Clash of the Titans (1981)
Swords, sorcery, boobs, monsters, boobs and Sir Laurence Olivier in a bedsheet. And I love it.
Zeus is a horny fellow. One of the results of his many trysts is the hero Perseus, born in Argos and sent floating into the sea as a baby with his mother. Zeus orders the monstrous Kraken to be let loose on Argos, destroying it. Wiped clean by the wrath of god.
Perseus grows up into a strong, handsome, well hung young man. Zeus has the gods of Olympus gift him with magic weapons, which must be nice... because we always had to roll for magic and got stuck with a crappy potion or a first level scroll with useless spells like Wall of Fog or Glitterdust.
Perseus gets hot and bothered over Princess Andromeda and successfully answers a riddle, winning her hand in marriage. (and severing the hand of Calibos, son of Thetis, who is not a nice man and looks like he smells like burnt bacon and a gas statio toilet.)
Perseus must slay the titan Medusa, then use her head's petrification power to destroy the Kraken before it eats his fiance and craps Andromeda all over the beach, because who the hell wants to clean that mess up.
Clash of the Titans was directed by Desmond Davis. (I Was Happy Here, Ordeal by Innocence)
A passable script, decent acting (although Burgess Meredith seems a little out of place) and good costumes/set design, but the real MVP here is the lord and master Ray Harryhausen. I would go so far as to consider this his masterpiece, especially the Medusa stop-motion. Harryhausen brings multiple mythological beasts to life - the Kraken, Medusa, Cerberus, giant scorpions, a Roc, and more. Unfortunately this was remade in 2010 and it just pales in comparison. Even the best CGI can't compete with good stop-motion animation. Worth seeing purely for Harryhausen's masterwork if nothing else.
4 scorpions out of 5