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All right, so maybe it's time to stop making any more GI Joe movies. Is this movie awful? No, it's lightyears better than that real hunk of **** Rise of Cobra. I wiped that awfulness right out of my memory. I could not tell you a single thing that in it. It was terrible; that's all I can remember. And then there was Retaliation, and you know what, I'm not going to knock it. Nothing great, but still better than the first one. This is just like Retaliation, not particularly great. Not particularly bad either. It's just kind of there.
The Bad
B-Level: This doesn't feel like a blockbuster franchise at all. There is no major star (so far, I guess), the actors are no names, the director is not that great. Scarlet and Baroness look like cosplays of those characters and not the actual characters. I didn't mind Storm Shadow. He looked the part better than everyone else.
Snake Eyes: They kind of butchered him in this movie. Snake Eyes was more of the bad guy than Storm Shadow. Tommy was like a brother to him, and he betrayed him. He just wanted revenge for his dad, even though he had no intentions of ever killing the dude because he didn't kill people. Well, he didn't until the end when he was killing people all over the place. I'm 100% on Storm Shadow side. You made him look like a fool. His family threw him out. His whole life, he had been trying to become the head of the clan, and Snake Eyes ruined it. So at no point did I root for Snake Eyes. Plus, his whole back story just fell flat. Also these two have always been equals to one another, or so I think it’s been awhile since I have paid attention to G.I. Joe stuff. Here though Storm Shadow is clearly superior to Snake Eyes. Snake is no elite level ninja or operative at all. Having him not be so elite certainly hurts the character.
More Action: This movie is too much talky-talk and not enough stabby-stab. I could have done with a little bit more fights sprinkled throughout. Although, the director didn't do that, great of a job, with the fights. He failed to make them feel special. The only good one until the end was the one in the alleyway. You would figure that with all the Yakuza and ninjas in this movie, there would be more epic fights, but no, that was not the case.
The mythical world: We got three snakes that can tell if the heart is pure or some ****. Then we got the power of the sun in a jewel form. Both are had passes from me. They should have stayed with more reality-based ideas. That would have worked better.
The Good
The End: Whewww. That ending is what I wanted more of. The Highway Scene with them fighting on the cars and everything was great. I was a big fan of that scene. The action was crisp, and they were well done. The end fight scene in the dojo/ mansion was also sick. They showcased how badass the blind master was. Even though he felt like a Scorpion (from Mortal Kombat) knockoff, sort of with the chains. The grandma was as badass as they come, which was very pleasing. My boy Iko Uwais (The Raid and The Raid: Redemption GO WATCH THESE MOVIES THEY ARE SOME OF THE BEST ACTION FILMS YOU WILL EVER SEE) got in some fighting as well.
Setup: Well, it certainly sets up the franchise for more. It was a good backstory for Storm Shadow's hatred of SnakeEyes. As I said, I would hold a grudge against him as well. It introduced both organizations just enough. The seeds have been planted for more movies. I'm just not sure we are gonna get more.
Random Notes
Physically impossible to ride a motorcycle backward like that but hey, whatever. We're in a movie where those three giant snakes that somehow pure like to tell if you are pure of heart and the jewel of the sun, so sure you can ride your bike backward.
Who knew Tokyo still had a towers record
You would figure a league of ninja would have a more hidden dojo than the massive one put in the open
No way these two bear up all those thugs
At what point did snake eyes become all ninja. They never actually trained him
Figure this battle is big enough for more than one Joe. I mean, at least send in some reinforcements.
**** you, Snake Eyes, for saying Kenta has the jewel. He has it solely because of you, idiot.
Do not have him be talking if there are future movies
He wears the Damm suit for 30 seconds. Trash
All in all, this movie is just okay. The ending made up for the rest of the movie just being fine. Minus the ending, and this movie would have been awful. There is still some more work to be done for this franchise to get good and have a future. At this point, though, I would just say leave it alone and stop forcing G.I. Joe to be a thing because it doesn't seem to be working. 7/10
The Bad
B-Level: This doesn't feel like a blockbuster franchise at all. There is no major star (so far, I guess), the actors are no names, the director is not that great. Scarlet and Baroness look like cosplays of those characters and not the actual characters. I didn't mind Storm Shadow. He looked the part better than everyone else.
Snake Eyes: They kind of butchered him in this movie. Snake Eyes was more of the bad guy than Storm Shadow. Tommy was like a brother to him, and he betrayed him. He just wanted revenge for his dad, even though he had no intentions of ever killing the dude because he didn't kill people. Well, he didn't until the end when he was killing people all over the place. I'm 100% on Storm Shadow side. You made him look like a fool. His family threw him out. His whole life, he had been trying to become the head of the clan, and Snake Eyes ruined it. So at no point did I root for Snake Eyes. Plus, his whole back story just fell flat. Also these two have always been equals to one another, or so I think it’s been awhile since I have paid attention to G.I. Joe stuff. Here though Storm Shadow is clearly superior to Snake Eyes. Snake is no elite level ninja or operative at all. Having him not be so elite certainly hurts the character.
More Action: This movie is too much talky-talk and not enough stabby-stab. I could have done with a little bit more fights sprinkled throughout. Although, the director didn't do that, great of a job, with the fights. He failed to make them feel special. The only good one until the end was the one in the alleyway. You would figure that with all the Yakuza and ninjas in this movie, there would be more epic fights, but no, that was not the case.
The mythical world: We got three snakes that can tell if the heart is pure or some ****. Then we got the power of the sun in a jewel form. Both are had passes from me. They should have stayed with more reality-based ideas. That would have worked better.
The Good
The End: Whewww. That ending is what I wanted more of. The Highway Scene with them fighting on the cars and everything was great. I was a big fan of that scene. The action was crisp, and they were well done. The end fight scene in the dojo/ mansion was also sick. They showcased how badass the blind master was. Even though he felt like a Scorpion (from Mortal Kombat) knockoff, sort of with the chains. The grandma was as badass as they come, which was very pleasing. My boy Iko Uwais (The Raid and The Raid: Redemption GO WATCH THESE MOVIES THEY ARE SOME OF THE BEST ACTION FILMS YOU WILL EVER SEE) got in some fighting as well.
Setup: Well, it certainly sets up the franchise for more. It was a good backstory for Storm Shadow's hatred of SnakeEyes. As I said, I would hold a grudge against him as well. It introduced both organizations just enough. The seeds have been planted for more movies. I'm just not sure we are gonna get more.
Random Notes
Physically impossible to ride a motorcycle backward like that but hey, whatever. We're in a movie where those three giant snakes that somehow pure like to tell if you are pure of heart and the jewel of the sun, so sure you can ride your bike backward.
Who knew Tokyo still had a towers record
You would figure a league of ninja would have a more hidden dojo than the massive one put in the open
No way these two bear up all those thugs
At what point did snake eyes become all ninja. They never actually trained him
Figure this battle is big enough for more than one Joe. I mean, at least send in some reinforcements.
**** you, Snake Eyes, for saying Kenta has the jewel. He has it solely because of you, idiot.
Do not have him be talking if there are future movies
He wears the Damm suit for 30 seconds. Trash
All in all, this movie is just okay. The ending made up for the rest of the movie just being fine. Minus the ending, and this movie would have been awful. There is still some more work to be done for this franchise to get good and have a future. At this point, though, I would just say leave it alone and stop forcing G.I. Joe to be a thing because it doesn't seem to be working. 7/10