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He picked up the wrong couple?! I cannot tell you how much I'm laughing right now. They look nothing alike!!!
THE 3RD HALL OF INFAMY: Infamy Rises Again
He picked up the wrong couple?! I cannot tell you how much I'm laughing right now. They look nothing alike!!!
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I don't know what I'm going to rate this film, but it's certainly not "worst film ever" material. No movie moves like this.
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Just want to point out that this is the second nomination that features overlong scenes of women being awkwardly carried up- and down-hill. Just an observation.
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Double Down
OK, first let me get this out of the way. For a B-movie, this movie's always decently shot, when it's not using stock footage. There's often something pretty to look at through a nice helicopter shot. But that's pretty much all the good I have to say that isn't ironic. The really good stuff comes from the humor. There are instances of bad acting that are just riotous. There's also the plotting. It's bad, but it's surprisingly easy to mock because of its absurdities. So this guy is basically Jimmy Neutron and has invented everything apparently, and now we're going on his "me against every government I occasionally work for to make a living" adventure, but Breen can't play a convincing scientist to save his life. His ramblings on science and politics are poorly acted, and they feel thrown together, like he doesn't have a clue of what he's talking about.
The plotting is also random as all hell. It's like Breen found a tarot deck, and then he shuffled it and based a plot from each of the different cards, like he's suddenly his own fortune teller. But the most IMPORTANT thing is that it's Breen who does most of the talking! He's the star! Unlike Al Pacino, right? RIGHT!?!?? Hell by the second point in 40 minutes where they got to the actual meat of the action, I forgot what the job he was hired to do was! He spent too much time talking about random nonsense and occasionally to ghosts that I learned early on just to take any plotting with a grain of salt.
Well, this was definitely a laugh. It's like the original Mario movie from the 90's: makes so many mistakes that it's fun to pick them all out. And I still had some pretty shots to look at, so there's that. It was fun to watch how badly this B-movie played out, and the low quality never kept me bored because I really wanted to see what dumb thing the movie would do next. And yeah, it stayed dumb and improperly unpredictable throughout thje whole damn thing.
Well, thanks for teaching me about Neil Breen. Thanks to this gold mine of hilariously bad filmmaking, I have to check out his other films. I might wanna watch this again to make memes.
OK, first let me get this out of the way. For a B-movie, this movie's always decently shot, when it's not using stock footage. There's often something pretty to look at through a nice helicopter shot. But that's pretty much all the good I have to say that isn't ironic. The really good stuff comes from the humor. There are instances of bad acting that are just riotous. There's also the plotting. It's bad, but it's surprisingly easy to mock because of its absurdities. So this guy is basically Jimmy Neutron and has invented everything apparently, and now we're going on his "me against every government I occasionally work for to make a living" adventure, but Breen can't play a convincing scientist to save his life. His ramblings on science and politics are poorly acted, and they feel thrown together, like he doesn't have a clue of what he's talking about.
The plotting is also random as all hell. It's like Breen found a tarot deck, and then he shuffled it and based a plot from each of the different cards, like he's suddenly his own fortune teller. But the most IMPORTANT thing is that it's Breen who does most of the talking! He's the star! Unlike Al Pacino, right? RIGHT!?!?? Hell by the second point in 40 minutes where they got to the actual meat of the action, I forgot what the job he was hired to do was! He spent too much time talking about random nonsense and occasionally to ghosts that I learned early on just to take any plotting with a grain of salt.
Well, this was definitely a laugh. It's like the original Mario movie from the 90's: makes so many mistakes that it's fun to pick them all out. And I still had some pretty shots to look at, so there's that. It was fun to watch how badly this B-movie played out, and the low quality never kept me bored because I really wanted to see what dumb thing the movie would do next. And yeah, it stayed dumb and improperly unpredictable throughout thje whole damn thing.
Well, thanks for teaching me about Neil Breen. Thanks to this gold mine of hilariously bad filmmaking, I have to check out his other films. I might wanna watch this again to make memes.
Last edited by KeyserCorleone; 09-04-24 at 11:48 PM.
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Wow, I just read all your reactions to Double Down. This sounds completely unhinged. Looking forward to it.
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Wow, I just read all your reactions to Double Down. This sounds completely unhinged. Looking forward to it.
Well, I guess I don't dislike Robot Monster either, but I'd still call it average at best.
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I think it might be the only film from this Hall I can say I enjoyed.
It's turning out to be one of the biggest gaps between watching a film and writing the review, because I honestly don't know what to say about it.
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Remember - everything has an ending except hope, and sausages - they have two.
Latest Review : Double Down (2005)
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Double Down - 2005
Directed by Neil Breen
Written by Neil Breen
Starring - Neil Breen
No Lighting
No Make-up
I'm going to write a review of Double Down. I'm the world's best film reviewer. I've written the best reviews in film reviewing history. I've won all of the awards. I've won the Pulitzer for film reviewing. I've won the Nobel prize for movie criticism. When a film needs revewing, the government calls on me. I'm the best at writing. I'm the best at watching. I've watched all the films. I've analysed them. I've figured out what they all mean. I know all the filmmakers. I can also cure cancer.
When I sit and review the movies I eat tuna. Straight from the can. I spill it. I'm covered in tuna because I'm the best at it. I spill lots of things, and mess a lot of things up. When I'm reviewing a film, I often review the wrong one. When I start to review the right one, someone calls me. It turns out the director has killed himself. He was afraid of what my review was going to say. Because I'm the best at film reviewing, and have won all of the awards.
I've got 8 different DVD players, and 5 different TVs all turned on at the same time. I press play on one, pause on another, and I press other buttons even though none of them are actually on. I'm busy reveiwing the movies. I need all the players and TV sets becauce I'm the best at watching movies. There has never been anyone better at watching movies. There was someone who thought they were better, but they rang me up and told me "It's no use. You're the best."
Even though I'm a movie reviewer, I spend a lot of time in the desert, running around and screaming. In fact, I spend far more time doing that than I do actually watching movies. You see that plastic skeleton in that plastic bag over there? That's my girlfriend. I talk to her quite often. In fact, I talk to her more often than I watch movies. I really don't watch all that many movies, even though I'm the world's best and most important movie reviewer.
Every morning I wake up and I don't know where I am, or what's going on. I lost my magic rock. It's somewhere amongst all the trash and empty tuna cans. I love movies too much! I'm not going to give Double Down a bad review! I'm running in the desert. Screaming again. I'm calling my friends all at the same time, on 4 different phones. For some reason. My younger self is beckoning. I have to go. This is my review of Double Down.
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Double Down - 2005
Directed by Neil Breen
Written by Neil Breen
Starring - Neil Breen
No Lighting
No Make-up
I'm going to write a review of Double Down. I'm the world's best film reviewer. I've written the best reviews in film reviewing history. I've won all of the awards. I've won the Pulitzer for film reviewing. I've won the Nobel prize for movie criticism. When a film needs revewing, the government calls on me. I'm the best at writing. I'm the best at watching. I've watched all the films. I've analysed them. I've figured out what they all mean. I know all the filmmakers. I can also cure cancer.
When I sit and review the movies I eat tuna. Straight from the can. I spill it. I'm covered in tuna because I'm the best at it. I spill lots of things, and mess a lot of things up. When I'm reviewing a film, I often review the wrong one. When I start to review the right one, someone calls me. It turns out the director has killed himself. He was afraid of what my review was going to say. Because I'm the best at film reviewing, and have won all of the awards.
I've got 8 different DVD players, and 5 different TVs all turned on at the same time. I press play on one, pause on another, and I press other buttons even though none of them are actually on. I'm busy reveiwing the movies. I need all the players and TV sets becauce I'm the best at watching movies. There has never been anyone better at watching movies. There was someone who thought they were better, but they rang me up and told me "It's no use. You're the best."
Even though I'm a movie reviewer, I spend a lot of time in the desert, running around and screaming. In fact, I spend far more time doing that than I do actually watching movies. You see that plastic skeleton in that plastic bag over there? That's my girlfriend. I talk to her quite often. In fact, I talk to her more often than I watch movies. I really don't watch all that many movies, even though I'm the world's best and most important movie reviewer.
Every morning I wake up and I don't know where I am, or what's going on. I lost my magic rock. It's somewhere amongst all the trash and empty tuna cans. I love movies too much! I'm not going to give Double Down a bad review! I'm running in the desert. Screaming again. I'm calling my friends all at the same time, on 4 different phones. For some reason. My younger self is beckoning. I have to go. This is my review of Double Down.
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lol, I just realized I haven't actually posted a review yet. And yet I feel like I've been reviewing it all week. 
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(thanks for not showing us your scrotum, btw)
Anyways, I'm overjoyed by the responses. I thought nothing would top the fun I had during "Themroc-Gate" from the 25th one, but this surpasses it.
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Double Down - 1 blank laptop out of 5
This movie seems like what you would get if you gave that person who spouts conspiracy theories at the office - you know, the one you can imagine wearing a tin foil hat at home - a movie camera and a few thousand bucks. I will admit that picking this movie apart feels like punching down to me. You have to admire the initiative Breen had to put so much of his time and money into this passion project. Alas, that does not place him above criticism. Demonstrating that ego is definitely a factor in projects like this one, Breen makes Aaron Brand into such a Gary Stu that even the average Kevin Costner character seems humble in comparison. The introductory voiceover listing his dozens of accomplishments eventually ends, and while a story follows, the incessant reminders of just how awesome those accomplishment are makes it seem like the introduction does not conclude until the movie does. It does not help that the story would only make sense if you mapped it out because it has the continuity of a rant from the insane person at a bus stop ("and then, an old man wandered by with a...magic rock!") You would think someone who could do everything from design satellites to cure cancer with his hands would be the most inspiring character in movie history, right? On the other hand, Brand does something in nearly every scene that makes you question each one, ultimately making you wonder if he's completely delusional. If it's not his addiction to canned tuna, his inability to eat it, or his questionable fashion choices, it’s his “office” being totally unwieldly, not to mention pretty out in the open for someone who supposedly works covertly. As for the acting, Breen supposedly hires all his talent from whoever's willing to sign up on Craigslist and it shows.
Even though I am unable to rate this movie more than one star, there's something about it that makes it linger in my thoughts and want to embrace it despite my better judgement. Is it because it's so gosh darn sincere? Is it because it's not just trying to sell me something like so much entertainment does these days? Is it because there is some truth in what it ultimately says about the rich and powerful? Is it because maybe wearing a tin foil hat is not such a bad idea? Whatever the answer is, Breen must be doing something right because I've seen three of his movies and would not mind seeing the rest. I just hope he keeps his pants on in them.
This movie seems like what you would get if you gave that person who spouts conspiracy theories at the office - you know, the one you can imagine wearing a tin foil hat at home - a movie camera and a few thousand bucks. I will admit that picking this movie apart feels like punching down to me. You have to admire the initiative Breen had to put so much of his time and money into this passion project. Alas, that does not place him above criticism. Demonstrating that ego is definitely a factor in projects like this one, Breen makes Aaron Brand into such a Gary Stu that even the average Kevin Costner character seems humble in comparison. The introductory voiceover listing his dozens of accomplishments eventually ends, and while a story follows, the incessant reminders of just how awesome those accomplishment are makes it seem like the introduction does not conclude until the movie does. It does not help that the story would only make sense if you mapped it out because it has the continuity of a rant from the insane person at a bus stop ("and then, an old man wandered by with a...magic rock!") You would think someone who could do everything from design satellites to cure cancer with his hands would be the most inspiring character in movie history, right? On the other hand, Brand does something in nearly every scene that makes you question each one, ultimately making you wonder if he's completely delusional. If it's not his addiction to canned tuna, his inability to eat it, or his questionable fashion choices, it’s his “office” being totally unwieldly, not to mention pretty out in the open for someone who supposedly works covertly. As for the acting, Breen supposedly hires all his talent from whoever's willing to sign up on Craigslist and it shows.
Even though I am unable to rate this movie more than one star, there's something about it that makes it linger in my thoughts and want to embrace it despite my better judgement. Is it because it's so gosh darn sincere? Is it because it's not just trying to sell me something like so much entertainment does these days? Is it because there is some truth in what it ultimately says about the rich and powerful? Is it because maybe wearing a tin foil hat is not such a bad idea? Whatever the answer is, Breen must be doing something right because I've seen three of his movies and would not mind seeing the rest. I just hope he keeps his pants on in them.
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Double Down - 1 blank laptop out of 5
This movie seems like what you would get if you gave that person who spouts conspiracy theories at the office - you know, the one you can imagine wearing a tin foil hat at home - a movie camera and a few thousand bucks. I will admit that picking this movie apart feels like punching down to me. You have to admire the initiative Breen had to put so much of his time and money into this passion project. Alas, that does not place him above criticism. Demonstrating that ego is definitely a factor in projects like this one, Breen makes Aaron Brand into such a Gary Stu that even the average Kevin Costner character seems humble in comparison. The introductory voiceover listing his dozens of accomplishments eventually ends, and while a story follows, the incessant reminders of just how awesome those accomplishment are makes it seem like the introduction does not conclude until the movie does. It does not help that the story would only make sense if you mapped it out because it has the continuity of a rant from the insane person at a bus stop ("and then, an old man wandered by with a...magic rock!") You would think someone who could do everything from design satellites to cure cancer with his hands would be the most inspiring character in movie history, right? On the other hand, Brand does something in nearly every scene that makes you question each one, ultimately making you wonder if he's completely delusional. If it's not his addiction to canned tuna, his inability to eat it, or his questionable fashion choices, it’s his “office” being totally unwieldly, not to mention pretty out in the open for someone who supposedly works covertly. As for the acting, Breen supposedly hires all his talent from whoever's willing to sign up on Craigslist and it shows.
Even though I am unable to rate this movie more than one star, there's something about it that makes it linger in my thoughts and want to embrace it despite my better judgement. Is it because it's so gosh darn sincere? Is it because it's not just trying to sell me something like so much entertainment does these days? Is it because there is some truth in what it ultimately says about the rich and powerful? Is it because maybe wearing a tin foil hat is not such a bad idea? Whatever the answer is, Breen must be doing something right because I've seen three of his movies and would not mind seeing the rest. I just hope he keeps his pants on in them.
This movie seems like what you would get if you gave that person who spouts conspiracy theories at the office - you know, the one you can imagine wearing a tin foil hat at home - a movie camera and a few thousand bucks. I will admit that picking this movie apart feels like punching down to me. You have to admire the initiative Breen had to put so much of his time and money into this passion project. Alas, that does not place him above criticism. Demonstrating that ego is definitely a factor in projects like this one, Breen makes Aaron Brand into such a Gary Stu that even the average Kevin Costner character seems humble in comparison. The introductory voiceover listing his dozens of accomplishments eventually ends, and while a story follows, the incessant reminders of just how awesome those accomplishment are makes it seem like the introduction does not conclude until the movie does. It does not help that the story would only make sense if you mapped it out because it has the continuity of a rant from the insane person at a bus stop ("and then, an old man wandered by with a...magic rock!") You would think someone who could do everything from design satellites to cure cancer with his hands would be the most inspiring character in movie history, right? On the other hand, Brand does something in nearly every scene that makes you question each one, ultimately making you wonder if he's completely delusional. If it's not his addiction to canned tuna, his inability to eat it, or his questionable fashion choices, it’s his “office” being totally unwieldly, not to mention pretty out in the open for someone who supposedly works covertly. As for the acting, Breen supposedly hires all his talent from whoever's willing to sign up on Craigslist and it shows.
Even though I am unable to rate this movie more than one star, there's something about it that makes it linger in my thoughts and want to embrace it despite my better judgement. Is it because it's so gosh darn sincere? Is it because it's not just trying to sell me something like so much entertainment does these days? Is it because there is some truth in what it ultimately says about the rich and powerful? Is it because maybe wearing a tin foil hat is not such a bad idea? Whatever the answer is, Breen must be doing something right because I've seen three of his movies and would not mind seeing the rest. I just hope he keeps his pants on in them.
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