Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

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The Phantom Menace is one of the worst films ever made, period. Actually, films have sets and stuff, so I won't even call it a film. It's a jacked-up pre-pubescent commercial for action figures and computer games.
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Sedai - that description sounds like it could be applied to every other Star Wars movie to be honest. But it can't be, so eh, I don't know. Just making an observation.
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I was never alive when the original films were in theatres, so my "Star Wars" era were these films.

I saw TPM and thought to myself...is that it? The same with the later two films.

These films never changed my generation like the original films did with my parents.

That's why Lord Of The Rings is my generation of "awe" and "inspiration".
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I agree that the Lord of the Rings trilogy is made much better than any of the Star Wars movies - but I love the Star Wars universe of characters and locations much more than the stuff in Lord of the Rings.
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Star Wars Episode II : Attack of the Clones



Attack of the Clones is the weak point of the saga. It's love story may be fine , but there is no strong plot driving the rest of the movie - instead it's Obi-Wan just happening to find out about crazy thing after another.

Set about 12-16 years after Phantom Menace , Anakin and Obi-Wan are assigned to protect senator Amidalla - when a series of failed assassination attempts forces the jedis to found who the killer is. Eventually Anakin is assigned to guard Amidalla by himself - for his first solo mission , while Obi-Wan discovers a gigantic army to be made for the republic.

My biggest problem with this movie is that it doesn't have any focus on a solid story - all it does is set you up for the next movie. It also only has one really cool huge action scene , which is a big downgrade from Phantom Menace which was filled with them. Another thing that adds to this are the sometimes lacking special effects. There is still a lot of eye candy , but there are so many points in this movie where you can see the obvious use of green screens it's irritating.

Even though it is still a little fun , it's the weakest movie of all of them. Action , acting , excitement , and special effects all a downgrade from the previous installment.




You're a Genius all the time
Nice Star Wars reviews, Wad, even though I don't really agree with the ratings. I do feel, though, that if I had never seen the original trilogy, I would be able to enjoy the three newer movies a little more. Because looking at them objectively, as they are, they're pretty fun flicks and a solid six hours of disposable entertainment.

But since they do systematically rape a large chunk of nostalgia from my childhood, I have a hard time watching them objectively.



Star Wars Episode III : Revenge of the Sith



The final movie of the prequels succeeds as a great star wars film by using a really fast paced story , top notch special effects , very emotional scenes , and tons of gigantic battle scenes / lightsaber duels. Although there are some moments where the dialogue seems lifted from a power rangers episode - it's proves to me that the prequel trilogy has been a good addition rather a bad one.

It picks up near the end of the Clone War (republic vs trade federation) , where Chancellor Palpatine has been kidnapped by the powerful sith Count Dooku. Obi-Wan and Anakin navigate their way through a gigantic space battle to reach the highly guarded Chancellor in one of the most intense scenes of the really fast movie. As you probably know over the course of the movie you see how the emperor Darth Sidius comes to power and makes Anakin into his apprentice.

This one takes a lot of what was best about Episode II and actually worked it into a action filled story. The duel between Yoda and Sidius takes the previous Yoda fight to a whole new level and the battles between the clones and battle droids are much bigger in this one as well.

Unlike the previous one , lots of the super obvious green screen moments are absent here - although you still can see a few. My main problem is the climax of Obi-Wan and Anakin. The very worst dialogue of any movie is pretty much located at the end of this movie.

"If your not with me , than you're my enemy !"
" You will try ! "

That aside this is the fastest paced Star Wars and goes nicely into the original trilogy. It takes it spot as 5th place from me.




You're a Genius all the time
My main problem is the climax of Obi-Wan and Anakin. The very worst dialogue of any movie is pretty much located at the end of this movie.

"If your not with me , than you're my enemy !"
" You will try ! "
That is a pretty godawful exchange of dialogue. I haven't seen Revenge of the Sith in a while, but off the top of my head, I'd say the dumbest bit is still...

"You can't win, Anakin! I have the high ground!"

I wonder how embarassed Ewan Mcgregor felt after he had said that.



Star Wars Episode II : Attack of the Clones



Attack of the Clones is the weak point of the saga. It's love story may be fine , but there is no strong plot driving the rest of the movie - instead it's Obi-Wan just happening to find out about crazy thing after another.

Set about 12-16 years after Phantom Menace , Anakin and Obi-Wan are assigned to protect senator Amidalla - when a series of failed assassination attempts forces the jedis to found who the killer is. Eventually Anakin is assigned to guard Amidalla by himself - for his first solo mission , while Obi-Wan discovers a gigantic army to be made for the republic.

My biggest problem with this movie is that it doesn't have any focus on a solid story - all it does is set you up for the next movie. It also only has one really cool huge action scene , which is a big downgrade from Phantom Menace which was filled with them. Another thing that adds to this are the sometimes lacking special effects. There is still a lot of eye candy , but there are so many points in this movie where you can see the obvious use of green screens it's irritating.

Even though it is still a little fun , it's the weakest movie of all of them. Action , acting , excitement , and special effects all a downgrade from the previous installment.

I Thought AotC Took Place 10 Years After tPM?



Dude, how in the hell are you rating these movies so well? The acting, all by it's self, is enough to give it two thumbs down. Then, if you want, for fun, take the composition and editing into an even crummier account, and you could point other stuff toward the dirt, which is where those movies belong, in a stagnate mud puddle that smells like dirty ass.
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Dude, how in the hell are you rating these movies so well? The acting, all by it's self, is enough to give it two thumbs down. Then, if you want, for fun, take the composition and editing into an even crummier account, and you could point other stuff toward the dirt, which is where those movies belong, in a stagnate mud puddle that smells like dirty ass.
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Well, I sorta like the Prequels too, but they don't rate with the originals. Then again, I've embarrassed myself enough in public at various sites about them. Even so, I suggest that you watch them all, so you can make your own decision. But I also recommend that you start with Star Wars (1977) because otherwise, I'd forget the whole enchilada.
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Dude, how in the hell are you rating these movies so well? The acting, all by it's self, is enough to give it two thumbs down. Then, if you want, for fun, take the composition and editing into an even crummier account, and you could point other stuff toward the dirt, which is where those movies belong, in a stagnate mud puddle that smells like dirty ass.
*Ahem* So Mr. The Pimp... What would you rate these modern day classics then?



I'm not sure where I got these pics from but they do seem familiar do they not?
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Burn After Reading (1 view)



The Coen brothers return to the comedy genre with the fun but small Burn After Reading. There are a couple big laughs through-out , but it's over too quick and thats my problem with the whole movie - a lack of content.

This film really belongs to it's cast - rather than it's story. George Clooney is brilliant as a paranoid cheating husband and the same can be said about any other actor in the movie. Brad Pitt is easily my favorite though and I wish there had been more of him in the movie. Frances McDormand's character is a great representation of how cartoony all the characters are in the movie - she is obsessed with her plastic surgeries and black mails CIA agent John Malkovich with the help of Brad Pitt.

Burn After Reading is a lot of fun , but it's really lacking a big amount of dialogue , characters , and story elements. The visuals also feel small. There aren't a lot of amazing shots anywhere in this movie - the majority of the movie looks pretty good , just not amazing. Another thing is the overly dramatic suspense scenes - where you start to think if the Coens realized this isn't No Country For Old Men 2.

It's fun , but not the companion of Big Lebowski I was hoping for. I'll have to see how fun it is the second viewing though , to find out if it actually is funner than the first time.