MoFo Therapy

@Sexy Celebrity, do you really think I could be an axe murderer?

He told you that? Aren't therapists supposed to be objective.

Yes, @Captain Steel, I do believe that you don't view everyone as bad, and that's a good thing.

But I do think..... you found it hard to let go of this guy who rejected you, who couldn't be the good kind of friend you wanted.

And maybe..... maybe it led to you to keep thinking that good people just aren't "attracted" to you. You probably felt that you couldn't pull him into your life, and because of that, you kept right on thinking that only bad people would want to be around you. Does that make any sense to you?

What about OTHER people, though? Have you tried with anyone else who didn't have so many other obligations?

ALSO -- do you think that perhaps you chose somebody who was so busy in their life..... because you knew he would reject you? Did you already know that he wouldn't have time for you? Did you seek him out anyway? Were you hoping - desperately hoping - that he'd be gracious enough to give up his life for you?

lol its not the first time he's hinted of it... but then again.. I am the creepy girl here...

I think anyone's capable of being an axe murderer. Of course, not everyone turns out to be one. I certainly hope you don't want to be an axe murderer.

lol the good ol' days when you teased me relentlessly.

Well, interesting that you brought up the poop, anyway.

Fetishes, though..... this could POSSIBLY be a sexual thing. Vanilla is a type of sexual thing. It means you like things plain and simple.

What do you think the chocolate and vanilla combination might mean? You were repulsed by it. But you kept eating it anyway with the wrong utensil...…

White crumpled paper...… well, why white crumpled paper? Have you been around any white crumpled paper, lately?

@Sexy Celebrity did you delete every single one of your posts before you left?

I've deleted A TON of stuff. All my movie reviews, all my shouts (and I was, like, the #2 shouter), tons of other stuff. I probably have more deleted posts than anyone else.

ah because I was looking for one of your posts... and I found the thread!

I think you should try not to analyze meaning or over-interpret responses from coworkers. I do this a LOT and I've noticed 9 times out of 10 I've only projected MY insecurities onto other's reactions. I judge myself as less and deserving of guilt, so by default I tend to assume (wrongfully) that others perceive me as I perceive myself. That is totally irrational but makes sense in the moment.

I wonder if you are doing that here. As others have suggested, you do for you. External factors (within reason of course) are irrelevant. If you need to heal then do it. I really think they are not at all placing nearly as much judgment onto you as you are probably doing to yourself over this decision. But if they are? Then ultimately they are not worth your concern or deserving of the level of importance you give their opinion because they have zero understanding of your concerns. Ever how insignificant THEY may think this is, it is very significant to you, clearly. They should empathize and recognize that they do not understand and should let you be. But honestly, maybe don't give them that much credit or power? Most likely they don't know and probably just don't know how to process this to begin with.

As you said, most do not self reflect IMO. If not, then how could they ever really empathize?

Please try not to get too heady measuring them, by assuming they are measuring you.

Here you go, @MovieGal.

I hope you'll find that avatar suitable to your tastes.

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Hmm. Wait, wait, I think I see now. Crumpled paper, the paper is ruined AND dipped in MELTED ice cream. All eaten with a FORK, which obviously the ice cream would just melt through. Well, it's obvious, clearly I can't bring myself to enjoy the pleasures in life.


Thanks, doc!

Excellent post!
The middle part makes a lot of sense.

With the last paragraph, I can't say I was desperately hoping or knew I'd be rejected. We were already good friends at that time which is probably why he felt comfortable enough to level with me rather than making excuses or doing the ol' "sure, we've got to get together sometime!" thing where they say it with no intention of ever making it happen.

(Like with my cousin's husband who'd always say, "Hey, you should come up to our lake house sometime!" to which I'd respond, "I'd love to! How's this weekend, next weekend? May 1st, any day in July, Labor Day weekend, the day after that, a specific date next year?" to which he'd begin to stammer, "Um... this weekend? Um, I don't think we can THIS weekend. Next weekend... um... I think we're doing something, but HEY! ANYWAY! You've GOT to come up to the lake house sometime! Don't be a such a stranger!" ... It was the old placation invite to appear cordial but with no sincerity behind it. I'd rather someone say nothing than make those false gestures of hospitality with no intention of actually fulfilling them.)

My work friend and I continued to be friends even though we never got together outside of work until the time his company had completed its contract at the site and he was moved to a different position. Although he did contact me once when he was going to be in my area on business and we got together for lunch - that was nice.

The fork may also be telling you to try an alternative to your problems.

So.... seeing life as more pleasurable.

Could be why the chocolate and vanilla just didn't seem right, yet you ate it, anyway.

Somehow I feel that around here.. I'm the one who needs the most therapy from the use of this Forum... I just searched everytime my name was used by someone... Dr Celebrity!.. and yeah .. the things said...

Maybe I'm just lactose intolerant.

Thanks.

Good of you to feel that he told you like it is because he felt comfortable with you. That's a sign that you can be attracted to the right people.

Well..... do be aware that when people are making "false gestures of hospitality" ….. although they may not be able to fulfill certain promises right away..... they may mean it when they say they want to do something with you in the future. Why else would they say it? Just to be nice? Maybe, but a lot of times, you don't say something unless you mean it on some level. Why risk inviting people to do stuff you really don't want to do with them? So, if people "open up a can of worms", they're doing it purposely, and there may be genuine kindness and friendship there. You should look to those people as other examples of friends you can do stuff with. Don't let them be "bad" people in your eyes, too.

So, do you miss this friend or wish to find more friends like him?

How does this relate to your frustrations of being unhappy with your life?

This!!!

https://www.movieforums.com/communit...2&pp=25&page=2

It's about time for me to go to my slumber chamber.

You can leave me your problems here and I'll get back to you tomorrow.