Godzilla vs Kong: Damn those fight scenes are amazing

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Godzilla Vs Kong

There was no way in hell this movie could ever satisfy my needs. All I wanted was an hour and 15 minutes of these two fighting and then another 30 minutes of them fighting Mechagodzilla. I knew this would never have happened and that they would insert some sort of ****ty human element and try to add a story in this movie. Which is exactly what they did in Godzilla: King of the Monsters. Similar to that movie no one gives a **** about the humans. We all just wanted to watch a giant ape punch a massive lizard in the face. Then to have them team up and punch a massive robot in its head. Realistically all I wanted was the humans here to just say release Mechagodzilla and that's it. The script could have been about one page long for all I care. Ultimately though this movie isn't just constant fight scenes over and over again (really wish it was) and the director tried his best to flesh a story out for this movie.

The good

The fight scenes
Gee what a shock that the fight scenes here are amazing, as they should be. Round 1 out at sea was a nice first round of fighting, definitely got you pumped for more. That ****ing Hong-Kong fight scene though, boom son amazing. When Kong got that ax and was swinging like it like there was no tomorrow, man **** was badass. They underplayed Godzilla's capabilities a little here. In King of the Monsters, he was way more powerful than in this. I mean **** he went nuclear in that, here not so much. Even with them underplaying his powers, he still basically killed Kong. The first half of the Hong Kong fight so I guess Round 2, goes to Kong. He was able to control the fight and evaded Zillas power. He made sure Zilla couldn’t use his firepower and controlled his mouth. Solid 10-9 round for him. Round 3 though not so much. Godzilla came out firing in the final round and KO Kong, leaving him for dead. So Round 3 goes to Godzilla as well. Mechagodzilla was bad-ass too. I mean you would have to be badass to kick the crap out of both these big boys at the same time. The real highlight was Kong and Godzilla working together. They put a centuries-long grudge to rest real quick when they realized they were gonna need to beat the **** out of a big-ass robot. Them two got on the same page real quick and worked well together. Almost liked they had planned this the whole time. These three monstrosities absolutely level Hong Kong. There is no way that place can ever recover from this devastation. I'd say they did about a trillion dollars in damage to this once large city. Dude Mechagodzilla even took out a whole damn mountain. R.I.P Hong Kong there is no coming back from that. OH yeah, Godzilla also put a hole through the CD leading to hollow earth so best of luck filling that damn thing in. Apex Cybernetics will never financially recover from this.

Adam Wingard
Wingard’s fight scene work was lit (do the cool kids still use this phrase?). He really submersed you into the fight with his camera work, and his music did a great job building up the fights. At times, you felt like you were actually part of the fight. Especially when he switched it up and went into a first-person view during the fight. He also did a good job paying his respects to these two legends. It goes without saying but Godzilla is going to destroy some sort of Asian city. Whether it’s Tokyo or Hong Kong, them buildings are gonna fall. He even recreated that infamous Empire State Building scene that Kong is most known for. Instead, he had a massive crane in his hand that he was going to try and kill Godzilla with. As far as action scenes go this man knew what he was doing here.

Deaf girl
She was the only good thing that the humans could offer here. For the most part, the humans in this movie are useless (trust me ill cover that soon) but this one little deaf girl was the heart and soul of this movie. She was a nice emotional touch throughout the whole thing. She and Kong’s connection was needed here. It made you root for Kong in the fights against Godzilla. Even though both were protecting humanity, you still kind of wanted Kong to win, because of this one little girl. Anyways this tiny little deaf girl was a shining light in a sea of dumb and useless human beings.

The Bad
Humanity
What a shock but the humans in this movie ****ing sucked a bag of baby dicks. Outside the deaf little girl, there isn't one person in this movie you were rooting for. Even before the head of Apex started speaking you could tell he was a dirty douche bag. He just has such an untrustworthy face. Then when he started to talk you could tell immediately, oh this is a shady-ass dude. Everyone in here was useless. At least in the other Godzilla movies, the humans got involved somehow. They aided Godzilla against Rodan, King Ghidorah, and others. Not here though. You would figure they would try to help once a giant robot started destroying everything but nah us humans had other **** to do. I also call some bull**** on Apex being able to afford all this ****. I don’t what they do for their actual income but it's not enough to cover their expenses. Creating Mechagodzilla was not cheap at all. They even made a tunnel that goes from America to Hong Kong. Which would probably be very impossible and probably even more costly than Mechagodzilla. I doubt they were making money off of either of these business adventures. I guess it doesn't matter how much money they once had because they can never recover from having a major city be destroyed, that’s going to be a PR nightmare.

Wasted characters

They wasted a slew of talented actors and a ton of potential here. The usually solid Alexander Skarssgardd (or however you spell his name) was terrible here. His character was lame, and he clearly was just here for the paycheck. Kyle Chandler was reduced to a cameo role and that’s a shame. He and the Japanese scientist from King of Monsters were the heart and soul of that film. Here he is just a worried dad that offers nothing. The conspiracy theory guy was annoying and terrible. Winston Duke (dude from Black Panther, Us, and the only remotely good thing about Spenser Confidential) would have been perfect for this role, but even he probably realized it was a bad role to take. Millie Bobby Brown offered nothing after being a major focus in the previous movie. The fat kid from Christmas Chronicle 2 and Deadpool 2 officially sucks in my book. The kid sucks in all those movies, and he is garbage here. Add in some terrible dialogue mainly from the daughter of the evil guy, and you have some weak ass characters.

Story

Yeah, **** the whole hollow Earth bull****. That whole thing was dumb and went on for too long. Looks cool but overstayed its purpose. Just too much chit-chat and took away from the fighting. Who the **** built these statues and huge door though? Was there a bunch of little Kong's running around with hardhats and blueprints building ****? I asked the same thing in King of the Monsters when they went to Godzilla lair. Who the **** built all these temples and buildings that are underwater? They never clarified who built any of these structures. Some more dumb **** was when they poured whiskey on the computer. Oh, yeah like just pouring some whiskey on a multimillion-dollar computer is going to short circuit it, get out of here with that weak ****. Yeah, I call bull**** on Eleven or whatever her character’s name in this is, and her dad magically finding each other in Hong Kong. That's a very large city or at least I assume it is, **** if I actually know, but no way they are basically one street over from one another.

Overall this movie is full of epic fight scenes that would make any movie a 10 out of 10. Unfortunately, you can't say the same about the rest of the movie. This movie is exactly what you wanted. Two big monsters throwing down for a few rounds. If you wanted or were expecting some sort of proper storyline and **** then you are a big dummy and need to realize that. Sure you can call me out on my bull**** of complaining about the characters here, but I expected them to be chit-chatting **** bags. Shin Godzilla remains the best Godzilla movie I have seen, but this one might just be the most fun to watch. This movie is just big dumb fun, so kick back and enjoy the two legends ****ing each other up. 8/10

Oh, yeah one more thing Godzilla definitely kicked the **** out of Kong, so that debate is over.
A second more thing the key to re-watching this movie is to fast-forward any time a human opens their stupid mouth.

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