Worst Things To Say On A 1st Date

I have to be home before my husband comes home from work

I'm crying. I almost pissed myself at this post. I'm still trying to keep everything together here at my desk. OMG lol


*edit*
that was my response to a previous post... not my addition to the thread. but, reading it in that context, i guess it could work too.

Soooo funny!! 😆

Hilarious thread, especially when that person spun out. Some of us knew her on imdb and she never behaved that way.

Allah Ackbar

or

So do you like Star Wars or Star Trek?

__________________

So, you ever go on 4chan?

Can you pick up the check and I'll pay you back next month?

Can we split the check would be almost as bad.

*knocks on door*
Uhm. Hi! Wow, you look great! I know I'm a bit early, but I was just excited to see you. I hope you don't mind, but I brought you some flowers? Why yes, they are lovely! ...but not as lovely as you are. Why, they don't even begin to compare. What's that? A florist? My, no!! We have a green house in the back yard.

Yes. I adore gardening! I won an award in high school for blending a hybrid rose! Yes, my mother taught me everything know. She used to teach botany at the university. Matter of fact, she cut these herself! Smell that scent? Yes, it IS beautiful! I agree! Now close your eyes and take a deep breath.... No, silly! There's no bee that will get you, haha... It's safe, I promise! I'm here and I'll protect you from bad ole Mr. Bee! Oops!! Or Mrs. Bee!? I don't want to "bee" sexist!! Hehe! But I guess if he was a "she," then she would be a queen, huh? Oh my gosh!!! I don't mean that in a homosexual way!! I believe in gay rights and I would NEVER mean to say something so cruel!!

But I'm off point. Silly me! Now here....close you eyes...now smell the fragrance of this bouquet. Yes. Absolutely lovely. Do you smell that? Mmhm. Past the rose? Yes! That's her perfume!! Ever since I was a little boy, I always loved the mixture of rose and mother's perfume. Every time she cut the blooms, I could always smell her on the flowers... mmm, I still love that! *sniffs* yeah...that's her scent..... Oh! You're peaking!!

Anyway, listen to me just rattling on! We have a DATE to get to! Here. Place these in a vase and let's get going. We have a reservation in 20 minutes! Besides, I left the car running and I'm afraid mom may get a chill. Go put these in a vase, silly! We'll be waiting in the car!

You'll have to sit in the back, I'm sorry, but she gets car sick so easy. It's ok though, she will lean her seat forward to let you in. Btw, have I told you how beautiful you are? Because you are! And I am so lucky!! You, entering my life ...now?! Especially considering the timing!! I mean, my mom has been so sick these past few weeks. I just don't know what to do! We really don't want to place her into a home, and good quality home care is just SO expensive! Thanks, "OBAMA" care!!! I know, right?! Not that Trump will do any better. Haha! Right? ...RIGHT!? But look at you! So beautiful! And at just the right time in our lives! Now we won't need home care. She's just going to absolutely ADORE you!

Gosh! Just look at the time, oh dear!! We have 15 minutes to make our reservation! Hurry hurry, get those in a vase! We still need to stop at the Walgreens on the way to fill a few prescriptions. I just hope we can all make our table in time!! It can be so slow getting her over the curb, what with the walker and all. Stop lolly-gagging! You know... that dress? .... Blue really is her favorite color.


She's just going to LOVE you!! She could just eat you up!! Haha I'm only teasing. This is just our first date... That will come later *wink wink*

See you at the car, babe.