Sexy Cineplexy: Reviews

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I'm going to give away two big spoilers for anybody who doesn't care, but it pertains to the movie and the TV show.

WARNING: "21 Jump Street" spoilers below
Johnny Depp and Peter DeLuise are in the movie and they play their old characters from the show.

WARNING: "21 Jump Street" spoilers below
Shockingly, they are shot and killed, apparently.

"Money won is twice as sweet as money earned."

Halloween 5:
The Revenge of Michael Myers

(directed by Dominique Othenin-Girard, 1989)

I was in the mood to revisit this entry in the Halloween series. Its always been one of my favorites from the franchise, though a lot of other people have always complained that it's the worst one -- now I see why. Although, I still can't agree with them -- there are worse Halloween films (parts 6 and 8 come to mind.) I should be reviewing a Friday the 13th film since it's Friday the 13th, but, oh well.

The Halloween films revolve around a psycho killer named Michael Myers who stalks around a town called Haddonfield in Illinois. For some reason, he up and killed his teenage sister when he was six years old and he was sent to a mental institution for many years. He breaks out of the institution and his doctor, Loomis, played by Donald Pleasance, has to always chase after him. In the first two films, Michael's after his sister (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) and her friends. The third film had nothing to do with Michael Myers. The fourth film saw Michael going after his eight year old niece (Danielle Harris) and after failing to stop him in that film, he's back again to get her in Halloween 5.

At the end of 4, his niece, Jamie, stabbed her stepmother, leading you to think she's going to turn out to be just like her uncle. A year goes by and now she's in a children's hospital - and she's mute. However, she has some sort of psychic bond with her scary uncle Michael and can see him wherever he is. Whenever she knows he's around somebody she cares for, she starts shaking violently and almost chokes. Loomis sends a distress signal to cops, who go and try to save the intended victim. They usually do end up saved -- but only momentarily. Because of this, it is late into the film before people really start believing that Michael Myers has come back, as most people think Jamie's "warnings" are really nothing at all.

I don't know why I really need to write a review for this movie, but I'll just say that I found it interesting and enjoyable for a horror sequel, although the movie is kind of a mess. There are laughable, unintended sight gags such as Michael Myers wading through a river after he's avoided cops who just tried to bomb him. I never realized just how intelligent Michael Myers actually is for a guy who's never talked for most of his life - and, how human-like he can be, which is strange because this guy has been shot by probably hundreds of bullets and yet he never goes down. And people are still pretty confident that they have some way they can kill him. Especially Loomis.

This movie used to seem pretty frightening to me. Not that it actually did frighten me, but it looked like a pretty frightening movie. Some of the characters here aren't so bad and the majority of them end up slaughtered. It's a very bleak film, though. A young girl spends the majority of her time fearing for the life of her family and friends and it never lets up. She never gets any relief. The ending is a cliffhanger which leads to another dismal sequel that took six years to come around and wrap the story up - at least the one dealing with the little girl. Watching this movie almost seems like a waste of time unless you like scary, masked monsters hunting people down, ruining things like a blonde teenage girl's initiation to sex in a barn, occasionally wearing a neanderthal mask or having emotional moments with his niece that actually make him shed a tear.

If it's ruthless, diabolical revenge you want, Michael Myers will bring it.

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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
The two worst Halloween movies have to be the epic turd Halloween: Resurrection. When Busta Rhymes starts kicks Michael Myers' ass all over the place...

Also Rob Zombie's H2. What a horrid mess. Give me the Paul Rudd edition over these two.
Reviews: Get Out

2016 - Mofo Film Awards

I kinda dig Rob Zombie's Halloween II - and his Halloween, as well, though it's been forever since I've seen it. But I agree with you about Halloween: Resurrection. That's the worst one.

Zombie's Halloween, yeah I liked it. That sequel, though... ugh.
#31 on SC's Top 100 Mofos list!!

Halloween II, the Rob Zombie version, actually kinda reminds me of Halloween 5. The teenagers in both movies go to a Halloween party that takes place at a barn -- and I love how they dress like Rocky Horror Picture Show characters in RZ's Halloween II.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
My thoughts on H2:

Not much of a plot, not much of a film. This sequel punishes those who had any interest in the first and almost immediately kills this re-invented series. The remake of the original is not bad and Zombie did a decent job of bringing Michael Myers to the new century of horror, but with the sequel he seems to have steered too far into House of 1,00 corpses territory.

Why is Michael so terrifying? Well, he use to be that is, because he never had a reason to kill. He just did it. In the words of Dr. Loomis, he was pure evil. Freddy had the revenge thing, Jason has the mommy issues, Michael was just evil. Zombie, on the other hand, seems to have missed this point and deemed it necessary to have Michel do things because of visions he has of his mother and a white horse. Enough with the mommy issues, leave that crap for Jason. Michael got his background story given to us in the remake. He is a sick and disturbing boy, now we see that he has a method behind his madness?

The film's script consists of dream sequence, wake up and scream obscenities. Then we cut to Michael making a trip to Mount Doom, killing people along the way. Repeat this for about an hour. Then have a lame, not thrilling, not scary pathetic excuse for a climax at the end, that takes place in a shed. A shed in which Myers stands still while our main character battles herself and imaginary people. This is the same main character whom people seem to have liked in the first film, here she becomes an annoying crying little emo baby. The film brings back a few character whom we thought were dead from the first film, only to see them die here. Waste? I think so. Purpose? Nothing what so ever. Dr. Loomis has a separate story alongside Myers and Strode. One that makes him look like a total douche bag and seems to have been thrown in to make the film run longer and seem more fleshed out. The problem is that it's paper thin and out of character.

Myers is no longer scary, and neither is this series. The film is laughable and the predictable by the numbers set up and execution will make you fall asleep. After years and years of slasher films, you would think they would want the deaths to be unique and the very least creative. Seeing this horror legends slice and dice is what the fans of the original series want. Halloween II has none of this. All Myers does is stab people multiple times. Grunting while doing so, which also ruins the myth of this character. He is suppose to be this silent killer. With the exception of a face stomp, none of these kills are memorable.

Zombie here seems to have gone backwards in his film-making skills. The whole thing feels like a first time music video director takes a shot at a horror film. The sloppy editing and hand held camera make it almost impossible to see. The darkness of the film doesn't help either. I respect Zombie, more than Eli Roth, for trying to put a new stamp on the horror genre, but this is a horrible mess. Being a member of the Splat Pack, you can expect this film to be excessive in its violence. It is, but it's never really too much, specifically with how filsm are done these days.

This is probably one of the weakest slasher films to have come out in a while. Prom Night is the only thing I can think of that is lower on the scale. Things are left unexplained for god knows what reason. Apparently Myers and Strode share a psychic link to each other? Halloween was an interesting take from a fan of the horror genre on a classic. Halloween II is the same fan's dream, only in his own little weird world. A giant misstep, and this series is already done.

I'd say the only Halloween I enjoyed about as much as the original was H20. It actually focused on characters and Michael was pretty scary in it.

Me too I hated this one used it for a coaster after I bought it for $5.00
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.

This is what I thought about Rob Zombie's Halloween II after I first saw it:

Halloween II
(directed by Rob Zombie, 2009)

Believe it or not, Halloween II, the new film directed by Rob Zombie, is actually a mashup of the 1981 version of Halloween II, Rob Zombie's 2007 Halloween remake, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show... with just a drop of UHF (Weird Al Yankovic has a cameo).

The Rocky Horror stuff is my favorite part... but it doesn't last long.

Let me just warn you that a very large portion of this film is a dream sequence... and once the dreamer woke up in his or her bed, it not only pissed off me - it also pissed off a testosterone driven, muscle bound, uncaged man animal sitting behind me, who yelled an expletive at the movie screen.

So, if you're taking steroids, you might wanna avoid this film.

Halloween II does not take place at a hospital on the same night as the first movie, which is what happened in the 1981 Halloween II. This one takes place a year later on Halloween... yes, you may have seen some hospital scenes in the previews and you're now scratching your head. Let's just say I've given you a hint.

My main man, Micky Dolenz, from The Monkees, who had a cameo in the first Halloween remake as a gun store owner does not make an appearance again in this film. So, half a star off its final verdict for that.

I heartily recommend the review of this movie by TheUsualSuspect. Check out his review thread for that.

Sherri Moon Zombie... Sherri Moon Zombie is the wife of the director, Rob Zombie, and to date, I believe she's been in every single one of his movies, with a big part. Until they either divorce or she gets run over by an ice cream truck (my favorite of the two), I assume she'll continue to have main roles in all of his movies. There are tons of trashy porno movie sets needing to fill up roles to women who wanna be filled up, but Sherri Moon neglects them all. In Halloween II, she constantly pops up as a figment of Michael Myers' imagination ~ she plays his mother, who is now dead ~ and everytime she appears, she's accompanied by a white horse, as if Halloween is now some kind of Neverending Story (although it is a neverending series...) fantasy thing. It is not. This is not the first time that the Halloween series has been weird... Halloween 6, which was brutally re-directed and trashed, dealt with Michael being influenced by a cult and our very own stars in the sky.

But now, with Halloween II, the white horse stuff is probably the weirdest.

With any luck, though, Sherri Moon will leave the horror genre and take that white horse somewhere to make beastiality porn. (!)

Still, I do like some of the bizarre imagery Rob Zombie creates for the film... there's a skeleton that has Michael Myers head for a skull. That was pretty creepy and cool. There are also a few bizarre, trippy scenes here and there.

It has a confusing ending. I kinda like that, but at the same time, this whole movie was really just a mess, and there's nothing brilliant about it. However, with that said, it was at least a very unique take, and with it actually being the 10th film in the Halloween series, what more could you do?

At least it's not 2002's Halloween: Resurrection, the worst movie in the series, if not all time. Look at that title... Halloween: Resurrection. Forget knowing that by resurrection, they mean Michael Myers coming back to life. Isn't that the dumbest title ever? Wouldn't a horror film called Christmas: Resurrection be just... wrong?

Granted, Halloween II is not really a great title for this movie.

It should have been called Sherri: Resurrected!

Miss Vicky's Loyal and Willing Slave
Just catching up on some of your reviews. Some great stuff! Of distinction however is your Drive review - one of the more interesting, entertaining and downright weird reviews I've ever read!

Miss Vicky's Loyal and Willing Slave
Just continuing my catch-up with some of your reviews. Fantastic stuff! So much so that I think I'm ready to grant you the huge honour and much coveted title of the most entertaining reviewer on the site. And my personal favourite

I need to get back into reviewing, but I am busier than usual these days. Have managed to watch quite a bit of new stuff, though. Thanks for reading, JayDee.

The Boy Who Could Fly
(directed by Nick Castle, 1986)

The Boy Who Could Fly is a wonderful fantasy film that deals with subjects such as tragic loss, the death of a parent (and parents), autism, loneliness, bullying, alcoholic overweight teenagers who also played Natalie on The Facts of Life, alcoholic uncles who also played Herman Munster on The Munsters, teachers who are played by actresses that sound like they've smoked too much and are about to lose both of their lungs, and it's even got Louise Fletcher (One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest) as a psychiatrist.

Milly (Lucy Deakins) and her brother Louis (Fred Savage) move into a new house with their mother, Charlene (Bonnie Bedelia). Tragedy has recently struck this small, fatherless family -- their dad had a terminal case of cancer, we find out -- and instead of trying to fight the disease, he simply gave up and committed suicide. In the opening credits, we watch as these three people claim their bedrooms and it's heartbreaking to see Charlene (well, okay, it's heartbreaking after you've watched the movie and already know the story) go into the master bedroom alone without her husband to share it with.

Milly notices an unusual sight outside her window -- Eric (Jay Underwood), an apparently autistic boy that's the same age as her, has taken up shop outside his bedroom window, his arms outstretched before him -- as if he were trying to fly. Later, at school, she learns more about him -- his parents died in a plane crash when he was 5 years old. Mysteriously, as they crashed, Eric started acting like an airplane. He's been an airplane ever since. Milly and Eric start sharing a bond together when she volunteers to throw a volleyball at him during gym class (he won't throw it back.) But he begins to mimic what Milly does and this catches the attention of Mrs. Sherman (Colleen Dewhurst), the deep voiced teacher of Milly and Eric who happens to be an expert with autistic kids. She thinks Milly has the power to bring Eric out of his autistic shell.

As time progresses, Milly works with Eric at trying to reach him, keeping a journal at the same time. It's frustrating work but she is getting somewhere with him. At the same time, she and her family are trying to overcome personal obstacles in their life and the theme of the movie relies on Eric's own struggle as inspiration for all of the people circling around him. But there's more -- what if Eric really can fly? Natalie from The Facts of Life knows some strange stories about him. The film continues as this mystery unfolds, Mrs. Sherman struggles to save Eric from being institutionalized, and Milly falls in love with Eric.

I remember seeing this movie when I was very young on television, but everything that happened in the film was pretty much wiped from my memory -- except I knew it involved a boy at a window. Browsing through my cable TV's selection of movies one night a few months ago, I came across The Boy Who Could Fly, watched the movie trailer and decided to check it out and see what I could remember. Not much clicked as far as stuff I could remember seeing before, but I loved the movie. At first I didn't really like the ending, but I think it's okay now. It's a shame the film isn't really that well known (or is it?) I definitely recommend it.

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Color of Night
(directed by Richard Rush, 1994)

Color of Night is a Basic Instinct clone from the era of early 1990's movies that deal with sex and psychoanalysis. It stars Bruce Willis as a psychiatrist named Bill Capa. In the hysterical opening scene to Color of Night, Bill pushes one of his clients - a frazzled, self loathing, drag queen imposter named Michelle (Kathleen Wilhoite, who played a memorable and marvelous psychic in 1986's Witchboard) - to commit suicide. She runs straight to the window of Bill's office and crashes through it, falling to her slow, beautiful, majestically filmed death until she splats on the road. Interestingly, Kathleen Wilhoite died the same way in Witchboard, sort of, when an old male ghost pushed her out of a window and caused her to fall on top of a sharp, spiky sundial she used as a lawn decoration.

As Bill stares at his dead, depressed client from the broken window above, something psychologically happens to him and from then on, he can no longer see the color red. Soon, he is invited to visit an old college buddy (Scott Bakula) in California and he is also a psychiatrist. This guy is running a little support group for wackos, which includes a full cast of character actors like Brad Dourif, Leslie Ann Warren, Lance Henriksen and Kevin J. O'Connor. Also among them is a bizarre gender confused creature - more on that in a moment.

Scott Bakula, who has been getting stalked for some time now, ends up murdered and Bruce Willis ends up taking over his support group for him. He also begins a love affair with an attractive woman named Rose (Jane March) whom he meets -- maybe not for the first time -- when she has a little car accident with him. There is also a VERY annoying cop character by the name of Martinez (Ruben Blades) and I swear to God this character is one of the worst characters I have ever seen in a movie. Anyway, it's plain as day that the seductive Rose is also the mannish/feminine gender confused creature from the support group -- to the AUDIENCE -- but not at all to the characters. In fact, these people are so out of touch that ALL of them are having sexual relations with Rose, although Rose is pretending to be someone else with each of them. Yes, even Leslie Ann Warren has a little lesbian fling with Rose.

The movie is basically about a support group of neurotics that are all sleeping with the gender confused creature while murders are also happening among them. There are also some strong sexy scenes with Bruce Willis and Jane March -- watch very carefully when he's naked in the pool, you can see his penis. There's also a couple of scenes where Bruce is dramatically chased around by someone mysterious in a car on the highway. The movie is much longer than it should be. However -- I've gotta admit -- I kinda loved the film. It's stupid as hell -- I don't understand what Bruce Willis was thinking when he agreed to be in it -- but for a cheesy psychological sex thriller where you see Bruce Willis naked, Color of Night is actually pretty entertaining if you like "so bad it's good" type of movies.

But I really, really do hate the cop character, Martinez, and they could have shown more of Bruce naked. I heard somewhere that in a foreign release, they actually do show more.

I'm sure you've already missed this (unless you watched it for Jane March) but if it crosses paths with you someday, I recommend it if you're in the mood for sex, stalking and silliness.

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Bright light. Bright light. Uh oh.
Yes, but mostly silliness. It's not as bad as all the critics said, but I still think it works better as a MST3000 type experience. I'm sure, Sexy, you were constantly yelling at the screen and rolling your eyes.

By the way, Sexy, did you seen director Rush's The Stunt Man?
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden

Yes, but mostly silliness. It's not as bad as all the critics said, but I still think it works better as a MST3000 type experience. I'm sure, Sexy, you were constantly yelling at the screen and rolling your eyes.

By the way, Sexy, did you seen director Rush's The Stunt Man?

Originally Posted by akatemple
The Boy Who Could Fly sounds really good, I have never heard of it before so I will definitely get it soon and give it a watch.
Can't wait to read your review.

Miss Vicky's Loyal and Willing Slave
Nice reviews Sexy. I've not seen (or even heard of) either of them but I liked your reviews and quite like the sound of The Boy Who Could Fly. Will try and keep an eye out for that one.

I Am Rick Cottontree: The MoFo Quiz Goblin
Colour Of Night...

... strange, badly written, completely transparent in the mystery department... yet still manages to be satisfying nonsense.
And yes, I mainly watched it for Jane March and not for Bruce Willy, erm, Willy's willy, erm, Bruiser's W... I give up.

Nice review