Rate The Last Movie You Saw

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Just another average Marvel movie.

Cons:
- Plot holes are way too big
- Laughable dialogue
- Lame action sequence
- Deadpool is just wrong lol

Final Rating:

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A Wrinkle In Time

10/10

no fred

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Re-watch and it is still too funny after this many years. Too many memorable scenes, lines and characters.

The Pursuit of Happyness >> 7.5/10

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I watched this for the female director's countdown. I was never interested in it when I was younger, but I have become a sucker for melodrama in recent years. I thought it was close to being great with Nick Nolte and Barbara Streisand sharing strong chemistry. There's all sorts of trauma and heartbreak to get the viewer emotionally invested. I just didn't think some of the secondary characters and their scenes were up to the task. As much as I liked it, I will think about what could have been.

The new jumanji movie.

Very forgettable. Adds nothing to the original. Doesn’t even feel like it should be a Jumanji movie if that’s makes sense. But if you need to switch your brain off for an hour or so, need something light hearted...it’s watchable.

2/5

I lol'd because this is pretty much what I thought word for word. I see so many people on the net saying they cried, especially men. Either I have no heart or I just didnt connect because I didnt have any tearies. I cry in other romances so I was expecting to. I think I empathised more with the parents who I thought were awesome.

So did i Derek, especially the creepy bath scene. WTF???

Sorry camo, that rep was an accident. Stupid twitching hands. I thought you would have atleast liked the end. That made me hit the roof.

The Creep i said is one of the worst films i've ever seen is a different film, the one Cricket described in this sentence:

I haven't seen the one you're talking about.

OK i'm up to speed now.

Well if it helps I am completely over found footage so I was surprised to really like it. The mood is very well done and I think that's a directorial debut so it's a shame the next one is bad. So far I've liked everything Cricket has recommended.

So it wasnt even better in retrospect? Bugger. I was really looking forward to that. I'll see it anyway, of course, and maybe with low expectations I will enjoy it more than you guys. I started watching Star Wars with husband last night and after the epic discussion on this board I found I really enjoyed it as a popcorn kick your feet up flic. The humour was really good. So were the visuals.

Suna no onna [Woman In The Dunes] (Hiroshi Teshigahara, 1964)
Captivating for most of it's runtime

Nice to see another one of my tournament noms was enjoyed.

It's extremely hard to get "into" a murder mystery film when you already know the outcome. In this remake of the 70's classic, based on Agatha Christie's novel from the 30's, we have famous faces sitting around for a few minutes telling some lies / half truths / whatever and zero tension. Again, I'll reiterate, maybe this film would have worked better had I not known the outcome.

Hercule Poirot is on the Orient Express with a dozen or so other riders. He shouldn't be there, but he knows the owner and needs a ride. After finding his way on, he meets a few peculiar characters and one shady looking fellow with some secrets. That shady fellow fears for his life and finds himself dead the next morning. With the train stuck on the tracks due to an avalanche, Poirot uses this time to find out who the murderer is.

Branagh tries his best to get in some fancy camera work within the confined spaces of the train. A few overhead shots and long tracking shots stand out from this typically shot murder mystery. I do wish that Branagh used the coldness of his environment a tad more, adding to the desperate tension that this film needed. I think he relies too heavily on the cast being famous, despite their lack of screen time. Each character is given a scene or two to give their "story", I feel like Branagh had an opportunity to flesh out each person a bit more instead of sticking to their "motive/alibi" bits. People like Dafoe, Cruz and others are wasted here.

An unnecessary prologue goes on a bit too long, it wants to set up Poirot's skills as a detective, but the sequence is an odd mixture of being too quick with the solving and too slow for the film. We are thrown into this case at the very end of it and I had to roll my eyes at the cane precognition. The set design for the train is superb, the setting felt real to me and 'almost' like another character.

This remake looks sleek, but feels empty. A big cast does nothing to sell the characters and the familiar story makes this film a little slow to get through. Props to the mustache though, that looks killer.

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Suspect's Reviews

I surprisingly liked both Creep films!!!!

I've watched so many movies featuring teen girls for the female director's countdown. Most of them have been quite good, including this one. Eventually they'll probably all blur together for me because of their similarities, but then I don't know how original these movies have the potential to be. Just focusing on the execution and the performances, I thought this movie was terrific. It certainly had the required mix of being humorous and touching, and I thought the scene when she comforts her ex was one of the best of 2017.

Lolita Vibrator Torture is um...well it's porn and it's bad porn. As a horror film it fails because the "torture" is tedious and the "porn" part fails because it's not really sexy to watch women bleed from their genitals. On the plus side it was short so I could just fast forward through most of the crap. I suppose it has decent production values but really it's just an attempt at making a pseudo-snuff film.

I only just saw there is a creep 2004 so my post above makes no sense. I haven seen that.

You made some good points. The film had almost no tension or suspense, and as an "all-star" movie, it failed. In those respects, the 1974 original was superior.

IMO Branagh should have either starred or directed. Not both. As it was I didn't believe him as Poirot. His character should have been either underplayed or overplayed. Unfortunately Branagh landed right in the middle. Even Poirot's mustache looked glued on.

I agree that some of the cast was wasted. Of all the characters Johnny Depp's performance was the one stand out (and I haven't liked Depp since Ed Wood and the first "Caribbean" picture).

They sure got the most from their various craft crews-- at $55M. And the producers are happy with many times that in return. But the idiom, or at least this story, is tired and should be left to people who would like to investigate the novel. Evidently a sequel is planned, so I hope a bunch of changes are made. But if Branagh again directs and stars, they'll need to come up with a real compelling story.

~Doc

Icarus (2017) -
The Cloverfield Paradox (2018) -
Spike Island (2012) - +

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