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The MoFo Personal Pictures Thread

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I couldn't post it, but a couple weeks ago I tried texting my handyman to bring over his caulk. You can imagine how that went.
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I’m here only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays. That’s why I’m here now.



That elusive hide-and-seek cow is at it again
So it's October. Might as well post up an old halloween costume. This is from a few years back when the office did halloween parties during officer hours. We would all dress up and play games for half the day. One was a spooky scavenger hunt that forced teams to confront people with interviews or take photos of themed list items for points. I believe this one was to ask strangers what their favorite halloween candy was. I'm the one under the heat blanket of a costume on the right, asking this poor guy random questions.

I did make a kid cry in K-mart though =\



May post more past costumes if I find more.
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"My Dionne Warwick understanding of your dream indicates that you are ambivalent on how you want life to eventually screw you." - Joel

"Ever try to forcibly pin down a house cat? It's not easy." - Captain Steel

"I just can't get pass sticking a finger up a dog's butt." - John Dumbear



So it's October. Might as well post up an old halloween costume. This is from a few years back when the office did halloween parties during officer hours. We would all dress up and play games for half the day.
For me, that would be another level of office hell.



A system of cells interlinked
All ready for Halloween!

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"There’s absolutely no doubt you can be slightly better tomorrow than you are today." - JBP



That elusive hide-and-seek cow is at it again
Moar Halloween stuffs.

YEEEEEARS ago I bought a clown jumpsuit, a wig, some make-up, shoes, some rainbow suspenders and a uh... white thermal long sleeve undershirt. I spritzed some orange and yellow food coloring onto the pits and neck of the shirt to look like sweat and put my hair into a net. When set, I rolled the top half of the suit into the pants and clamped on the rainbow suspenders to the lower half. That worked very well and revealed the stained undershirt.

That morning, I stopped at (and stumbled through) a gas station (in full costume) to buy a bottle of Gatorade, Boone's Farm (to later pour the gatorade into and drink from while wandering aimlessly about town, dumping the Boone's out, of course), a pack of Newports, and one box of condoms. The register guy didn't know what to do. I told him it was for balloon animals.



That's Gatorade in the paper bag. I'm not a for real drunk clown. I don't smoke either, but I felt having a lipstick-soaked half a bent up cig just barely hanging onto the edge of my bottom lip just sorta made the costume right.

So that was my gig that day. to deal with randoms walking by and me offering to make a balloon animal only to pull out the wrong balloon, and only noticing when I couldn't get it to inflate. Oh. I also had an old bicycle horn in my pocket. To scare people or for fake drunken cat calls. Whichever seemed reasonable in the moment.

I used to get into characters a lil too deeply, I think.

...

Some years later, a few coworkers talked me into a team event zombie run. It was marketed as like a 5k run through some nearby parkland woods where obstacles were set up for the runners. You could register as a runner or as a zombie. The runners were given three partially inflated balloons to pin to their shirts. Those balloons represented organs. The other option was to dress up as a zombie and register to chase the runners. Our goal was to pop their balloons or snag the little ribbons dangling from their bodies. Of course I went as a zombie.





That hat did jack against the sun that day. I'm missing half a beard and one-third of a mustache so the wounds would look real(er). rrrrrrrrACTING!!!!


I pulled my drunkard clown suit from its dusty crypt and splashed some blood onto it. Fake blood, that is. It was near Halloween so supplies were high. I also created some scabby flesh tears in my face with latex and toilet paper to create ripped flaps of skin. That works pretty well and was easy to apply considering that was my first attempt at such and effect. I also picked up some cheap pantyhose, dumped a handful of large marshmallows in one leg, twist-and-tied a link, then a few more marshmallows, repeat, until the leg was full. I THEN dumped a bottle of clear Karo syrup into a bucket with a small bottle of red food coloring and drenched the marshmallow leggings into the mixture to produce a bloody bowel length. Ya know, so that I could gnaw on something sweet while waiting for the runners.



Posing with a coworker and a random kid that was all excited other "adults" were playing dress-up. Those intestines were delish, btw. I made a set for the coworker too, with the other Eggs leg.



The organizers carted small groups of us off to sit and wait in certain choke points along the run. We're near a military base, so there were a few young jackasses that took this thing way too serious making it a full-contact sport, but whatever. It was still pretty fun. After the runners/survivors made it past our point, the team would cart us up to the next zone to wait again.



Post-run and nearly dead 4realzors tho. After those army brats and I had at it a few rounds, my face was literally falling off. I brought my running shoes though, so they didn't all get through alive.
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The trick is not minding
Moar Halloween stuffs.

YEEEEEARS ago I bought a clown jumpsuit, a wig, some make-up, shoes, some rainbow suspenders and a uh... white thermal long sleeve undershirt. I spritzed some orange and yellow food coloring onto the pits and neck of the shirt to look like sweat and put my hair into a net. When set, I rolled the top half of the suit into the pants and clamped on the rainbow suspenders to the lower half. That worked very well and revealed the stained undershirt.

That morning, I stopped at (and stumbled through) a gas station (in full costume) to buy a bottle of Gatorade, Boone's Farm (to later pour the gatorade into and drink from while wandering aimlessly about town, dumping the Boone's out, of course), a pack of Newports, and one box of condoms. The register guy didn't know what to do. I told him it was for balloon animals.



That's Gatorade in the paper bag. I'm not a for real drunk clown. I don't smoke either, but I felt having a lipstick-soaked half a bent up cig just barely hanging onto the edge of my bottom lip just sorta made the costume right.

So that was my gig that day. to deal with randoms walking by and me offering to make a balloon animal only to pull out the wrong balloon, and only noticing when I couldn't get it to inflate. Oh. I also had an old bicycle horn in my pocket. To scare people or for fake drunken cat calls. Whichever seemed reasonable in the moment.

I used to get into characters a lil too deeply, I think.

...

Some years later, a few coworkers talked me into a team event zombie run. It was marketed as like a 5k run through some nearby parkland woods where obstacles were set up for the runners. You could register as a runner or as a zombie. The runners were given three partially inflated balloons to pin to their shirts. Those balloons represented organs. The other option was to dress up as a zombie and register to chase the runners. Our goal was to pop their balloons or snag the little ribbons dangling from their bodies. Of course I went as a zombie.





That hat did jack against the sun that day. I'm missing half a beard and one-third of a mustache so the wounds would look real(er). rrrrrrrrACTING!!!!


I pulled my drunkard clown suit from its dusty crypt and splashed some blood onto it. Fake blood, that is. It was near Halloween so supplies were high. I also created some scabby flesh tears in my face with latex and toilet paper to create ripped flaps of skin. That works pretty well and was easy to apply considering that was my first attempt at such and effect. I also picked up some cheap pantyhose, dumped a handful of large marshmallows in one leg, twist-and-tied a link, then a few more marshmallows, repeat, until the leg was full. I THEN dumped a bottle of clear Karo syrup into a bucket with a small bottle of red food coloring and drenched the marshmallow leggings into the mixture to produce a bloody bowel length. Ya know, so that I could gnaw on something sweet while waiting for the runners.



Posing with a coworker and a random kid that was all excited other "adults" were playing dress-up. Those intestines were delish, btw. I made a set for the coworker too, with the other Eggs leg.



The organizers carted small groups of us off to sit and wait in certain choke points along the run. We're near a military base, so there were a few young jackasses that took this thing way too serious making it a full-contact sport, but whatever. It was still pretty fun. After the runners/survivors made it past our point, the team would cart us up to the next zone to wait again.



Post-run and nearly dead 4realzors tho. After those army brats and I had at it a few rounds, my face was literally falling off. I brought my running shoes though, so they didn't all get through alive.
This is both terrifying and hilarious at the same time. 😆
But let’s be honest, that sweat stained undershirt wasn’t made with fake sweat.



You ready? You look ready
@ynwtf: it is the lobby area of the hotel I used to work at

wait till I post Christmas photos
__________________
"This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined." -Baruch Spinoza