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A scary thing happened on the way to the Movie Forums - Horrorcrammers

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TROS is dumb fun as it saw fit to be an adventure macguffin flick where the protagonists generally like each other and are enjoyable to watch adventuring. TLJ decided to make everything dour and stupid, with all the joy sucked out of every character and moment due to an intended importance that the film is nowhere near smart enough to pull off.

Star Wars by and large is a dumb franchise. You can embrace the dumb or you can try to elevate the dumb. TLJ horribly failed to do the latter.
I guess my friends and I didn't see it the same as you. We are in pretty much unanimous agreement that it is easily the worst Star Wars film ever made and we also felt it was one of the worst if not the worst big-budget film we've seen in ages if not ever.
That's consensus and we didn't see it together.
I left Cats early to go see RoS and I just said, "I left Cats for this?!"



I guess my friends and I didn't see it the same as you. We are in pretty much unanimous agreement that it is easily the worst Star Wars film ever made and we also felt it was one of the worst if not the worst big-budget film we've seen in ages if not ever.
That's consensus and we didn't see it together.
I left Cats early to go see RoS and I just said, "I left Cats for this?!"
That kinda reaction strikes me as that of failed expectations more than an accurate approximation of the filmís quality. Iím guilty of it too, as I hated Prometheus with a fiery passion for so thoroughly failing to measure up to what I expected from Ridley Scottís return to the franchise.

I just canít see by any discernible metric that TROS is worse than any of the prequels. The Last Jedi is more debatable but I feel like TROS, for all itís narrative jank, is still a structurally and thematically sturdier film, though Johnson is clearly a better technical craftsman than Abrams.

I think TROS falls firmly in the middle of the Star Wars pack, just below Rogue One, TFA and Solo.

CATS, however, is a cinematic masterpiece that belongs in a double feature with SHOWGIRLS, so you did choose poorly leaving a showing of it.



Get In. A French film about a family returning from vacation to find squatters in their home. Most of this isn’t a horror movie, instead meditating on feeling inadequate, manhood, and race. Every scene is dripping with these themes. It’s beautifully shot and acted as well. And when it’s ready to be a horror movie it’s truly horrific. This was a legitimately good film.

...then I watched a movie about a killer elevator.

The Lift is some fun from the Dutch. The premise is taken seriously enough to not be too campy. While the middle drags a bit the third act has a wonderfully tense dialogue-less climax.



And to weigh in on this Star Wars conversation, I appreciate TLJ for trying to do something different, and I did like the slow chase, Rey and Luke on the island, and a lot of the imagery. ROS was astoundingly bad. It was shocking.
A lot of the newer Star Wars films have parts of them that I like. The whole first act of Force Awakens is perfect. I like the second half of Rogue One as well. But man, ROS, **** that movie.



That kinda reaction strikes me as that of failed expectations more than an accurate approximation of the filmís quality. Iím guilty of it too, as I hated Prometheus with a fiery passion for so thoroughly failing to measure up to what I expected from Ridley Scottís return to the franchise.

I just canít see by any discernible metric that TROS is worse than any of the prequels. The Last Jedi is more debatable but I feel like TROS, for all itís narrative jank, is still a structurally and thematically sturdier film, though Johnson is clearly a better technical craftsman than Abrams.

I think TROS falls firmly in the middle of the Star Wars pack, just below Rogue One, TFA and Solo.

CATS, however, is a cinematic masterpiece that belongs in a double feature with SHOWGIRLS, so you did choose poorly leaving a showing of it.
It may strike you that way but you are wrong in this case. I had very low expectations going into the film after TLJ and almost any improvement would have been acceptable. Alas, what I got was a movie that seemed to simply be making itself up as it went along. Like from one scene to the next it almost seemed like a child telling a story they are making up on the spot, "and then... they go in this cave... and then... they find a giant snake!!!... but it turns out the snake is hurt and Rey heals it with her Magic Jedi Powers... so then they escape... and they find this special knife... and then they convince this thing that's programmed not to help them to help them... and then they go to another planet... and there's these scary people who ride horses... only they turn out to be good guys..." and on and on. Our consensus was that the movie was pathetic. Simply pathetic. "Rose has homework", randomly running into Creepy Lando, Han back again, the massive secret fleet, everything with Palpatine, the kiss, it was really like a group of 11 year-olds (if I'm being kind) were just spouting out everything they could think of. Just one of the worst movies I've seen, really at any budget, in a long, long time.
I guess all I can say for the Prequels is that, like them or not, and I don't, they are at least coherent.



Halloween II (1981) -


I'm very far behind on this series, obviously. While it's not the masterpiece the first one is, it's still a definitive '80s slasher. Taking place right where part one left off, it has Laurie and Michael playing a cat and mouse game in my personal favorite set piece in any horror story: a hospital. Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis assists the cops to track Michael down while doing the character and world building thing he does so well. The movie continues the series' tradition for expert tension building and releasing as well as surprising. Some kills are more predictable than others, but the brutal methods Michael uses to increase his kill count make up for it. Jamie Lee Curtis again proves how good of an actress she is in this even though she spends much of the movie in a catatonic state. Also, Lance Guest, whom I've only ever seen in The Last Starfighter, was a welcome sight and he does strong work as an EMT and ally to Laurie. As for Pleasance, there's a reason his name is first in the opening credits. Again, it's a step down from the first one in that it lacks John Carpenter's signature simplicity and elegance, and it doesn't really build upon its theme of the suburbs not being as safe and cozy of a place to live that we were led to believe. There's also a Celtic mythology tangent that may pay off later in the series, but not much is done with it here. I'm still very glad I finally watched it, and now that I have, I may rank this sequel and its predecessor over Hellraiser 1 and 2 as my favorite when it comes to horror franchise one-two punches.
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Mad God (Tippett, 2021)



It may strike you that way but you are wrong in this case. I had very low expectations going into the film after TLJ and almost any improvement would have been acceptable. Alas, what I got was a movie that seemed to simply be making itself up as it went along. Like from one scene to the next it almost seemed like a child telling a story they are making up on the spot, "and then... they go in this cave... and then... they find a giant snake!!!... but it turns out the snake is hurt and Rey heals it with her Magic Jedi Powers... so then they escape... and they find this special knife... and then they convince this thing that's programmed not to help them to help them... and then they go to another planet... and there's these scary people who ride horses... only they turn out to be good guys..." and on and on. Our consensus was that the movie was pathetic. Simply pathetic. "Rose has homework", randomly running into Creepy Lando, Han back again, the massive secret fleet, everything with Palpatine, the kiss, it was really like a group of 11 year-olds (if I'm being kind) were just spouting out everything they could think of. Just one of the worst movies I've seen, really at any budget, in a long, long time.
I guess all I can say for the Prequels is that, like them or not, and I don't, they are at least coherent.
Sure, man. Iím not saying that you donít feel that way. But youíre sort of just listing things and going ďthat sucked!Ē which, alright. But then you call the prequels ďcoherentĒ and if one can find it in their hearts to grant them THAT, because woof, then Iím sure one day youíll be softer on ROTS after the vitriolic disappointment dies out.



minds his own damn business
Alas, what I got was a movie that seemed to simply be making itself up as it went along.
Yup. You pegged the problem right where it needs it. This trilogy was a cosplay karaoke version of Star Wars, but there was no story, no script and no underlying arc. We now know for a fact what we suspected - it was made up as they went along. All surface, no substance. It was nostaligia porn for Kenner merch.
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Sure, man. Iím not saying that you donít feel that way. But youíre sort of just listing things and going ďthat sucked!Ē which, alright. But then you call the prequels ďcoherentĒ and if one can find it in their hearts to grant them THAT, because woof, then Iím sure one day youíll be softer on ROTS after the vitriolic disappointment dies out.
Maybe. It's actually already become a trope in my group. Like when you want to make fun of terrible plotting in a film, you just reference RoS. Or when you want to indicate that a tentpole type film is bad, you compare it to RoS. For example, "I thought Shang-Chi was pretty bad but it was no Rise Of Skywalker."



Yup. You pegged the problem right where it needs it. This trilogy was a cosplay karaoke version of Star Wars, but there was no story, no script and no underlying arc. We now know for a fact what we suspected - it was made up as they went along. All surface, no substance. It was nostaligia porn for Kenner merch.
Exactly.



I think JJ had a plan and much like Luke after being handed the lightsaber, Johnson tossed it over his shoulder and did his thing. Then JJ attempted to make part 2 and 3 in his trilogy within the same third film and didnít pull off a course correction.

But as is, thereís an arc for Rey being the foil of Anakin. She was destined for evil due to her lineage and namesake but chooses her own destiny and redefines herself. Really basic stuff caught in a miasma thatís essentially 1 real movie and 2 diss tracks between filmmakers and their perception of what SW should be.

Opie made a significantly better SW film than either.



I greatly prefer Rogue One and Solo to the new trilogy as they accept their relative inconsequence and try to work on that level. I mostly enjoy The Mandalorian as well for that reason, although its attempts to tie the story into the greater universe have grown more awkward over the second season.


I'm not a fan of the trend of shared universes (I opted out of the MCU), and the trilogy just reeks of forced significance through a mix of hacky or obnoxious decisions, without a clear unifying viewpoint except a corporate mandate. I don't agree with prequel revisionism because I think they're still bad, but I appreciate they had an actual artist making the bad creative decisions.



I enjoyed the Force Awakens exactly as you are supposed to. A shared memory returning to the screen. I think it is competently made, but it didn't really mean anything to me. Still, I was surprised by the fact I found it engaging, regardless of what an empty vessell it was


The second one was obviously junk. I did find it interesting how ungainly it was. Wooley mentions a child narrating a story and just making it up as it goes along. I can't disagree with this. But I found that almost vaguely interesting. Even though I did not technically enjoy watching it and couldn't have gotten out of the theater fast enough.


Never bothered with Rise of Skywalker. If it was on I would probably watch it, but I imagine I will never be in a room when it is on.


I really liked the conceit behind Rogue One. It's the only one I ever think about in terms of it actually being a movie. That said, I also found the second half of it terminally boring and almost unwatchable.



I enjoyed the Force Awakens exactly as you are supposed to. A shared memory returning to the screen. I think it is competently made, but it didn't really mean anything to me. Still, I was surprised by the fact I found it engaging, regardless of what an empty vessell it was


The second one was obviously junk. I did find it interesting how ungainly it was. Wooley mentions a child narrating a story and just making it up as it goes along. I can't disagree with this. But I found that almost vaguely interesting. Even though I did not technically enjoy watching it and couldn't have gotten out of the theater fast enough.


Never bothered with Rise of Skywalker. If it was on I would probably watch it, but I imagine I will never be in a room when it is on.


I really liked the conceit behind Rogue One. It's the only one I ever think about in terms of it actually being a movie. That said, I also found the second half of it terminally boring and almost unwatchable.
This is Solo erasure and now you must watch Malignant to atone.



Registered User
The only change I would've made to the OT would be to have had Spielberg direct Jedi. The only change I would make the what came after is their existence.



This is Solo erasure and now you must watch Malignant to atone.

I'll watch Malignant as soon as I have any access to it. I don't think it is available for any of my streaming services.


And I'm sure I'll hate it. And I'd almost wager more so than The Conjuring. But we'll see.



I will not watch Solo though.



The trick is not minding
I think Rogue One was the only Star Wars films I actually would not rewatch.
The prequels areÖ.ok for what they are. I donít think I ever rewatch those, but I donít hate them or anything.

The latest trilogy was, again, ok, but there was no imaginative spark that was evident to the original trilogy. Abrams will forever just copy/paste his style while borrowing from other more competent directors and hope that nostalgia will carry his films further than he ever could.



I'll watch Malignant as soon as I have any access to it. I don't think it is available for any of my streaming services.


And I'm sure I'll hate it. And I'd almost wager more so than The Conjuring. But we'll see.



I will not watch Solo though.
What you got against Solo? Itís the opening scene of Last Crusade but feature length.



Registered User
I think Rogue One was the only Star Wars films I actually would not rewatch.

Interesting, that's the only one I would not Thanos snap out existence.



What you got against Solo? Itís the opening scene of Last Crusade but feature length.

I'm just tired of all the reboots


Just tired


And **** off with prequels.


And I've only heard godawful things


The only reason I'd consider watchign ROSW is because I started that nonsense. Than again, I"ve never watched Revenge (Return? Relapse?) of the Sith either.



minds his own damn business
I think JJ had a plan
I don't believe so. I think the original plan was the Abrams-Johnson-Trevorrow thing which was thrown to the wolves after Henry (rip) provided the adequete doubt to throw the latter's capabilities out of the picture, and from what I gathered from all of the creative principals, none of them seemed to be on the same page at any given moment. Abrams publicly chided Johnson's choices, showing no evident understanding between them, and ROS, on paper, has all of the hallmarks of a salvage fricassee. I think maybe one reason why the brunt of the blame falls on ROS is because it's the reveal that Abrams' mystery boxes had been exhausted. If you build it, it will collapse under its own weight - Death Star 101.