Joel's Reviews

Well, it's another Farelly bros movie, and as usual it has good patches and rough patches. The humor often comes off silly and lightweight, but once in a while, the cast knocks it out of the park. Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow really deliver outstanding performances here, which seems like a small miracle to me, based on the kind of movie this is.

Jack Black plays a surface obsessed jerk who goes after beautiful women who are clearly out of his social league. He wants supermodel hot chicks to date him and his entire life is basically just one rejection after another, but that doesn't stop him. I guess you could call him Tenacious. Get it?

After getting stuck in an elevator with a self help guru (played by Tony Robbins, essentially playing himself), this "shallow Hal" resurfaces into the world seeing only the inner beauty of people, and the results appeal to him as what he craves: supermodel hotness.

He scores with a sweet honey haired blonde (played by Paltrow) and develops a deep relationship, all the while, by mere chance, chatting up her wealthy father, who just so happens to be his boss at work.

He sees his new girlfriend as this ultra hot thin bombshell of a woman, and he just cannot wrap his head around why her self esteem is so low. Gwyneth really plays this role to perfection. Most of the screen time we really don't see much of her real appearance, but we know she is overweight in these brief shots of the "real world", but her tone is dead on as a girl who's used to being dumped on.

Now, this movie was panned for reasons I do not entirely agree with. It is true that a beautiful girl like Paltrow indeed carries the look of this film through most of the haul, but what I thought was bold, and inevitable, is that we eventually see her as the fat person she is, and from that we get a very heartfelt performance by Jack Black in a few brief moments where his face does all of the work. Hal starts seeing all of the people he saw "under the spell" as who they really are without his "beer goggles" on, and the revelation that these little children he visited at the hospital for his GF's charity work are actual burn unit survivors comes crashing down on him, when not just a few weeks prior, he had seen them as genetically flawless little tv looking children. The Farelly's really choose the right music at the key scenes (for once), and mixed with Black's depth as a person (yes, it's true), this becomes some very effective drama.

I laughed quite a bit at Shallow Hal, and enjoyed it much more this time around. However, I have a real gripe with the Farelly Bros' sensibilities. They always blow their endings with a happy-go-lucky bow-tie that is really hard to stomach. With There's Something About Mary it was sing-along that drove me nuts, and now with Shallow Hal, it's basically the same type of thing. Just this forced uplifting finale that could have afforded to have been removed. If they had just ended the film on a real note, it would have been a much, much better picture. I literally want to shake them and scream at them for this. They got such great performances, and shook off their contradictory comedy dust with the resolve, only to completely mash it out with a superficial ending. I hate that way of thinking. They don't trust their audience as being intelligent enough to take a lull down into misty eyed territory. They are afraid of tonal shifts that go past an 1/8th of an inch.

He watches out for the kids, even having to aggressively escort an old pervert off of the property. We see his rage in that brief moment where he calls out a criminal's number.


I think this might have been my favorite scene in the movie and I think this scene alone earned Dafoe his Oscar nomination.

Excellent review Joel.

Light bulb moment Re The Shallows. All the fanbois who obsessed over ms Blakely's ass cam!

I've just rewatched The Entity and what you describe adds considerably to that film as well, especially on a psychological level.

"That's a damn good picture"

The way this movie starts off had me really nervous and bummed out. I had literally just debited the last 4 dollars out of a 5 dollar bank account balance just to see this movie since the cast is amazing. I'd never heard of D'Angelo's stuff before so I took a chance since John Ashton and Burt Young in the same movie as a Baldwin and Aiello can't possibly be a complete piece of shlt. Well, I was wrong. That is until I got to about the 1/2 way point of the film. Once the movie starts unfolding all of it's threads and that business is done and over (it was tedious to sit through), the film picked up my interest. The actors got to finally take over (which is a good thing). Early on, all of the production difficulties were pissing me off. Boom shadows, audio drop-outs (lack of well mixed foley and ambient sound), the editing was super awkward, and the movie didn't flow at all. Shoot, within the first major drone camera scene, I got treated to that red only black and white effect I have seen enough of already! My eyes rolled so hard that they actually made a squishy and clacking sound inside of my eyeball sockets.

But this was early on. I almost shut this down. Serious. I was getting really upset at the amateurish production and incompetent coverage and pacing of the film.

Once the story started breathing a bit, and the actors were allowed decent enough 2-3 camera set ups, I relaxed, and the writing and script started gelling together. I finally understood all of the flash backs and flash sideways scenes.

I'm not saying the editor was an ape. I'm not saying that. I am not psychic, and don't know if people's post production availabilities for loopings and re-shoots were impossible, but I will say that a lot of the "stylistic" choices were not my cup of tea. One scene where the object of affection for the main character, she says "I take care of my mother", and right then we get a white flash transition for the scene of her caring for her dementia ridden mom. And..that's fine, but it was jarring. Also, the red helmet motorcycle scene in black and white was an old trick used in music vids back int eh 1980's so..it made me loudly roll my eyes, as mentioned.

I think some of these scenes may've been added back in because the director figured this might be a bomb and he wanted everything in the final render for perspective. Kind of a "f#ck it, throw it all in" moment in the editing suite? Just a hunch.

Hey, it helped, for what it's worth. Eventually the story goes on and things get at the very least...semi interesting, ..and, by the end of the film - I actually cared about everyone. There were some strong dramatic scenes that worked. The themes of loyalty, friendship and taking care of your own were intensified in what seems to me to be a work of passion. This is a good story in the giant sea of crime films, but it's just too bad that the troubled production (seems obvious enough when you watch it) kind of has this picture cobbled together and hobbling along, and that may turn some people off who start to watch. I almost shut it down. Glad I didn't, though. It's one of the few movies of recent memory that actually improves if you give it a chance.

Barry Levinson's follow up to 1982's Diner has his Baltimore, MD stomping ground set in 1963, revolving around 2 camps of aluminum siding salesmen who run in packs, often copping each other's tricks of the trade and celebrating commissions at swanky dance clubs when night falls.

Immediately the film's gorgeously photographed detail shots of new model cadillacs perks the viewer's attention, and the film to follow this opening is just as crisp. Levinson had delivered a very witty screenplay and rolled his sleeves up for a very fleshed out comedy drama that features nuanced performances across the board.

DeVito does his usual fast talking sleaze ball to perfection while Dreyfuss sticks to his jewish street savvy tough guy persona that allows him to crank up the comedy with manic explosions. Perhaps, though, the biggest accolade I can give the film is the quiet performance by Barbara Hershey who uses her natural screen magnetism to play an every-woman so well. She is the thread that holds all of this together as she teeters between the two leads as a wife and a lover, respectively.

The supporting cast are all endowed with great lines tapped and tempered from Barry's fresh script, and this highly original piece of work seems very well protected by everyone involved. There are no mistakes here. This is gentleman league storytelling and though this film was not a smash hit, it confidently floats along time, gaining more distinguished appeal with each passing year. This is attributed in no small part to not only the sharp photography, but the costuming and set design. Every character is given a note to play with aesthetically, and play with it they do.

Some highlights include music by Fine Young Cannibals, who at the time, had just been releasing their controversially brilliant 2nd studio album consisting of 1960's styled R&B numbers as well as cutting edge dance hall singles. Their appearance in the film is included in one of the most satisfying editorial choices of the run time and that is when B roll shots case the nightclub in which they play.

I can't really say anything bad about Tin Men. It is exactly what it intends to be.

I didn't think much of Tin Men when I saw it in the late 80's. I suspect I'd like it more now.

I used to think it was bland back in the day. As an adult I see it with the right perspective. I mean, I was like 11 years old. I wanted Stakeout.

I've seen very brief clips of it when I was in my teens and have avoided it like the plague because I didn't want to remember Candy in the way of having this as his last film. Am I safe now, though? As a mature adult? lol

It's safe! Wagons East was a lot better than I thought. Though, it's definitely an ensemble cast. Candy's role isn't all that big.

Is there any of Candy's films you haven't seen? I've think I've seen them all, except some of this early bit parts in films.

I haven't seen all of Candy's films, but I've seen the good ones, haha!

I even started to watch one he directed called..hmm..forgot the name..google it and it's on youtube to watch in full.

Oh, Hostage for a Day is the name of it. It's not bad..I mean, it's not good, but after a lousy and corny opening, it actually picks up a bit and kind of gets silly again...I think if he had lived, he would have been a decent director with more experience. He has nods to Hughes' style in this movie.

There all good! Well at least I haven't seen a Candy film that wasn't worth watching. Hey, you got me on Hostage for a Day, I've never seen that one I'll have to give it a look, thanks

Some quickie reviews

Locke (2013) - all talk, no real action, and basically a one man show with voices over bluetooth in a car is the premise. This is no My Dinner with Andre but I was compelled enough to not shut it off, and by the end, I felt I had seen a very good film.

Star Wars - The Last Jedi (2017) - Very much in line with Empire Strikes Back, or is it? Who cares? I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would. The new proper sequels are very well done and more importantly well meaning. It's true that the charisma is missing a bit from some of the cast but director Rian Johnson's humor makes up for some of that. The humor is kind of bonkers and very unlike the humor of past SW films. It's as if Terry Gilliam slipped in there, or maybe even Jean-Pierre Jeunet. We see the empire's clothes being automatically ironed, Skywalker grunt and swills green milk from a disgusting mammoths teat, and his fishing pole! Look at the size of that thing! Good fun, amazing pacing and action sequences/editing/effects, and a bit of bad-assery as one would hope for. Solid, solid installment. As for the complaints of the female jedi's lineage...um..like..who cares? Flowers come from shlt, great art comes from nothing...stop being so romantic and enjoy the movie. Weird humor beats out typical crowd pleasing humor any day of the week for this viewer. Score for The Last Jedi!

Pee Wee's Big Holiday (2016) - John Lee's directorial take on Paul Reubens' Pee Wee Herman is no Tim Burton take on the big PW, but he does inject some great humorous bits. This is a strange homoerotic comedy that hits the marks that past Pee Wee always aimed for and usually bullseyed. Humor that is good for kids in a creative way, but still packing enough left over lunch for adults to snack on if they're weird, too. The thing that makes this a step or two down from Burton's film, and I hate to compare but - how can I not? - is the way it's lit and shot. No extravagant sets, nor any moody lighting. Everything is bright, white and smooth. It's more in line with Big Top Pee Wee look-wise, but still manages to have a few dark moments to savor, and is certainly a welcome return.

How it Ends (2018) - Run of the mill in just about every way, this apocalypse "thriller" has no real destination and struggles, or should I say refuses, to engage the viewer on barely any level aside from some decent visuals that carry no weight for a truly unexciting story. Here's another yawnfest rehash film where the cast are uninspired and badly chosen, the one shining star in Whitaker is completely wasted, and the ending ...well, the ending basically makes fun of itself because there are so many ways to use the title in a derogatory way. For example ..."I really, really do not like HOW IT ENDS!!"

Cold in July

Totally worthwhile chameleon picture that shifts tones similar to Demme's Something Wild. OK, so it's not nearly as masterful as that movie, but it is a refreshing change of pace to a lot of the ultra self serious movies coming out this decade that always concentrate on how icy and sophisticated they are by, what?, pushing the blue shadow areas in the color timing and being f-ck-all boring and un-engaging with bad casting choices that are always made on genetics rather than actual charisma.

Enter Don Johnson and Sam Shepard (in one of his final roles). There's a point when you realize that this movie can do anything, and it sometimes seems like it does. It allowed me to fill in the blanks with my kid imagination, and I can never get enough of movies that do stuff like that. There aren't many. It plays its cards close to the sleeve. Very subtle movements, but the color changes are tremendous. Very, very fun and intense film. I've seen it twice now and I am sure I will see it again.

Very well acted and edited movie that is both gruesome and interesting. This is different work from Cronenberg, who usually doesn't stray too far from the surreal style he's known for. I found myself coming back to this after seeing it in the theaters when it came out and not being too impressed with it then. Glad I gave it a second shot, though. If there's one thing that seemed out of place it was William Hurt's casting. I like William Hurt a lot, but his place in this movie actually helps it lose some believability because his method as a bad guy seems so pretentious and hammy. Maybe the next time I watch this - I'll warm up to his work.

OK, an assorted movie with a thin plot broken up into game-like segments has a few things going for it.

When was the last time you saw full frontal nudity in a PG-13 film? Think LONG and HARD about that.

The Woman in Red shows Kelly LeBrock's vagina for about 1 second as she turns away. In Dreamscape you had breasts (but only in the 4:3 non-cropped home video version from Thorn EMI). In National Lampoon's European Vacation you had boobs at a nightclub with strippers, and then a little more action when Rusty takes a German beer girl behind a set of bushes and she opens her blouse.

But what about full nudity? I'm talking breasts, vagina, and butt in generous, unobscured glry, as if this was an R rated teen romp sex comedy.

Well, within the first two minutes of The Dungeonmaster you get this.

You also get nicely rendered visual effects in the form of color outline glows around people and things, electricity crawls, lasers (lots of lasers), ranging from red to blue to purple....and thin set design that still manages to look inspired, if not cheap and goofy.

This is not a good movie, but it is a good movie to watch if you crave b movie overload.

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!"

I chose this for the B-Movie HoF

I remember seeing this as a kid, my parents had it on VHS. So I tracked it down on DVD and bought it in a 4 pack with other classics like Cellar Dweller, Catacombs& Contamination 7. I've yet to watch any of the other 3.

What immediately caught my attention was that opening naked dream sequence. Without a doubt that was not in the original release. That HAD to have been added after the fact. Right? I would have remembered that opening scene as a kid.

Anyways, this movie is cheese and all over the place. It's sci/fi it's fantasy it's horror. I like it for the trash value. Good movie? No.

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"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."

Suspect's Reviews