The 2014 Tattymobile ... Or how to be an indecisive ninny
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Is it natural for a man to obsess about such things?
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18 votes. You may not vote on this poll
I do try and shoehorn in Spinal Tap quotes when I can.
I find reactions towards me much less violent than to guys who quote Python. I mean, I've got a friend who regularly starts talking about shrubberies and ex-whatevers in mixed company. I love Python but have come close to murdering him a few times now.
Today I lied to a car salesman. I'd been to a Citroen dealer last week wanting to drive a DS3 and the bloke gave me the bum rush saying that he didn't have a dSport in stock for a few days and would ring me when it came in. I went to the Citroen dealer in the next town and they had 4 of them for me to try so that's where I'm doing business.
The first guy phoned me today and I told him I'm buying a Ford instead. Tough.
He'll get a shock when he sees me in a DS3 ... and that's likely to happen because he lives in the village.
I find reactions towards me much less violent than to guys who quote Python. I mean, I've got a friend who regularly starts talking about shrubberies and ex-whatevers in mixed company. I love Python but have come close to murdering him a few times now.
Today I lied to a car salesman. I'd been to a Citroen dealer last week wanting to drive a DS3 and the bloke gave me the bum rush saying that he didn't have a dSport in stock for a few days and would ring me when it came in. I went to the Citroen dealer in the next town and they had 4 of them for me to try so that's where I'm doing business.
The first guy phoned me today and I told him I'm buying a Ford instead. Tough.
He'll get a shock when he sees me in a DS3 ... and that's likely to happen because he lives in the village.
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"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how the Tatty 100 is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan
"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how the Tatty 100 is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan
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I'd been to a Citroen dealer last week wanting to drive a DS3 and the bloke gave me the bum rush saying that he didn't have a dSport in stock for a few days and would ring me when it came in.
Last edited by VFN; 04-18-14 at 04:05 PM.
Laziness.
As an ex car salesman myself I know the type a mile off. When they're doing a contract hire deal they're basically just order-taking, not 'selling' the car for as much profit as they can get. The contact hire company buys the car direct from the manufacturer (at a big discount usually) and the dealership is just there to facilitate the process. Thus, the salesman will get a relatively small referral bonus for doing the work instead of a percentage of the profits as in a normal sale.
How does a dealership make any money from contract hires? Back end, basically - They'll service the car for 3 years and charge the hire company plus they'll get a new car registration which will go towards their monthly target.
Selling 101 ends.
As an ex car salesman myself I know the type a mile off. When they're doing a contract hire deal they're basically just order-taking, not 'selling' the car for as much profit as they can get. The contact hire company buys the car direct from the manufacturer (at a big discount usually) and the dealership is just there to facilitate the process. Thus, the salesman will get a relatively small referral bonus for doing the work instead of a percentage of the profits as in a normal sale.
How does a dealership make any money from contract hires? Back end, basically - They'll service the car for 3 years and charge the hire company plus they'll get a new car registration which will go towards their monthly target.
Selling 101 ends.
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Does it go to 11...0kpm?
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You bought a DS3? Hope you get lucky, mate.
We have them and well, let's just say my colleagues of our damage department are already scheming to pull a plastic bag over our fleet manager's head, and dump her body in the trunk of a total loss, so she can't order any more of them.
We have them and well, let's just say my colleagues of our damage department are already scheming to pull a plastic bag over our fleet manager's head, and dump her body in the trunk of a total loss, so she can't order any more of them.
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What are the complaints?
I've got a friend who's just bought her second one and the first didn't miss a beat. The last Citroen I had (a C4 Coupe) went through 5 safety recalls in 3 years and I was sad to see it go. Compared to the Astra I have now it was less powerful, less well equipped and less well built. Driving the thing, I'd take the C4 every time and that was what I felt when I drove the DS3.
Reliability is a factor, yes, but it's not a major issue for me. Childish as it may seem, having fun on B roads is a bigger one.
I've got a friend who's just bought her second one and the first didn't miss a beat. The last Citroen I had (a C4 Coupe) went through 5 safety recalls in 3 years and I was sad to see it go. Compared to the Astra I have now it was less powerful, less well equipped and less well built. Driving the thing, I'd take the C4 every time and that was what I felt when I drove the DS3.
Reliability is a factor, yes, but it's not a major issue for me. Childish as it may seem, having fun on B roads is a bigger one.
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Some really simple stuff like:
- fuel meters not going all the way up when the tank is filled to the brim
- electric windows not going all the way up or down
- Issues with servicing and other dashboard notices. Not really cool when your clients call you to say the car is asking for an urgent service when it had less than 400 miles on the counter.
- breaks failing, as in: OMFG I DON'T HAVE ANY BRAKES ANY MORE (while doing 70 mph). W've had this four times so far, once due to the cruise control staying locked in.
- recalls. If there's one thing we just don't want, ever, it's recalls. Had them once with a batch of 15 we bought. Great fun.
- Issues with the timing chain when the car doesn't even have 5000 miles.
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Those are hire cars?
It might sound weird but none of that bothers me. Even my Astra, which is as monotonously reliable as anything I've owned, has had its service light coming on from a week after it was last serviced and my cruise control has not only locked on, but locked on accelerating. Which was fun.
After spending the vast majority of my working life in the motor trade I look at cars maybe a bit differently to most people. When I was a kid I had Ferrari and Lamborghini posters on my wall; once I'd reached my late 20s I had a WRX Impreza in my garage but would drive any old snotter home from work as long as it had an MOT and Tax on the windscreen. I took the family on a driving holiday to France one year in a Fiesta S because I was fed up driving Mondeos.
Cars these days are fickle beasts, and the electronics are usually the cause. I've got a mate who runs his own bodyshop and he's just spent thousands on a diagnostics machine for, I think, Renaults. He's had to buy separate ones for Fords, VWs, Toyotas etc because the only way an independent mechanic can fix the majority of problems in modern cars is to literally plug them into a computer.
This is why the best car I've ever owned was my first one, a 1985 Fiat Uno. Bits would fall off it regularly and all you'd generally need to fix it was a set of jacks, a wrench and the phone number of the local breakers yard. Happy days.
It might sound weird but none of that bothers me. Even my Astra, which is as monotonously reliable as anything I've owned, has had its service light coming on from a week after it was last serviced and my cruise control has not only locked on, but locked on accelerating. Which was fun.
After spending the vast majority of my working life in the motor trade I look at cars maybe a bit differently to most people. When I was a kid I had Ferrari and Lamborghini posters on my wall; once I'd reached my late 20s I had a WRX Impreza in my garage but would drive any old snotter home from work as long as it had an MOT and Tax on the windscreen. I took the family on a driving holiday to France one year in a Fiesta S because I was fed up driving Mondeos.
Cars these days are fickle beasts, and the electronics are usually the cause. I've got a mate who runs his own bodyshop and he's just spent thousands on a diagnostics machine for, I think, Renaults. He's had to buy separate ones for Fords, VWs, Toyotas etc because the only way an independent mechanic can fix the majority of problems in modern cars is to literally plug them into a computer.
This is why the best car I've ever owned was my first one, a 1985 Fiat Uno. Bits would fall off it regularly and all you'd generally need to fix it was a set of jacks, a wrench and the phone number of the local breakers yard. Happy days.
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This is why the best car I've ever owned was my first one, a 1985 Fiat Uno. Bits would fall off it regularly and all you'd generally need to fix it was a set of jacks, a wrench and the phone number of the local breakers yard. Happy days.
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Yep, I can remember having a front spring collapse on two separate occasions on the way to work but the little car still made it in, even though it looked like it had had a mild stroke. Repair was £15 for a 'new' spring from the breakers yard.
Then there was the time when a front brake calliper fell off while going down a hill...
Then there was the time when a front brake calliper fell off while going down a hill...
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I'm generally not precious about my cars but thought I'd take a photo as soon as I got it home, safe in the knowledge that it'll never be as shiny again. The cat repellent spray has also been purchased.
30 miles on the clock now...
30 miles on the clock now...
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