing this garbage. I have no idea about the video game but as a movie it's awful. The sad thing is, after the success this has had at the BO, expect more to skew this way. Illumination Studios are fast becoming my personl nemisis... First the Minions, now this. Uggh. Avoid.



The Unexpected Pilgrimage of Harold Fry


An elderly man goes on a 500 mile walk to visit a long lost friend, with the aim of inspiring hope to keep her wanting to live, who is dying with terminal cancer. Jim Broadbent turns in another careworn character performance that he has become so synonymous with in recent times. Solid enough, although not sure I'd revisit it any time soon.



Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves


This was actually a lot of fun. Bit of a throwback to fantasy adventure flicks of days gone by. I only ever played DnD once about 30years ago, but only vague memories, and quite different from the DnD movie of about 20yrs ago. It's a shame that more people didn't go to see this (and instead went to Mario Bro, uggh) as I doubt will get to see any more of these (and dread the thought of more Mario Bros-esque level). Oh, and special mention to the AD writing, who actually made a few jokes added into the AD as part of the descriptions, rather than just straight descriptions, that made it stand out. Wasnt loads, but just a couple, which added to the overall enjoyment, and wouldnt mind a few other movies take a page out of that book.

Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol 3

Good way to go out on. Emotional at times, not always for the right reasons. Unlike most of the MCU (have caught most at least once), the GOTG movies are one that I have invested in and therefore have sat through multiple times. So all things considered can't complain how this branch of the MCU is signing off.

That said, here in the UK this is rated 12A, but really it should be a 15. (Not sure how that equates in USA etc, but sure you can figure for yourselves, lol). So be aware if planning on watching with kids, because there are more than a few scenes that could be pretty upsetting for younger viewers or those easily disturbed.

Watched GOTG3 last night with my daughter and you're right...they earned the rating on this one (she cried multiple times after loving the first two). We both enjoyed it overall though.

The Laureate

Biopic about the writer Robert Graves and the throuple that he was in with his wife, Nancy and American poet Laura Riding. My knowledge of Graves' work and life extended to high school days of reading war poems, his war memoirs, Goodbye to All That, and then watching (and subsequently reading) I Claudius and Claudius the God, and apart from the identifiable PTSD knew none of the details of this period of his life. So on that front it was an eye opener, especially on the influence that Riding had, on Graves in particular but the wider British literary scene of the period, bot positive and negatively. This is pretty well acted across the board, but there was no AD track to accompany the film so was left a little uncertain in parts.


Evil Dead Rise

Splatter gore fest, if that is your thing, then it is right here, with endless buckets of blood. For mine, didn't do a great deal for me, as the descriptions perhaps partly undersold and the sheer excessiveness of the gore just became incidental in the AD track, all I kept thinking was ow stupid these characters all are.


Love Again

Never have I had to resist the urge to throw something at the screen (don't worry, I didn't, lol) as in this eyeroll inducing cringefest of this extra, extra, extra cheeeeeeeeeeesssssy Celine Dion vanity project. A romcom at the heart should have romantic leads that have at least some chemistry and charisma and that you want to see them get together, but both (Priyanka Chopra & Sam Hueghan) are lacking here, not to mention that the lack of growth... unless it is that one only seems to grow from being a skeptic of Celine Dion to a fanboy and a kiss ass.



As a concept it may've had some merit originally for a romcom, but one can't help but think that once Dion's people got a hold of this project it skewed it very intentionally in the direction it ended up, and that is poorly written and poorly delivered mess and serves to make the pair, even at the very end, purely unsympathetic, both for the characters individually and as well as a couple.


Also...



Also sat through Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves again, to see if this held up on a repeat viewing and indeed it does. Undoubtedly the most out and out fun to just go along for the ride I've had at the cinema so far in 2023, both credit for the movie itself and for the AD that accompanied it.

Book Club: Next Chapter


Admittedly am not exactly the target audience for this, it was ok. Vaguely remembered the first. A lot of the 'jokes' faied to land and by far too cheesy for me, but there were a few laughs I got out of it, and in comparision to the other romantic comedy that is out atm 'Love Again'. would gladly sit through this again over that pile of crap, but that is really not saying much :/



Hypnotic


So will need to sit through this again, due to the AD not working, but I did pick the twist pretty early on here. Not exactly Robert Rodriguez or Ben Affleck's best work, it felt in a way like a revisiting of Paycheck (although much preferred that movie to this new one). Will need to sit through with the benefit of AD before making proper assessment but wasn;t wow'd by any of this.



***


Have also sat through Gaurdians of the Galaxy 3, Missing and Dungeons & Dragons again. All of which still hold up to repeat sit-throughs. I think have mentioned this before, but special mention for the AD track for Dungeons & Dragons again, as the intrack jokes really do add to the fun and wolud like a few more to do this also.

Fast X


USD$340M. That's what this film cost to make, before advertizing. I would be amazed if more than 0.01% of that went to writing this, because like pretty much every other entry in this franchise, it is entirely forgettable nonsense. Just because there are more explosions does not quate to making a better movie - and an incomplete one at that. Quite the contrary, in fact Yawningly boring.



Beau is Afraid


Not what I was expecting from Ari Aster. Quite different from Hereditary or Midsommer in this psychological drama of a character study. When Joaquin Phoenix career is said and done there are no shortage of characters that will be remembered for, but the world in which Beau exists is certainly a surreal one. Everything is thrown in here, from time travel to horror, to back comedy to gaslighting, to the proverbial kitchen sink. As for the final act, couldn't help but feel like Aster had been listening/watching Alan Parker's Pink Floyd: The Wall for inspiration.

Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret

I remember we had to do this as a class reading when was in school, but being a 11 or 12yo boy at the time, to say the least half the class did not take it at all seriously or really payed close attention. Fast forward 35+ years to today and am still clearly not the target audience for this. That all said, this movie is pretty well written/adapted, the cast, from the youngsters (lead by Abby Ryder Fortson in the titular role) to veterans such as Kathy Bates pretty much all deliver across the board and is all things considered a pretty good coming-of-age film. Really am surprised that it has taken so long for this to be made.


The Machine

Strange but true? Tall tales and true? Or simply, as Hemmingway phrased it, that sometimes truth is stranger than fiction? Based on the true(?) story of Bert Kreisher's encounter with the Russian mafia as a student in the mid-1990's and riffs on that, while set in the present now, the better part of 30years after, when he and his father (Mark Hamill) are taken to Russia to help track down a watch that was stolen during his original encounters.

It should be said that not knowing this guy/this story/his stand up work did mean it took time for me to get into all of this. But once I did, It's actually a lot of fun in places. Its fast paced and although takes a while to get into it's groove, is increasingly funny and even unexpectedly disarming once or twice as it goes on as well as having a killer 90's soundtrack. That said, I can also get why there will be a lot of those just can't and can understand why - guess it all depends on if you can suspend disbelief and just buy in and go along for the ride.

The Little Mermaid

Like so much in Hollywood, short of originality, comes another unnecessary live action/computer animation remake of animated property that didn’t really do much to try and distinguish from that, nor do the new songs really add much. They aren’t bad songs, even if none at the level of Under the Sea or Kiss the Girl, but there isn’t a new dimension added etc to the story, which is fine, but again questions why bother with this new version if you’ve had kids/seen the old one. If there is silver lining it’s that Haile Bailey is pretty good as Ariel and can def sing, while Daveed Diggs voicework as Sebastian pretty much steals the show.


Sisu

An old commando veteran come gold prospector takes on an entire company of Nazi death squad troops set in Finland late in WWII. There is some serious badassness going on here, even if sometimes stretches incredulity. Would gladly sit through this again over any of the John Wicks. At 80-odd min it is pretty well paced, gets in and gets out and definitely worth checking out.

The Boogieman

Admittedly I have an odd disconnect with Stephen King adaptations, in that I prefer his non-horror tales (with the exception of IT or Gerald’s Game) such as 11.22.63, Stand By Me, Shawshank and even Running Man over the likes of Pet Semetary, Salem’s Lot or either versions of Firestarter, to name but a few. And so it is with this. Is this supposed to be a paranormal thriller in horror dressing or vice versa? Because it really doesn’t know which it is, so how is the audience? And by trying to straddle the line between it kind of fails at both.

Relying on the AD, I can’t comment about the creatures design, but it is a less gory version of the recent Evil Dead Rises - not that I was particularly impressed with that one either, and tbh if you switched titles, who would know, as the similarities are so self evident? Just comes off as kind of generic.

*****

Also sat through Sisu again - a real throwback, with the feel of a spaghetti western, this one man WWII actioner is well worth the encore. As an aside (and for any celeb trainspotters out there) the screening I was at for this encore, Steve Coogan and the novelist Ian Rankin were there also.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts


Uggh. Honestly, why does it take 5 people to wriite what is essentially a 2hr toy advertisement with a McGuffin thrown in the middle. The Hasbro Cinematic Universe is on the with the GI Joe tie in that literally noone was begging for teased for whatever the next installment is... Throw in Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy and the rest of the MLP gang... may as well... In for a penny, in for a pound.


Chavalier


A biographical film about a long overlooked composer (among other things), Joseph Bologne, aka Chevalier de Saint-Georges, who was a freedman of colour in Pre-Revolutionary France. The details of his life are compressed into a short period set right before the Revolution for dramatic purposes for the movie, when in reality, lets just say some liberties have been taken, but his is a story that deserves to be more widely known, and despite the compressed nature, this movie does an adequate job in serving that purpose, relying on a strong central performance by Kelvin Harrison Jr.


Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse


That's 2/2 for the Spider-Miles, Spider-Gwen Spiderverse movies over the Tom Holland Peter Parker 'Home' trilogy. Not that those are bad movies persay, I can't comment re the animation, but like anything so much starts with good writing, good story, good characters, and this has all of these, not to mention knows how to do a multiverse properly, something that the MCU has continiously tried (and underwhelmed or just totally failed at) to emulate since the previous Spider-Miles film was out.


I should also mention it has taken me 3 attempts to sit through this, because of AD in screen not working or AD headset fails, but finally sat through it today and totally worth it.

Greatest Days


Preface this by saying I am clearly not the target audience for this. However, it was a pretty bland, formulaic jukebox musical, based on the songs of 90's boygroup, Take That - only it seems there was clearly some legal issues here, as the group is only ever referred to as 'The Boys'. The premise is simple - a circle of 40-something women reunite 25yrs after their teenage friendship heyday that was built around the obsession with the boyband In question, when theIr teen idols reform it Triggers their own reunion, while also reflecting on theIr youth. The songs didn't do much for me - only recognised the one song, but this didn't Inspire any sort of desire to deepdive into the works.

No Hard Feelings

Can't say I really liked this movie all that much. For a sexcom it fails to take off, the tone is that of a romcom when it's clearly not that and as a comedy of virtually any description it fails to deliver. The thing is, the premise is there, and there is both positive and negative character development for the two leads respectively. 30yo Maddie does most of the growing up ironically and looks to change her future rather than clinging on to the past, compared to character of Percy, by comparison, who by the film's end is still introverted, childish and cringingly awkward, but is now also entitled, petulant and self-centred. But that is just the start. It's inconsistent, in so many ways.

Jennifer Lawrence is the best thing about it but would still only say she was 'as expected' for what the role called for, but with so many flaws elsewhere, from the writing right through to the final end product. The biggest problem is you get the feeling the movie doesn't know what it is trying to be - it had a premise, fit to be that 'American Pie'-esque type, got scared/watered down and tried to skew 'Pretty Woman', and as a result fails at both with it ultimately coming across as all a bit underwhelming, tame, lame, cautious and bland.


The Flash

There are a fair few problems swirling externally around this movie that have and do effect it, not least of which, fair or unfair, is the parallels it draws with another recent superhero movie (Across the Spiderverse) that explores much of the same territory and hits a lot of the same beats, as well as the real life negative attention of the movie's 'star' and comic book movie/multiverse exhaustion. Had the movie been released in 2022 perhaps it would have done better, but this is it's fate.

That said, the movie itself does have it's moments, and I was ok with it being kind of irrelevant fun (apart from the repeated feelings of deja vu - and dont't try to figure out the science/logic of the flash's ability to time travel, lol), the pacing is good and overall it's an ok movie - certainly better than a lot of DC predecessors (Black Adam, Shazam 2, Suicide Squad 2 etc) have been. What might have been, I guess.

Asteroid City


This latest offering sadly follows the recent trend of disappointing and underwhelming film from director Wes Anderson - at least from my perspective. It has a great cast and the quirky premise should've provided more than enough scope to provide opportunity for comedy, but it all too often comes across more irritating than entertaining and really, more smug than anything else. Most irritating of all is, despite having such a great cast to work with, has all of the actors perform so wooden and deliver their lines so sharply staccato but so flat at the same time. All of which is clearly a stylistic choice, but it simply doesn't work, in my opinion. While the film does have it's amusing moments, I won't be bothering with it again.

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken


While I can't comment on the graphic side of it, It's poorly conceived, entirely predictable and badly written. Sadly, it seems that predicatable and terrible writing does not preclude a movie from making a lot of money, but the differences between something like the Mario Bros movie and this, is that Mario Bros knows it's audience while this movie seemingly doesn't. Little kids are not that interested in high school proms, and yet it is written as though that is who this has been written for. A whole lotta meh.



Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny


Speaking of poor writing... poor Indy. The character deserved so much better than this. Having sunk $325m into making this, oh dear. Money that could've been far better spent perhaps in a reboot to revitalize rather than a one last adventure, this was it. Crystal Skull was poor and this just compoounds upon that. There are flashes of the old kind of adventure, but those are far too few and far between, while trying to rude on nostalgia, but it never hits. Seriously, you could play 'wheel of fortune' of faults in this movie and have no lack of material to ellaborate on. This is a series that asks the audience to suspend disbelief just that little bit - how anyone thought any of this would be a good idea really is the entirely beyond belief.

Elemental


Sadly underwelming entry from Pixar - a studio that for such a long time anticipated each new release has really seemed to hit a bit of a wall. The story is pretty straight forward and transparent and it plays out very predictably. There is nothing really objectionable to anything, but nothing partiicularly thought provoking either. I doubt I'll bother revisiting this again any time in soon, if at all.



Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning - Part I


Ok, have to give it to the team behind this movie, they had me entertained here. Good solid popcorn fare, with nice slice of intrigue and tension, with genuinely thrilling action sequences - which is saying something for me, even though am relying on audio description, genuinely had me sitting on the proverbial edge of my seat at times. Can't say I've ever really been a Tom Cruise fan, but not letting that get in the way of recognizing this. MI:Fallout was probably the best action movie of 2018 and considering everything that has been served up this year so far, this is similiarly shaping up as the one to beat in 2023, in my mind at least these recent MI's have become everything that the Daniel Craig 007 era Bond's aspired to be.

Insideous: Red Door

Two caveats to this. Firstly, have never sat through any of the previous installments in this franchise and secondly, the screening I attended did not have audio description available at the time. So, granted my opinion of this could be way off the mark or could change if I ever bother sitting through it again with aid the AD etc.

That said, to mine it seemed a pretty tame supernatural horror, within the formula - talk, talk, walk, walk, jump scare! And repeat. On top of which seemed predicatable when it all was coming. No idea about how horrific the scares/ghosts/poltergeists is, but the music cues seemed typical, and as the principle characters all survived to the end of the movie, more or less seemingly intact, was there any real threat? idk. Some people I was with liked it, but they can see - one of whom have seen a couple of these before - but they are in all honesty are the type that say that the like everything they go to see, so there is that. Again, personally this was less than ideal experience to craft a truly informed opinion, so putting a big asterisk next to this one.

Been a bit of a catch up post on this blog. Have caught all of these over the past couple of weeks, some multiple times (depending oin who with etc)



Barbie

Have sat through this a couple of times now. The first time admittedly, the ending confused me but the sencond sit through cleared that up. I can only imagine the sheer number of parents who have had to answer some awkward questions from wee girls concerning some of the narrative, considering how heavily the 'patriarchy' was being beaten over the head with.


But there is more to it than just that. From my daughter's perspectie, she felti it said a lot about mothers and daughters relationships and while I can appreciate that message as an outsider to that dynamic, to hear she felt it resonated (and as it happens she and my ex went to this also and reportedly felt the same) have to respect it for that.


Can only imagine the set design/art direction, bur when it has such a staple of generations to work with from when I could see and envisage it's noit that hard a reach. The performances were pretty good, and there were some good laughs along the way, but overall, felt it was pretty heavy handed in the writing and direction compared to Gerwig's Ladybird or adaptation of Little Women, both of which I actually preferred to this. But again, I know I'm not the target audience for this and there is a very clear demographic that it has seriously resonated with in a way neither of those previous did, and more power to Margot Robbie and Greta Gerwig for seizing upon that.


Oppenheimer

So I need to preface this by saying it took me 3 times sitting through this to make this assessment. Simply on the initial screening, even with the aid of AD it was a bit hard to follwo, because of the jumps forward and back in time and to the various hearings etc. When relying on AD this is difficult to track and given how wordy this movie is, trying to follow these linear moves as well as take the information in was a lot. The second time the AD died about 2/3's of the way through and did attemot anothetr time but the AD was not working at all in that screen, so returned again at a screen that had AD, to fill in blanks etc that the previous experiences had left.

For what it is, a very talky biopic, I cannot imagine why there was such insistence from Nolan that people were drawm to sit through this in IMAX (FTR I didn't for obvious reasons), but I can't imagine from the descriptions that the visuals demanded the need for that. But that being said, I did get caught up in the cadence of the drama in the final act especially, and tthere are a number if reakky strong performances, not least of which is Cillian Murphy at the heart of it. In a way is a interesting companion piece for Dunkirk, the amping up of the tension, pressure and drama and curious if the end goal here is a Nolan WWII trilogy of sorts? I wonder...


Joyride

A group of Asian-American friends travel to China and subsequently South Korea, as one of them is seeking out their natural born parents after having been adopted and raised in America. is the simple enough premise, and the misadventures that follow. Has some fun sequences and a coupl of running gags (I taut I taw a puddy tat!), but admittedly I did struggle a little with this, as it was at the end of a long day and had sat through it immediately following Oppenheimer (the first time), so was somewhat drained mentally, so really would need to sit through it again to give it a proper assessment.


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Mutant Mayhem

Another take on the TMNT origin story, had a few laughs but don't know if I'd go out of my way to sit through this again but it did tap into some fun memories and I am lead to believe the animation is quite good, but again I can't comment on this.


Gran Turismo

Apparently based on a true story of a gamer turned professional car racer. How much of it is true and how much it is 'inspired by'... is always going to be a question - even if it was all too predicatable and never really felt the tension or uncertainty. Again, I know I'm not really the target audience for this but it was ok for what it was, without being anything special nor anything thjat felt particularly noteworthy.


The Meg 2 - The Trench

This was just utter garbage. The first was good popcorn fun. No need to apply too much logic just enjoy the ride. This one in comparison is figuratively where it has jumped the shark (pardon the pun) to being just terrible. If the combined worst of the Jaws sequels and the combined worst of all the Jurassic Park/World sequels put their efforts together they would still struggle to contrive the utter stupidity of this pile of crap. And to add insult to injury, had to pay an uplift to sit through this in 4DX. The story and writing is cringingly terrible, the logic just doesnt een begin to make any sense even at a stretch and to say the least there is an enormous chasm of the gap that needs to be to suspend disbelief here. Not even Jason Statham doing Jason Statham things can retrieve this one. IMO has displaced Mario Bros. as a contender for worst of the year, alongside Love Again. Garbage.




Haunted Mansion

A really odd movie to be here and really just felt odd being at the cinema for this movie. Would've been a much better fit to release around Halloween to capture the family friendly tone to this supernatural/paranormal flick. I guess if Disney could turn Pirates of the Carribean from a ride to a movie franchise, why not Haunted Mansion? :/ It's... ok... without being anything all that special. Can't comment on the visuals but only a few of the jokes seemed to land, even with the target audience (of which is not me) was in attendance. Really just feels like badly scheduled release has left this DOA.


Scrapper

Small budget debut film by Charlotte Regan, about a 12y.o girl who has recently lost her mum - whom she believes to be her only living relative, and has been surviving alone on her wits, street savvy, graft and theft, along with the support of her sole friend and nearby neighbour. Until her estranged father, whom she has never known, returns and the two must put aside skepticism and mistrust to forge a new relationship. This dramedy has some touching moments, some funny ones. Not only a new director on the scene but the 2 youngsters, Lola Campbell & Alin Uzin are both pretty good, ably supported by Harris Dickenson. Worth a watch.

Strays


There are movies that I've sat through where I am glad that I am blind. Based on the AD alone was indicative enough of this and have no desire to see a group of dogs getting off on peeing on each other or having a dog brick in a guy's mouth. Uggh. There were a couple of laughs but largely, that is the level that this 'talking dog pic with adult humour' is pitched at. The screening I was at had at least a dozen walk out and not return. Sums it up, really.



Blue Beetle


It's a pity that this is a movie that nobody wanted and as a result seems that noone much is going to it, as it's not actually all that bad a movie. As it happens, for all of the 10 Fast & Furious movies going on about family, there was more genuine family in this one more than all of those 10 combined. It's just a shame like I said, it's in a movie noone asked for, noone is interested in and noone much is going to care about or will go out of their way to see.



Also did an encore of MI: Dead Reckoning Part I. Am not a Tom Cruise fan, but this is a pretty good movie but it's a shame that they have so badly botched the release here as its clearly bombing out at the BO, but it definitely holds up to repeat sit through, even if I try to forget it's Tom Cruise and maybe it's James Bond instead, lol.

The Blackening


In fairness, I am going to have to sit through this again, as the AD was not working, so the long stretches of typical horror movie tropes (eerie music, creaking doors etc) not really sure whats going on. That said there are a few laughts to be had along the way in this horror comedy. It's not going to win any awards for acting or writing or anything, but it is very much tongue in cheek in what it is doing, hitting some of the beats re horror & other tropes and seemed to have the others in the cinema with the giggle here and there with the odd scare thrown in (could feel the row of seats around me jolt back once or twice from other people while i was oblivious, lol). Again didn't get all of the jokes, but will need to sit through this again before making any real judgement/assessment.

The Dive


Not a bad predicament drama/thriller follows in the footsteps of movies such as 127 Hours or last years Fall. Admittedly, I didn't have the benefit of AD in this one, and considering the cast is just the 2 sisters, anytime they are not together I was a little bit of a loss as to what was happening part from the pre-ambled exposition, of what needed to be done etc, so wouldn't mind having the opportunity to revisit this with the aid of thatm but did have some gaps filled in by some other patrons at the films conclusion.



Theatre Camp


Mockumenatry in the footsteps of Best in Show or Spinal Tap, this movie does have a sprinking of laughs along the way, but did not really ever win me over. Comedy seems to be so difficult to get right nowdays and that being said it is better that some recent offerings, such as Strays, but that's not really saying a great deal.


Training Day


This 4K rerelease stands up, although again lack of AD means I was relying on memory from 20-odd years ago, which was probably the last time I sat through this, when it was new release on video, rather than being able to really be in the moment. Denzel & Hawke carry this drama/thriller. To mine, this was yet another case of thgwe right actor winning th eOscar for the wrong movie (Denzel shoud;ve won for Malcolm X, rather than this), but overall, the movie still stands up well enough.



**


Also did an encore of Scrapper.