Dr. Death Proof's 80's Flick Extravanganza and Shenanigans

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I mainline Windex and horse tranquilizer
I am old.


I grew up watching 80's movies.


Here we shall talk about such. Possibly films hitherto unseen by the masses here.








Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982)








In the early 80's, Fred Ward was sort of an action hero. At least, until Arnold Schwarzenegger came along. Besides his memorable appearance as Remo Williams, Fred Ward was also a cross country motorcyclist sent back to the old west.






Timerider was directed by William Dear (Harry & The Hendersons, Angels in the Outfield) and co-written/scored by Michael Nesmith. (yes, "Daydream Believer" Nesmith)


Motorcyclist Lyle Swann is in a cross-country race through the Baja desert. Plagued by technical problems from his high tech gadgetry, Swann finds himself far off course and stumbles into a time travel experiment. Swann is sent back to 1877 but is unaware of what has happened at first.



Due to his red motorcycle and outfit, the Mexican locals believe he is El Diablo. Fortunately Swann is aided by a beautiful local woman, Claire, but has attracted the attention of outlaw Porter Reese and his gang. Reese obsesses on Swann's "machine" and manages to capture it and Claire. Swann teams up with two US Marshalls to rescue Claire, get his bike back and possibly return home.





I love this movie. Fred Ward plays a great clueless jerk. The lovely Belinda Bauer features as Claire, but it's the brilliant Peter Coyote as Porter Reese who really steals the show. With a performance like this, Coyote could have been the villain in any western you could think of... Tombstone, Silverado, Back to the Future III, what have you.


I should mention that the exact date Swann goes back is November 5th, 1877. Sound familiar? It should.






The special effects - what little there are - are fair for the early 80's. Good costumes, locales, soundtrack. It does take a little while to get going but the mix of comedy and action kicks in eventually.




22 stars out of 31
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The 80s are my biggest blind spot, even though those were my teen years.
Looking forward to adding some of this to my watchlist.
Have you seen Slumber Party Massacre II? That's a fun 80s flick you might like.



Have you seen Slumber Party Massacre II? That's a fun 80s flick you might like.
Never heard of it! Can't wait to watch!

ps-- My brain always reads "Lynn Swann" instead of Lyle, leading to a brief moment of disappointment.



I mainline Windex and horse tranquilizer
Alligator (1980)







Robert Forster has long been one of the premiere underrated actors with a massive swinging dick. The Black Hole, Delta Force, Jackie Brown, Breaking Bad... I don't think the guy's ever had a bad performance. And anyone who knows me knows I like eco-horror and monster movies. Alligator gives us both - Robert Forster as a weary cop investigating deaths and body parts in the local sewer.



Turns out the alligator was flushed down the toilet years ago and survived, but had recently been feeding on pet carcasses dumped in the infused with an experimental growth formula. (Although one wonders why rats and other denizens of the sewage system didn't grow as well... then again there was Deadly Eyes in 1982 where that exact thing happened - shared universe, maybe)






Alligator was directed by Lewis Teague (Cujo, Cat's Eye, Navy SEALs) and written by John Sayles. (Piranha, Battle Beyond the Stars, E.T., and Clan of the Cave Bear)







I'd go so far as to put this in my top 3 favorite eco-horror movies, including Prophecy and Lake Placid.

Good special effects - unlike Lake Placid, which relied at least partially on CGI, Alligator used all practical effects. Including a small alligator on a scale model of a street bursting through the tarmac. The acting is fantastic. Besides Forster you have great actors like Jack Carter, Dean Jagger, and an amazing over the top performance by Henry Silva as a big game hunter. If we could somehow get a movie with Quint from Jaws, Colonel Brock from Alligator and Philip FitzRoyce from Jaws 3D hunting a megalodon or a T-Rex or a giant War Hamster it would be the greatest epic since the last greatest epic. But with sharks and hamsters.








67 teeth out of 68



The trick is not minding
I remember seeing This as a child over 30 years ago and I haven’t seen it since. I know it’s probably not the greatest, but I’ve always meant to revisit it.



Seen "Alligator" at the drive-in upon its release. Fun movie, from what I remember. But those were the days of "my chemical romance" and not the band.



And yes, Robert Forster kicks ass. He also had a good, albeit a lesser role in the film "The Descendants". (shameless plug)



I mainline Windex and horse tranquilizer
The Final Countdown (1980)






Like I'm a sucker for eco-horror, I also love time travel movies. Sadly, it seems like one of the better ones - The Final Countdown - has been forgotten.

Featuring Kirk Douglas and his massive swinging dick as the Captain in charge of the USS Nimitz, (they actually filmed on the real USS Nimitz, in cooperation with the US Navy) the aircraft carrier travels through a temporal vortex, finding themselves in the Pacific Ocean near Hawaii the day before Pearl Harbor.



Witnessing a pair of Japanese Zeros attacking a civilian yacht, the Nimitz dispatches a couple of F-14 Tomcats that obliterate the enemy fighters. And while I'm far from the warhawk mentality, it gives me a big old boner watching a couple of modern day jets shoot the shit out of a couple of old ass WWII planes.



The crew of the Nimitz then has to decide if they should interfere with the timeline by intervening in the attack on Pearl Harbor and what the consequences could be.










The Final Countdown was directed by Don Taylor (Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977) and Damien: Omen II.










The Final Countdown has a good mix of action and sci fi with pretty good special effects. A good part of the movie is the debate over changing history and what the consequences could be. Kirk Douglas shines as the Captain of the Nimitz, but Martin Sheen, James Farentino, Soon-Tek Oh and Charles Durning all turn in good performances.





1941 out of 1980 - needs more cowbell



Here's a fun tidbit: apparently Forster's character in this movie influenced the one he played in Jackie Brown.


“Once I cast Bob,” Quentin summarizes, “at least in my mind, he was the guy from Alligator. Cherry was an ex-cop in Los Angeles, so, in 1980, Cherry had the big fight with the Alligator. Blew it up. Then quit the force. Got hair plugs. Became a bail bondsman in*Carson. And we pick up his story 17 years later.”

https://thenewbev.com/blog/2019/10/r...bail-bondsman/



Victim of The Night
I am old.


I grew up watching 80's movies.


Here we shall talk about such. Possibly films hitherto unseen by the masses here.








Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982)








In the early 80's, Fred Ward was sort of an action hero. At least, until Arnold Schwarzenegger came along. Besides his memorable appearance as Remo Williams, Fred Ward was also a cross country motorcyclist sent back to the old west.






Timerider was directed by William Dear (Harry & The Hendersons, Angels in the Outfield) and co-written/scored by Michael Nesmith. (yes, "Daydream Believer" Nesmith)


Motorcyclist Lyle Swann is in a cross-country race through the Baja desert. Plagued by technical problems from his high tech gadgetry, Swann finds himself far off course and stumbles into a time travel experiment. Swann is sent back to 1877 but is unaware of what has happened at first.



Due to his red motorcycle and outfit, the Mexican locals believe he is El Diablo. Fortunately Swann is aided by a beautiful local woman, Claire, but has attracted the attention of outlaw Porter Reese and his gang. Reese obsesses on Swann's "machine" and manages to capture it and Claire. Swann teams up with two US Marshalls to rescue Claire, get his bike back and possibly return home.





I love this movie. Fred Ward plays a great clueless jerk. The lovely Belinda Bauer features as Claire, but it's the brilliant Peter Coyote as Porter Reese who really steals the show. With a performance like this, Coyote could have been the villain in any western you could think of... Tombstone, Silverado, Back to the Future III, what have you.


I should mention that the exact date Swann goes back is November 5th, 1877. Sound familiar? It should.






The special effects - what little there are - are fair for the early 80's. Good costumes, locales, soundtrack. It does take a little while to get going but the mix of comedy and action kicks in eventually.




22 stars out of 31
I love you for this.



Victim of The Night
Obviously your thread is much more than Horror, but you might consider taking a look at this for fun:


It's not amazing but it does have John Carpenter and Joe Dante and Cassandra Peterson (Elvira) and Tom Atkins and Stuart Gordon and a bunch of other people talking only about 80s Horror movies for four hours and twenty-four minutes... and it has a sequel!



I mainline Windex and horse tranquilizer
I love you for this.









I need an expert's opinion of Black Roses before I watch it.

Was going to recommend it but then realized I was thinking of Reic Trick Or Treat (1986).


Haven't seen this one, but it's from the director of Rock'n'Roll Nightmare, so it can't be all bad, right?



Was going to recommend it but then realized I was thinking of Reic Trick Or Treat (1986).


Haven't seen this one, but it's from the director of Rock'n'Roll Nightmare, so it can't be all bad, right?
The trailer consists of monsters playing arena rock. I'm struggling to imagine a scenario where this film is not good.



Victim of The Night
The Final Countdown (1980)






Like I'm a sucker for eco-horror, I also love time travel movies. Sadly, it seems like one of the better ones - The Final Countdown - has been forgotten.

Featuring Kirk Douglas and his massive swinging dick as the Captain in charge of the USS Nimitz, (they actually filmed on the real USS Nimitz, in cooperation with the US Navy) the aircraft carrier travels through a temporal vortex, finding themselves in the Pacific Ocean near Hawaii the day before Pearl Harbor.



Witnessing a pair of Japanese Zeros attacking a civilian yacht, the Nimitz dispatches a couple of F-14 Tomcats that obliterate the enemy fighters. And while I'm far from the warhawk mentality, it gives me a big old boner watching a couple of modern day jets shoot the shit out of a couple of old ass WWII planes.



The crew of the Nimitz then has to decide if they should interfere with the timeline by intervening in the attack on Pearl Harbor and what the consequences could be.










The Final Countdown was directed by Don Taylor (Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977) and Damien: Omen II.










The Final Countdown has a good mix of action and sci fi with pretty good special effects. A good part of the movie is the debate over changing history and what the consequences could be. Kirk Douglas shines as the Captain of the Nimitz, but Martin Sheen, James Farentino, Soon-Tek Oh and Charles Durning all turn in good performances.





1941 out of 1980 - needs more cowbell
I really dug this movie when I was young but I haven't seen it in over 30 years.
Maybe it's about time to fix that.



I mainline Windex and horse tranquilizer
The Fog (1980)







"Fog bank. There's no fog bank out there.


Hey, there's a fog bank out there."




The Fog is what happens when a brilliant director makes a low-budget horror movie that looks like it had ten times the budget. Using a great cast and a few tricks up his sleeve, Carpenter takes what could easily be a bad made-for-SyFy movie and makes it a horror classic. Shot in anamorphic widescreen Panavision, it gives the impression that this is a bigger movie that it really is.



The town of Antonio Bay is about to celebrate its 100th anniversary. But during the "witching hour" paranormal events begin to plague the town. Glass breaks, mirrors fall, and out on the bay itself, three fishermen are murdered by unseen assailants. In the meantime, Father Malone finds his grandfather's diary. The founders of Antonio Bay had conspired against a wealthy leper to prevent his forming a leper colony near them by purposely causing his ship to be dashed against the rocks, then stealing his gold to found their town.



As the centennial draws close, more paranormal events occur as the denizens of the town try to avoid getting murdered by leper ghosts. And then Tom Atkins whips out his massive dick and saves the day.








The Fog was directed by John Carpenter and co-written by Carpenter and Debra Hill. (who wrote Halloween, and was from Haddonfield, NJ not far from where I live)










Although made for a budget of a little over $1 million, The Fog boasts good special effects, a big movie feel with its Panavision and a great cast in Tom Atkins, Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrienne Barbeau and her twins, Hal Holbrook, Janet Leigh, and John Houseman. Special effects whiz Rob Bottin wears the Blake costume and Carpenter himself appears briefly as the priest's assistant, Bennett.


It's unfortunate that Carpenter doesn't make movies like this any more. But after his career, my man pretty much wants to sit around smoking weed and playing progressive jazz. Can't say I blame him.



8 seagulls out of 10