Thief's Monthly Movie Loot - 2022 Edition

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THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES
(2021, Rianda)
An animated film



"I have no idea what I'm doing!!"

Parenthood has been one of the biggest challenges I've faced in my life. No matter how much you prepare yourself, and how much you think you know what you're doing, the truth is you don't. We're never sure of how things will turn out. And every single day is plagued with the paralyzing fear of doing something that could "ruin" your children's life. We have "no idea what we're doing", and yet we push through whatever we need to. Whether it's teen angst, financial problems, or the machine apocalypse.

The Mitchells vs. the Machines presents us a family that's pretty much going through those struggles and insecurities. Nevermind the machine apocalypse, the core of the film is how this family has to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds, external and internal, to save their lives, yes, but most importantly, their relationships and their bond. They might have "no idea what they're doing", but they're still pushing through.

The focus of the film is on the daughter, Katie (Abbi Jacobson), who frequently clashes with her "old school" father Rick (Danny McBride). Because of this, she's anxious to leave for film school in California. But after a particularly bitter argument, Rick decides to cancel her plane ticket and take the family in a cross-country trip from Michigan to California, in an attempt to have one final chance at bonding. Along for the ride are mother Linda (Maya Rudolph), little brother Aaron (Mike Rianda), and their pet dog, Monchi.

There is a moment after that bitter argument where Rick heads to Katie's room to try to fix things, and yet he backs out unsure of what to do or how to do it. The paralyzing fear of thinking "Am I ruining her life?". Instead, he ends up watching old home videos of them; times when they looked happier and "things were better". An attempt to get some comfort on how they did things before and came through, perhaps to get an idea on how to do things now to come through now. But we can look at our past for guidance, and yet we still have to move towards the future, by ourselves, not necessarily knowing what we're doing... hoping that things will somehow turn out well for our children.

When I was a little kid, I used to think my mom had it all figured out. Raising four children alone, and yet it seemed there wasn't anything she didn't know or couldn't do. But if there's one thing I've realized as I get older, is that we are all essentially "wingin' it" through life. We "have no idea" what we're doing. Not me nor Rick Mitchell, and neither my mother. And although it might sound like a terrifying statement, it's actually reassuring to know that we're all essentially on the same boat, and that we're all pushing through despite having no idea what we're doing. Whether we're struggling with the tantrum of all tantrums, or the machine apocalypse.

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Check out my podcast: The Movie Loot!



January:

A film with the number 1 (One, First, etc.) in its title: The First Wives Club (1996)

The first film from any director you like: Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (2022) (Derek Drymon and Jennifer Kluska)

A film with a title that starts with the letters A or B: Beasts of No Nation (2015)

A film from before 1920: Shoes (1916)

An action or adventure film: Eternals (2021)

An animated film: Ron's Gone Wrong (2021)

Not a great month, if I'm honest. Beasts of No Nation and Shoes were the best of the bunch, though neither fully grabbed me. Eternals was not as bad as some have suggested, but it wasn't great either. The best I can say of the rest is none were truly terrible (though if you've seen one Hotel Transylvania movie, you've seen them all).



I don't think I've seen First Wives Club since theaters. Barely remember it.

I haven't seen any of the others. I've also dodged all of the Hotel Transylvania so far



Tetralogy, now. And he won't dodge 'em forever, if I know kids...



DOWN BY LAW
(1986, Jarmusch)
A film from Jim Jarmusch



"You always makin' big plans for tomorrow. You know why? Because you always f-uckin' up today."

Zack and Jack are, on the surface, very different. One is an unemployed disc-jockey, the other is a down-on-his-luck pimp. Different and yet, they're very similar. Both are struggling to stay afloat, while apparently dangling from troublesome relationships. "Why do you always gotta go fu¢k up your own future?", says Laurette to Zack. "You always f-uckin up today", says Bobbie to Jack. Both their lives messed up and about to be messed up more, maybe?

Down by Law follows these two men, played by Tom Waits and John Lurie, who don't know each other and yet they both end up framed for different crimes and put in the same jail cell. Up on each other's face, their differences constantly come afloat, until a new cellmate comes in the form of Roberto (Roberto Benigni), a friendly Italian tourist that's imprisoned for involuntary manslaughter.

It is Roberto the one who serves as a sort of connection between the quarreling Zack and Jack. His lively demeanor and friendly persona helps bring them together. The film focuses in their interactions as they spend time together in jail, and eventually decide to escape into the Louisiana bayou. Can they put their differences and bickering aside and not fu¢k up today?

This is my first Jim Jarmusch film. I asked on Twitter what film of his should I watch first, and was surprised by how dispersed the votes were across his filmography, which is a good thing. Nevertheless, this is the one that ended up with most votes, recommended by a couple of people I trust, and what a pleasant surprise it was.

Despite a seemingly formulaic premise, Down by Law doesn't abide by the regular tropes of "prison escape" films. There are no flashes, nor bangs. There is no nail-biting escape. What Jarmusch gives us is a laid-back and relaxed look at how the bond between these three different men evolves. He does so with some great, effortless performances by all three leads, some skilfull direction, and a striking black and white cinematography by Robby Müller.

As we see them fight, sing, bond, laugh, escape, run for their lives, fight again, laugh again, we see all three learn to work their differences, while maybe not f-ucking up today or their future. This is the kind of film that you can't help but smile at, one that certainly won't fu¢k up your today.

Grade:



PIRANHA II: THE SPAWNING
(1981, Cameron)
The first film from any director you like



"Oh my God... Allison! Words can't describe the trouble we're in."

This is the warning uttered by one of the characters of this horror film. It could also be what James Cameron said when he found himself at the helm of it. But it could as well be my realization as the film progressed. Because as flawed as the first Piranha might've been, it was never boring. This, on the other hand, is trouble.

Piranha II: The Spawning is set in a Caribbean resort that finds itself in trouble as genetically modified, flying piranhas start attacking. Meanwhile, diving instructor Anne Kimbrough (Tricia O'Neil) and her estranged husband, Steve (Lance Henriksen) do their best to stop them.

The reasoning behind the attack or why were the piranhas genetically modified doesn't matter much. It all serves as an excuse to have more women skinny dipping in dangerous waters, while comically fake piranhas absurdly fly through the air attacking unsuspecting victims.

It has been said that the production of the film was troublesome, with original director Miller Drake being fired as principal photography began. Executive producer Ovidio Assonitis promoted Cameron, who was the special effects director, to director but apparently kept on meddling on the film thus hindering the end result.

Would it have worked better if Assonitis hadn't put Cameron and company through so much trouble? We'll never know. The truth is that the script is mediocre, performances are weak (with only Henriksen coming out mostly unscathed), and the pace is clunky and uneven. The result is a film that's just dull, boring, and mediocre.

Grade:



THE BLOCK ISLAND SOUND
(2020, McManus & McManus)
A film with a title that starts with the letters A or B



"How are you helping them if some of them end up dead?"

The Block Island Sound follows Harry (Chris Sheffield), a fisherman in Block Island that has to deal with some mysterious force that seems to be affecting his father's behavior and then his own. This also creates further issues with the already strained relationship he has with his two sisters (Michaela McManus and Heidi Neidermeyer), which hasn't been the same after the death of their mother.

This is a film I had heard nothing about until a good Twitter friend recommended it to me, and I was surprised by how good it turned out to be. Brothers Kevin and Matthew McManus, who both wrote and directed the film, manage to create a dread-filled atmosphere while maintaining the mystery of what is actually happening. There is also some restraint from their part as they don't budge into a lot of explanations in the end.

Aside from that, the performances from Sheffield and McManus are pretty good. The former, in particular, delivers a performance that feels natural and that makes you believe the struggle he's going through, as well as his gradual psychological and emotional decay. The way he behaves, and the way the plot unfolds keeps you guessing all the time; does he really need help or is there something more going on in this island? You'll have to check it to find out.

Grade:



CAVALCADE
(1933, Lloyd)
The first Best Picture winner you haven't seen



"Everything passes; even time"

Merriam-Webster defines a "cavalcade" as "a procession of riders or carriages". Some people ride through in it, and some people watch as they stay on the side. This can also be said of this early Best Picture winner, which features a "procession" of historic events as we see how some of the characters are affected by them.

Cavalcade opens in the last day of 1899, as we see an upper-class English couple, Robert and Jane Marryot (Clive Brook and Diana Wynyard), celebrate the New Year, along with their two sons and their servants, the Bridges. The film then moves on as we see how the families are affected by events like the Second Boer War, the death of Queen Victoria, and World War I, among others.

I just read a review that labeled Cavalcade as the "worst best picture winner ever", which, to me, is not entirely true, but also not that far from it. Like a true "procession", Cavalcade is full of lulls and gaps of tediousness, with some worthy and well executed moments interspersed through.

The fact that it spans three decades, with most characters only present in one or two acts, also hampers the attachment we might have with any of them. The characters of the children of the Marryots and the Bridges are the ones we might feel more attached to, but again, they just pass through moments of the film. The only characters that remain from start to finish are Robert and Jane, who serve mostly as spectators.

I've been to a few processions myself, but I can't recall any of them being very memorable. Did I have fun at some of them? Sure. But then they pass, and I go back home and forget about them. To a certain extent, that's Cavalcade. Like many processions, it begins, does its thing, and then it passes, and in time, you forget about it.

Grade:



PROFIT & NOTHING BUT!
OR IMPOLITE THOUGHTS ON THE CLASS STRUGGLE

(2001, Peck)
A film from Haiti



"In Haiti, where misery rules on a daily basis, how can we speak about triumphant capitalism? Doesn't mean anything in Haiti."

The country of Haiti was officially established in 1804, after a slave revolt ousted their French colonizers. At that moment, most of its inhabitants were slaves. After the revolution, Haiti became the first independent nation of Latin America and the first country to abolish slavery. Still, the country has had to deal with financial struggles, international isolation, foreign occupations, political instability, and natural disasters.

This is the country where Raoul Peck was born and raised, and where he returned after fleeing the dictatorship of the Duvaliers. This documentary is a snapshot of only a small aspect of Haiti's struggles, and how external interests have had an effect in the country throughout history.

The documentary is not the best in terms of craft and technique, but it does succeed in presenting the harsh reality of Haiti through a collage of interviews, events, and recollections. Most of the "talking heads" presented are engaging, and they manage to shed light on the classism in the country. Unfortunately, it does seem to lack a bit of focus with the main thesis not being necessarily clear.

Being from Puerto Rico, I'm no stranger to Haiti's struggles, and still there is so much that we don't know about it, and obviously so more that could be done. If there is something that the documentary succeeds, is in showing that there are means to help Haiti, but there is no collective will.

Grade:



SAFETY LAST!
(1923, Newmeyer & Taylor)
Freebie



"Young man, don't you know you might fall and get hurt?"

That's the warning that an old lady gives the lead character in this silent comedy, just as he is halfway through climbing the facade of the 12-story building where he works. All because of a case of mistaken identity and his desire to, ahem, climb the "corporate ladder".

Safety Last! follows this young man (Harold Lloyd) after he moves to the city to make some money so he can finally get married to his sweetheart (Mildred Davis). But the road there is full of obstacles and he can't seem to keep himself out of danger; whether it's from his bosses, a surprise visit from his girlfriend, a persistent cop, or the rioting hordes of ladies demanding his service at the store.

As was the custom for the time, one of the main beauties of this film is in its slapstick gags and its many physical stunts. Even though he usually gets mentioned below Chaplin and Keaton, as far as silent film era stars go, Lloyd certainly holds his own against the great ones.

The most notable and iconic bit is Lloyd hanging from the clock, which is impressive. That stunt takes pretty much the last 20 minutes or so, but I like how they make it not feel overlong with the many ways that Lloyd's friend is trying to escape the cop which forces our lead to keep climbing, or the many obstacles that he faces on his way up (doves, the clock, obtrusive onlookers).

However, the film has several other clever and effective stunts and gags and Lloyd sells them well. Sure, the dynamic between the boy and the girl might border on self-interest and selfishness, but some of it can be attributed to the "sign of times". Plus it's meant to be funny! or as funny as falling from a 12-story building and getting hurt can be

Grade:



Finally dropped my first solo episode of the year, Episode 54 of The Movie Loot, in which I share my thoughts on all the films I saw during January.

The Movie Loot 54 - The Mitchells vs. the Machines / January Loot

Trying something a bit different by focusing a bit more on one of the best films I saw last month; this time, The Mitchells vs. the Machines, and then jumping into my quick thoughts on everything else I saw. If anybody listens, hope you like it.

Remember that you can also listen to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and most podcasting platforms.



Forgot to post my summary for JANUARY 2022:

A film with the number 1 (One, First, etc.) in its title: One Week
The first film from any director you like: Piranha II: The Spawning (James Cameron)
The first Best Picture winner you haven't seen (starting with Wings): Cavalcade (1933)
A film with a title that starts with the letters A or B: Ben Hur (1907), The Block Island Sound
A film from the TSPDT 1,000 Greatest Films list whose ranking includes the #1 (i.e. 12, 415, 901): Sherlock, Jr. (#122)
A film from before 1920: The Rough House, The Consequences of Feminism, Pierrette's Escapades
An action or adventure film: Predator 2
An animated film: The Mitchells vs. the Machines
A film from Jim Jarmusch (born January 22): Down by Law
A film from Haiti (Independence Day, January 1): Profit & Nothing But! Or Impolite Thoughts on the Class Struggle

Freebie: Devil, Safety Last!







Interesting month! My favorites were The Mitchells vs. the Machines, and then Down by Law. The Block Island Sound and One Week are also up there.

Least favorite, Piranha II quite easily.



Aaaand here's the loot for FEBRUARY 2022:

A film with the number 2 (Two, Second, etc.) in its title:
A film with a title that starts with the letters C or D:
A film from the TSPDT 1,000 Greatest Films list whose ranking includes the #2 (i.e. 12, 82, 912):
A film from the 1920s:
A sequel:
A comedy film:
A film featuring the name of a couple in its title:
A film with an African-American cast (Black History Month):
A film from Ida Lupino (born February 4):
A film from Lithuania (Restoration of the State Day, February 16):


As usual, recommendations are more than welcome!



I thoroughly enjoy Safety Last! and rate it a whole popcorn box higher than you but my favourite of his is actually The Kid Brother, be nice to see what you think of that one at some point (and it would fit with your 1920s category for this month).

Haven't seen any of your other recent watches so I'm a bad MoFo yet again



Haven't seen any of your other recent watches so I'm a bad MoFo yet again
Well, that means you have stuff to look forward to


And I'll add your Lloyd recommendation to my watchlist.



Finally dropped my first solo episode of the year, Episode 54 of The Movie Loot, in which I share my thoughts on all the films I saw during January.

The Movie Loot 54 - The Mitchells vs. the Machines / January Loot

Trying something a bit different by focusing a bit more on one of the best films I saw last month; this time, The Mitchells vs. the Machines, and then jumping into my quick thoughts on everything else I saw. If anybody listens, hope you like it.

Remember that you can also listen to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and most podcasting platforms.
I just finished listening to it. I liked it. You sound different than what I had imagined. You have a nice speaking voice.



Awww, thank you




Glad you liked the podcast. Fill free to check out past episodes here, or on any podcasting platform.



SAFETY LAST!
(1923, Newmeyer & Taylor)
Freebie


...
The most notable and iconic bit is Lloyd hanging from the clock, which is impressive. That stunt takes pretty much the last 20 minutes or so, but I like how they make it not feel overlong with the many ways that Lloyd's friend is trying to escape the cop which forces our lead to keep climbing, or the many obstacles that he faces on his way up (doves, the clock, obtrusive onlookers).
...
Grade:
Several years ago I came across a detailed explanation with pictures from the set, showing how Lloyd accomplished this iconic stunt. I couldn't find it, but this little vid rather explains it. The photo at the end puts it into perspective:



HAIL, CAESAR!
(2016, Coen)
A comedy



"But there is a new wind, blowing from the east, from the dusty streets of Bethlehem, that will soon challenge the vast house of Caesar, that edifice wrought of brick and blood which now seems so secure!"

That's part of the introductory narration to Hail, Caesar: A Tale of the Christ, the film-within-a-film in the Coen brothers film, uhh, Hail, Caesar! But winds of change from the east, threatening a long-standing institution seems to be a common thread among all the plots and subplots of this satiric look at 50's Hollywood.

Hail, Caesar! mostly follows Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin), a "fixer" for Capitol Pictures whose job is to make sure everything runs smoothly at the studio. From covering up scandals to streamlining production, his job is mostly to sell an image, a lie: that Western star Hobie Doyle (Alden Ehrenreich) can be a dramatic thespian, or that actress DeeAnna Moran (Scarlett Johansson) isn't having a child out of wedlock, or that veteran actor Baird Whitlock (George Clooney), star of that film-within-a-film, isn't "out on a bender".

The truth is that Whitlock has been kidnapped by a group of blacklisted Communist screenwriters. Again, winds of change from the east, threatening a long-standing institution. Meanwhile, Mannix is struggling with his own crisis of faith, both in religion and in his job, i.e. the studio system. How much does he believe in both? Can these long-standing institutions sustain the winds of change?

If this explanation sounds like a lot, it's because it is as the Coen brothers juggle this huge ensemble cast and this seemingly disparate subplots. And although there are indeed common threads and themes among all of them, at times it does feel a bit all over the place. I feel like there is a true masterpiece buried here, and although the pieces are there, it doesn't quite come together.

Nevertheless, it is what you would expect from the Coens, in terms of performance, dialogue, and overall craft. I can say that two sequences in the first half literally had me laughing in tears (Mannix seeking advice from four different religious leaders regarding the Caesar film, and Hobie Doyle on his first day on the set of a puffy drama). Those two bits brought it home in terms of sharp writing and wit, as well as physical and verbal comedy respectively.

Despite whatever small flaws the film might have had to come together, I still enjoyed it a lot. It was the kind of film that had me smiling all the way through, as is usual with most Coen brothers films. Let's hope these new winds of change in their careers don't threaten their "edifice wrought of brick", because I certainly want more Coen brothers films in it.

Grade: