A transcript of last night's insane Oscar chat

Here ya' go. The previous nine years of the chat are there, too.

The insanity begins on page 39.

Classic JJ.

I wasn't in the chat much compared to years previous, but a damn crazy chat. I'll have some thoughts later.

It's definitely, uh, changed, since the years of Lennon saying "MIKE WAZOWSKI" over and over.

I fell asleep, came back and fell asleep and then decided to head to bed because this wasn't working very well for me.

Firs time I've missed The Oscars in quite a few years, but I simply couldn't keep my eyes open. I've had a busy, busy, busy, week and was working all weekend. I think I made it to 3 or 4 AM and then that was it. Shame.

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Oh my god, that killed me

It almost killed OscarBot, too.

Peeps lost their sh*t when the Oscar for best picture was given.

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Suddenly I'm in the mood for a handjob.

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Very nice Yoda! Preserved for all to see

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The best of jj, no context needed:

jiraffejustin: Alt-Right is coming back into fascism.

jiraffejustin: You don't have to be gay to pull on a wiener for a bit.

jiraffejustin: jacking off

jiraffejustin: I wish I was the Rock.

jiraffejustin: I hope Moonlight wins best picture, because it has a person jacking another person off.

jiraffejustin: I like his soul patch

jiraffejustin: Handjobs are serious.

jiraffejustin: You guys ever seen Police Story? No handjobs or jacking off, but it's good.

jiraffejustin: I have a cousin that looks like Don Cheadle, except white.

jiraffejustin: WHO DOES THE JACKING?

jiraffejustin: I don't want to watch the same handjob over and over again, it gets boring after a while.

jiraffejustin: No, Yoda was talking about the handjobs

jiraffejustin: I bet they are stoked to be in the same room as Keith Urban

jiraffejustin: I hate foreign films because reading is for stupid nerds that are dumb.

jiraffejustin: I f*cking love Woody Guthrie.

jiraffejustin: Hopefully he uses the f*cker word.

jiraffejustin: "The winner is Justin Hurwitz, motherf*cker"

jiraffejustin: handjob!

jiraffejustin: HANDJOB BABY

jiraffejustin: But there isn't a fisting scene in Moonlight.

jiraffejustin: For being old as sh*t, Faye Dunaway looks good

jiraffejustin: An HJ a day keeps the Dunaway

jiraffejustin: HANDJOBS BABY

jiraffejustin: Will you refer to this year as the handjob year on the podcast, Yoda?

jiraffejustin: The Handjob was faked
Austruck: Women always fake handjobs, jj.

HILARIOUS!

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