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THE MUMMY'S SHROUD (1967)

In the history of horror, has there ever been a less-frightening tagline than "Beware the beat of the cloth-wrapped feet"?? Someone at Hammer really committed to it though, as it appears in every trailer as well. Sounds even worse when spoken aloud. Oof.

So for their third mummy film, Hammer decided to dispense with the cumbersome bandage-wrapping thing and just put this new mummy in a flippin' jumpsuit, not even bothering to cover the zipper seam in the back.



And is this seriously the face we're going with?



Low-effort creature design aside, this is again an enjoyable foray into Mummy Land. Same plot as every other mummy film, so I won't spend any time on that, but it benefits from a couple of stand-out performances from the creepy fortune teller and perpetual sideman Michael Ripper, who gets a larger-than-average role here and nails it. (Ripper was in practically every Hammer film, usually playing minor roles like barkeeps, policemen, servants, etc.) This one also sets itself apart with some fun camera work. The murders are seen in reflections, or through crystal balls, or through the blurry vision of a victim who's lost his glasses, etc. Again, the '59 Christopher Lee film is the one to watch, but if your standards are as low as mine this will do nicely.
This was the one I was thinking of.
That Mummy is clearly wearing pants.



"The beat of cloth-wrapped feet"...
I think that's gonna be the name of my next album.



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That Mummy is clearly wearing pants.

Definitely not a female mummy then. Ancient Egypt was quite restrictive about women not being able to wear britches.



Undead, undead, undead...




Addams Family Halloween Episode

As usual, Carolyn Jones, who I lately saw to amusing effect in Eaten Alive, shines as Morticia.




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Undead, undead, undead...


Opening track to The Hunger. Tony Scott's (his words) "horny" vampire film in which he tried to mimic (his admission) Ridley's lighting set-ups in Blade Runner.


One of those vamp films that can't really decide if vampirism is metaphysical or biological (e.g., Blade).



I reedited this one in the attempt to improve it a bit, but I don't think it quite worked (most re-edits seem to be failures).



Some great visuals in this film and I like the link to progeria -- I think this links to the fear that young people have that, despite the apparent immortality of their youth, they will someday crack and crumble, faster than they think (spoiler alert kids, it's true!).



Also, David Bowie growing old waiting for medical attention is right up their with Walter White having to sell meth to afford medical treatment, both are great jabs against American medicine.



Undead, undead, undead...

I love that Tony Scott saw them in concert and they made such an impression that he decided to start his movie with them.
Now, how would it have been if he had seen Captain & Tennille instead?



Remember, kids...

Alright, I might have to join Twitter just so I can get in on these things.



I love that Tony Scott saw them in concert and they made such an impression that he decided to start his movie with them.
Now, how would it have been if he had seen Captain & Tennille instead?


C'mon, you can totally seduce and kill strangers to "Love Will Keep Us Together".



We'll be right back after these messages


Careful. You know how I am about Valerie Leon.



Coming up, one of the two Horror movies I watch every year now.



Coming up, one of the two Horror movies I watch every year now.
Tonight's feature is one of those "Why haven't I seen this yet?" films. Looking forward to it.
Here's hoping I've got a new favorite movie a few hours from now.



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C'mon, you can totally seduce and kill strangers to "Love Will Keep Us Together".
Incongruity can be effective, at times. Consider the use of "Time is on my side" in Fallen, or "Rocky Mountain High" in Final Destination, or 50s doo-wop in Christine, or "Good Vibrations" in Vanilla Sky (Tech SUPPORRRTT!!!).

And I submit to you a question: What is more terrifying than the sudden appearance of 70's Disco in a context? I was there. I saw the strength of Funk fail and devolve into saccharine horror. Disco whistles and roller skates. Toot-toot! Beep-beep! The horror. The horror.



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Is Barnabas getting his ass kicked on that cover?