The Life of Adèle: Chapter 1
Erotic Romantic Drama / French / 2013
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Originally Posted by Camo
Blue Is The Warmest Colour.
"It's me, but it's not me."
"It's a sketch."
"It's a sketch."
THERE, 1 hour, 30 minutes, 4 seconds, that's exactly HALF of the movie and the movie is divided into two chapters so I can review THE FIRST CHAPTER. I DON'T CARE IF THE NEXT SCENE IS HOT LESBIAN SEX, I'M DONE.
This movie...
Dude...
This movie...
Bring back the doggy gimp suits.
Milk, Waffles, Crepes, Gyros, Chicken, Ham, Shrimp, Oysters, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, Kissing, I DON'T GET ANYTHING OUT OF THIS KISSING BUSINESS! STAWP IT!
It's even worse when you attach dramatic weight to it too: Bait & Switch kisses Main Girl, Main Girl kisses her back, Bait & Switch says she wasn't serious, Main Girl cries.
And look, it's not like I don't know what they're trying to do here, they're trying to portray angst with some subtlety. Main Girl is plagued by the gay dreams and feels isolated thanks to a combination of blowing off the one guy who liked her (pun acknowledged) and social stigma, so when a random girl says she thinks she's really cute she goes all stupid and throws herself at her.
I get that, 'cept I don't get that.
I don't like this character. That behavior does not reflect well on her and what behavior that's already been assigned to her I don't like.
She's in high school still yet she smokes, boozes, eats her feelings, ****s guys after one day (awesome job getting pregnant dipshit), visits bars, ****s girls after one day, is just generally a wet towel of a person, and has some of the most intellectually fulfilling dialog I've ever heard:
Philosopher, prophet, same thing.
What we have here is a perfect example of tragedy. Tragedy is the unavoidable. It's what we cannot escape no matter what. It concerns eternity. It concerns what is timeless. It concerns the mechanism, the essence, of mankind.
We're just tryin' to read a book here, why do pretentious filmmakers always gotta get all existentialist on us? It's fricken' dumb! NOTHING you are saying tracks reality in the slightest!
You're better off tellin' all these kids they got **** friends, cause save for the one Gay Guy ('cause all straight kids are evil, you see), Main Girl's friends are just THE WORST kind of people.
"Did you have sex?"
"What?"
"You had sex."
"What? No."
"I can smell it on you."
"Why are you smelling me?"
"She ****ed, I can smell it."
"We didn't have sex alright? It was just an afternoon date."
"Afternoon sex?"
"NO."
"I don't believe you."
"Whether you believe me or not, doesn't change facts."
"I saw you walkin' with that blue-haired girl. Kinda dyke-y, huh? You **** her?"
"No, I didn't."
"Are you a lesbian?"
"No."
"You're a lesbian."
"Why are you even asking?"
"You've slept naked in my bed, you like pussy and asses DON'T YOU!?"
God in heaven, I ask you grant me a bazooka with which to punch a gory hole in these invasive prying catty bitches' faces.
Not like they weren't transparent unlikable to begin with, as soon as the movie drops us in to their conversation and they're poking and POKING AND POKING at Main Girl to shack up with Nearest Penis I already knew I wasn't going to like these characters.
On would hope that blue-haired "Bull Dyke" would offer an appreciable character to the proceedings, BUT NO, she's nearly a caricature. She's an artist who plays way too ******* coy to serve as anything other than the viewer surrogate's ideal lesbian fantasy. She's not even likable and there's no given reason why she, with nothing in common with Main Girl (save an interest in rugmunching), even likes her beyond some shallow plot to "break in the virgin".
And that DIALOG reaches it's zenith.
Originally Posted by Main Girl
I love it. I eat all the skins. Rinds too. As a kid I even ate my own scabs. I loved them.
Originally Posted by Bull Dyke
You're funny. So you're really into eating.
Originally Posted by Main Girl
You can't imagine. I eat everything. I could eat nonstop all day. It's scary. Even when I'm full. Everything but shellfish.
Originally Posted by Bull Dyke
Really? That's what I like most. I love oyster.
Originally Posted by Main Girl
Really? The texture alone grosses me out.
Originally Posted by Bull Dyke
That's the best part.
Originally Posted by Main Girl
They're like little snotballs. Big snotballs.
Originally Posted by Bull Dyke
They remind me of something else. *sex scene*
SLAY ME NOW I CAN'T GO ON.
*1 gay pride parade later*
*60 seconds of continuous facesucking in the park later*
*at the oyster dinner with Bull Dyke's parents*
Originally Posted by Main Girl
It's alive.
Originally Posted by Bull Dyke's Dad
It has to be alive. Don't eat it otherwise.
Couldn't possibly get worse, BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!!
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
The film generated controversy upon its premiere at the 2013 Cannes Film Festival and before its release. Much of the controversy was centred around claims of poor working conditions on set by the crew and the lead actresses, and also the film's raw depiction of sexuality.
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
Themes and interpretations
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
Lesbian sexuality is one of the strongest themes of the film, as the narrative deals mainly with Adele’s exploration of her identity in this context.
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
However, the film's treatment of lesbian sexuality has been questioned by academics, due to its being directed from a straight, male perspective.
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
One recurring thematic element addressed by critics and audiences is the division of social class...
The reference to social class is juxtaposed between the two dinner table scenes in the film, with Adèle's conservative middle-class family engaging in discussion over comparatively banal subjects to Emma's more open-minded upper-middle-class family, who focus their discussion primarily on more existential matters
The reference to social class is juxtaposed between the two dinner table scenes in the film, with Adèle's conservative middle-class family engaging in discussion over comparatively banal subjects to Emma's more open-minded upper-middle-class family, who focus their discussion primarily on more existential matters
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
The film portrays Adele and Emma's relationship with an overarching sense of realism.
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
Blue Is the Warmest Colour is also filled with visual symbolism.
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
For Adèle, blue represents an envoy of curiosity, ecstasy, love and ultimately, sadness.
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
Kechiche explores how food can evoke varying levels of symbolism
Review aggregation website Rotten Tomatoes gives the film an approval rating of 90% based on 167 reviews and an average score of 8.2/10. The site's critical consensus is: "Raw, honest, powerfully acted, and deliciously intense, Blue Is the Warmest Colour offers some of modern cinema's most elegantly composed, emotionally absorbing drama."
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"Well, at least your intentions behind the UTTERLY DEVASTATING FAULTS IN YOUR LOGIC are good." - Captain Steel