Lets Talk Football

Northern Ireland FC (Fulham branch) will scale the heady heights of 15th.


Wayne Rooney will finally get sent off for verbally abusing an official, causing mass debate amongst Surrey Reds.

England will just about scrape qualification for Euro2008 meaning McClown stays in his job.

Michael Owen will get injured, play 10 games for Newcastle then **** off at season's end to anyone willing to take a chance on him.

West Ham propose a new ground - at Pentonville Prison.

Sven resolves to field an entire team of players who are good in Football Manager 07 but no one else has ever heard of. They finish 8th.


Craig Bellamy usurps Robbie Savage as the most odious excuse for a human being playing the game and Robbie hands over his leaving present from Leicester (a teddy bear impaled on a ... female pleasuring device) in the manner of a relay baton.

Steve Coppell cracks a smile, or so we think. It's just wind, folks.

Steve Bruce and Chris Hutchings get sacked. Oops, you said not to mention the obvious...

__________________
"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how the Tatty 100 is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan

Preseason is officially under way I am so excited. In a couple of months the Bears will be Superbowl champs. I can't wait.

__________________
"Aim high, it costs no more to shoot at eagles then it does to shoot at skunks"

Okay then.... The qualification rounds are over.

Sorry about Northern Ireland, Tacitus.... You guys had the biggest hearts in our group. Sweden made it through and my prediction is that we're going to be one of the absolute worst teams in the tournament. I can't believe that a team can play as crappy as us and still make it through...

The european championships is no picnic. Harder to win than the world cup almost and I would be very surprsied if we made it through to the quarter finals. I would actually be surprised if we ened up as third in the group. Our only hope is to get Austria in our group, I guess.

Any thoughts? Any depressed Englishmen out there?

__________________
The novelist does not long to see the lion eat grass. He realizes that one and the same God created the wolf and the lamb, then smiled, "seeing that his work was good".

--------

They had temporarily escaped the factories, the warehouses, the slaughterhouses, the car washes - they'd be back in captivity the next day but now they were out - they were wild with freedom. They weren't thinking about the slavery of poverty. Or the slavery of welfare and food stamps. The rest of us would be all right until the poor learned how to make atom bombs in their basements.

Qualified teams (official European ranking):

Italy (1) (World Champions)
France (2)
Germany (3)
Spain (4)
Holland (5)
Portugal (6)
Czech Republic (7)
Croatia (8)
Romania (10)
Greece (12) (European Champions)
Russia (13)
Poland (14)
Sweden (17)
Turkey (19)
Switzerland (25) (Host)
Austria (41) (Host)

*smug* I think this is about all we'll achieve as far as the Euro is concerned. Our victory on Wednesday was bitter sweet really, on one hand David beat Goliath (who most certainly didn't deserve to qualify), but on the other hand it just won't be the same without England. It was certainly one of the best and most exciting football matches I've watched recently...

It appears everyone is critical of their national squad and skeptical of their abilities in the Euro...

__________________
http://www.last.fm/user/diezelpower/

Except for England of course who think they will win as usual. Even though they didn't even qualify.

Not sure about that mate, everyone I've spoken too hasn't had much confidence in this team...their track record for the past few years hasn't been stellar...:/

Idiot! As a clairvoyant you make a great hatstand.

Wasn't far off with a few others though.

Anyway...

Our qualification dreams went up in smoke after Sanchez left for Fulham (I wonder if the IFA will delay making Worthington's appointment permanent if they think Sanchez will get the sack from Fulham and coming crawling back with his tail between his legs? All the Gok Wan lookalike has managed to do this season is piss £25 million of Al Fayed's money up a wall) and we royally ****ed up away trips to Latvia and Iceland.

All this from a team who'd already beaten Spain and Sweden.

Worthington's a nice guy but a very average and limited coach. I don't think Sanchez was particularly talented but he had the ego/brass balls to convince a group of journeyman players (and the enigma that is David Healy) that they had what it takes to compete against teams with much greater expectations.

If Worthington is appointed permanently I don't see us getting remotely close to this qualifying performance again. not with the current generation of players, anyway - Our squad is so thin that one or two injuries/suspensions from the 1st XI and we're in trouble, as shown in the last match against Spain.

Well done to Sweden, though. You managed to take a point off us!

I'll be supporting you next summer though...

And what of En-ger-land? From the manager through the players to the FA, they should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. With respect to Croatia, this was an easy group and England never looked anywhere near in control of it.

I've not seen a team for years so tactically inept and lacking in heart (Beckham and Crouch aside) as the one that lined up against the Croats. Maybe the singer who mucked up the Croatian national anthem (he sang "my penis is a mountain" in the final verse, apparently, and had the players giggling) helped banish the visitors' nerves but they controlled that match from beginning to end.

Here's a video of interest to anyone who thinks that McClown had a tough run with injuries - Link

It's my favourite sports documentary by a street.

Poor old Graham Taylor. Castigated by the press for not qualifying for USA '94 but when you look at the shambolic collection of players he had to choose from - Carlton Palmer? Andy Sinton? Paul Warhurst? David Friggin' Batty? Star players Gascoigne, Pearce and Shearer almost always injured or half-fit - he did a hell of a lot better than the new ex-boss.



Sanchez and Wan. Separated at birth?

Thanks, we'll need it. Especially our games against Northern Ireland were embarrassing. To me it's clearly a coaching problem mixed with unconfident defenders. If we had the defence line we had in the 90s I would feel much better. Then we would be a force to reckon with.

I've heard that Juventus are interested in Mellberg.

Heck, if we had the defence (and midfield and strikers alongside Healy) that we had in 1982 we'd be good too. Of course, most of them are in their 50s now...

Pat Jennings, Martin O'Neill, Sammy McElroy, Mal Donaghy. Gerry Armstrong (who's autograph I still have after we beat Spain in '82), Billy Hamilton, Norman Whiteside etc. Happy days.

Looks like you're playing Denmark in the WC qualies, Pete!

We've got the Czechs, Poland, Slovakia, Slovenia and San Marino...

England have got Croatia again so I'm trying not to laugh too loudly.

I know everyone hates England in the way that everyone in England hates Man United...but surely having failed to even qualify for Euro 2008 we are crap enough for it not to be worth hating us anymore (the way people don't really hate Leeds anymore...)

I don't hate England (certainly not like I hate Man Ewe, anyway) but I have no time for some of the fans, particularly the national anthem booing, St George's Cross wearing, bullet-headed knuckle draggers that pollute bars up and down the land when a major tournament is on.

The irony with drawing the Croats again is quite delicious though, doncha think?

I wonder how many of the bottlers from Wednesday night will line up against them again next year?

Why?

Ok seriously, he's the strongest piece in the backline. But he's not enjoying having responsibility upon his shoulders like a good solid defender should feel comfortable with. He's no Glenn Hysén or Patrick Andersson.

This time the Danes want our heads.... It will be a couple of great derby games though just like the two we had this year. The one in Denmark in june is probably in my top 3 of the most classical games I've seen the Swedish national team play. You heard about it?

The Czechs and the Slovaks are in the same group? That's one tight group anyway but not impossible. You can beat all those teams.

Besides Denmark we got Portugal, Hungary, Albania and Malta. It's more or less the same situation as we had in the European qualifications except this time it's Portugal instead of Spain. But this time you have to win the group to be sure.

What about this man, Healy. Shouldn't he play in a really good club?

And I see Svennis is doing a pretty good job with Man C. I want him to come back to Sweden and take over our national squad RIGHT NOW!

I love England... I thought it was a shame they didn't qualify, even if it was deserved...

All I can remember about Hysen was that he had more grey hairs than me and that Liverpool sold him just as they entered their 'sh*t' phase. Lucky escape then.


He's an enigma wrapped up in a conundrum, it has to be said.
He's scored more goals in an EC qualifying campaign than anyone else but isn't even first choice for his dreadfully average club (who'll be going down unless Sanchez is able to buy a defence, though as he's wasted enough money this season I bet he'll be sacked before he's given the chance), managed by his old International boss.

I think he's one of those players who needs a team built around him, a luxury that few clubs can afford. If he gets the service and has a big lug of a workhorse playing alongside him (ie: Lafferty), Healy will thrive. Not many teams in England play that way - especially not at the top level.

He's 28 now and looks like he can keep scoring for Norn Iron for 6 or 7 years, a la Larsson, but I think his time as a 'prospect' is fast running out in England. There were a few La Liga clubs sniffing around before he moved to Fulham and I have to say that the Spanish league would probably have served him better.

There are a number of decent Liga A clubs or why not a team like Ajax or Porto or some other big European club in a not so big league. He should get the opportunity to play in Champions League. The thief...

When are you guys going to start talking about football?

*hides*

__________________

Ignoring the Mod's taunting and wishing him a safe journey back to the 'rugby for big girl's blouses' thread...

If Ajax or Porto could be persuaded to relocate to Belfast, I reckon Healy will be a world star. First match of the season I saw him score a typical predator's goal against Arsenal and thought he'd get 15 easily.

As far as I can remember he's only notched one since.

Still, it looks like this seasons Premiership is gonna be a Hell of a lot closer than the last few.