Alrighty folks, I need some advice from both sides (female and male), so if you feel like chiming in then I will listen. Also, I apologize for the length in advance.
I have been dating a girl (going out on dates...not a committed relationship) for the past two weeks, and in the beginning it was naturally a surreal and exciting time. We spent the long weekend of the 4th together, and I met her parents. She comes from a different socio-economic status than I do, so I was pretty much a fish out of water that entire weekend but did a good job of rolling with the richies. A few things came to light that caused me to reevaluate how I see my future being shared with someone (i.e. what it would mean with her). While it was a difficult thing for me to reimagine my future I was able to do it (she doesn't want kids, but I am not sure how I feel...she has some extreme views about important issues of mine...yet I look at her and feel something special).
Last weekend she was going out of town so I stayed the night with her and took her to the public transit in the early AM, and this time together was entirely different than the weekend before. I saw her on her way and for the next few days we kept in communication and during that time away from her I processed what little information I had available to me. I came to the conclusion that I had moved much too fast for my own good thus putting me into freak out mode, which is never good for me. Nonetheless, I made certain to make some time for her today after work, as it was the first day back from her trip and she will probably be slammed this weekend with work.
This brings me to where I need some advice: I bought her a card that had a friendship-esque quality to it (i.e. a good friend does this...but a great friend does this). I made sure to add a little extra to what the card said but without coming across as anything more than a friend. I spent about 2 hours with her and in the process we had our first fight. She had pulled some fries from the oven and I took ONE off the baking sheet and she flipped: facial expressions, body language, and spoken words that I had not seen/heard before that expressed obvious disappointment/anger. Naturally, I pushed the issue by taking ONE more fry from the baking sheet about 4-5 minutes later, as she was leaving the kitchen. I made sure she saw it so as to gauge her response, and it led to a heated discussion between us. I told her it was "an inbred trait" and she said she could "deal with big issues like cheating but not little issues like that one." She goes on to try and correct my usage of the word inbred in addition to ONE poorly structured sentence (in my defense...I was tired so my natural don't give a s*** attitude came to the surface resulting in the sentence).
Well, by this time I was pretty pissed and just wanted out of there, so I ended up leaving to pick up a friend from work and told her I'd call her later. I did call her later and acted as if nothing had happened and she seemed to do the same. Here are the options I have in my head so far:
So folks, what should I do?
I have been dating a girl (going out on dates...not a committed relationship) for the past two weeks, and in the beginning it was naturally a surreal and exciting time. We spent the long weekend of the 4th together, and I met her parents. She comes from a different socio-economic status than I do, so I was pretty much a fish out of water that entire weekend but did a good job of rolling with the richies. A few things came to light that caused me to reevaluate how I see my future being shared with someone (i.e. what it would mean with her). While it was a difficult thing for me to reimagine my future I was able to do it (she doesn't want kids, but I am not sure how I feel...she has some extreme views about important issues of mine...yet I look at her and feel something special).
Last weekend she was going out of town so I stayed the night with her and took her to the public transit in the early AM, and this time together was entirely different than the weekend before. I saw her on her way and for the next few days we kept in communication and during that time away from her I processed what little information I had available to me. I came to the conclusion that I had moved much too fast for my own good thus putting me into freak out mode, which is never good for me. Nonetheless, I made certain to make some time for her today after work, as it was the first day back from her trip and she will probably be slammed this weekend with work.
This brings me to where I need some advice: I bought her a card that had a friendship-esque quality to it (i.e. a good friend does this...but a great friend does this). I made sure to add a little extra to what the card said but without coming across as anything more than a friend. I spent about 2 hours with her and in the process we had our first fight. She had pulled some fries from the oven and I took ONE off the baking sheet and she flipped: facial expressions, body language, and spoken words that I had not seen/heard before that expressed obvious disappointment/anger. Naturally, I pushed the issue by taking ONE more fry from the baking sheet about 4-5 minutes later, as she was leaving the kitchen. I made sure she saw it so as to gauge her response, and it led to a heated discussion between us. I told her it was "an inbred trait" and she said she could "deal with big issues like cheating but not little issues like that one." She goes on to try and correct my usage of the word inbred in addition to ONE poorly structured sentence (in my defense...I was tired so my natural don't give a s*** attitude came to the surface resulting in the sentence).
Well, by this time I was pretty pissed and just wanted out of there, so I ended up leaving to pick up a friend from work and told her I'd call her later. I did call her later and acted as if nothing had happened and she seemed to do the same. Here are the options I have in my head so far:
- Pretend like the last time we hung out (today) didn't even happen but take that knowledge and learn from it & not bring up the too close, too fast nature of our "relationship"...but rather just cool things down by being SLIGHTLY aloof at times
- Apologize for being an a**hole by testing her response to the fry thing & speaking my mind about how I feel about how fast we are moving and the "fight" we had
- Don't apologize...but make it clear things are being slowed down by me for my own sake/emotional safety
So folks, what should I do?
__________________
"This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined." -Baruch Spinoza
"This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined." -Baruch Spinoza