Unnecessary Gritty Reboots

Pitch your idea for a reboot that takes a previously upbeat story, and turn it into a film reaking of darkness.

My idea: White House

A dark, gritty adaptation of the 1942 classic "Casablanca", with Rick (Scott Eastwood) being an undercover U.S. Operative in North Korea. After an incident in his restaurant, he must attack Kim Jong Un (Ken Jeong) himself, with the help of the beautiful Ilsa (Cara Delevingne).

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A man's got to know his limitations.

Evolution... I'd simply remake it, but I'd remove the humour completely, the entire thing would be an epic rather than the small-scale-threatening-to-get-larger thing... and have:
Jason Statham in Duchovny's role
Denzel Washington in Orlando Jones' role
I'd take Seann William Scott's role and make him an older and experienced Fire Fighter (as opposed to the original young comic relief) played by Matthew McConaughey
Julianne Moore's role would go to Megan Fox so Statham would have a skinny waif as a love interest (all 80s style)
Ted Levin's military role played by John Lithgow, being as mean and evil as he was in Cliffhanger
Mayor role played by Dan Aykroyd would be played by Jon Voight... but the Jon Voight brooding style we know from Deliverance

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