John's Reviews

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After seeing Hidalgo on Sat. I decided I'd write a review on it. Well here you go hasn't been proofread yet but, I feel more confident in my writing skills now. Tell me what you all think. Man, writing reviews is fun. I hope to see The Whole Ten Yards tomorrow. If I do I'll post a review by the end of this week. Also, I hope to see The Punisher on Fri. and if I do I'll be posting a review for it this weekend.
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"This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined." -Baruch Spinoza



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Poster


“Unbridled. Unbroken. Unbeaten."

Movie: Hidalgo

Rating: Rated pg13

Rank:


Director: Joe Johnston

Release Date: 2004

Cast: Viggo Mortensen and J.K. Simmons

This movie is based on the true story of the long distance racer Frank Hopkins (Viggo Mortensen) and his horse, Hidalgo. This movie is funny and energetic but, it could be been better. It has some very good graphics and a good plot but, with out good acting and character evolvement, this movie doesn’t do to good by me.

The movie starts out in a snow covered forest in the 1880s and Hopkins is in a long distance race, which he’s almost finished with. Then it shows his component and him racing to the finish line, which is a town. Once Hopkins arrives he’s given a letter to deliver to Wounded Knee. He then witnesses an awful experience and he later joins a Buffalo Bill circus. After one of his shows an
Start Of Race
Arabian man challenges him to a 3,000 mile race across the Middle East. At first he declines but, his employer, Buffalo Bill Cody (J.K. Simmons), tells him to go and uphold his horse’s great name. After being encouraged by his employer, fellow co-workers, and his horse he decides to go.

If you go to this movie expecting a great flick with lots of action, you’ll be highly disappointed. It’s good, don’t get me wrong, but I expected a lot more out of this film then I got. It’s got action, humor, and some visual effects but, the acting isn’t that great. It starts out slow but, it eventually picks up. Near the end it starts to drag out, making it seem much longer then it actually is and Hopkins never really had any character evolvement.

One of the worst elements of the movie is the acting. It’s alright but, it should be better. There’s only one actor that I believe to have done well and that was Simmons. He doesn’t have a very big or great part, but he does portray it nicely. Mortensen is a good actor but, in this role, he doesn’t do too well. In my opinion the horse acted better than Viggo. Viggo just doesn’t have the ability, in my opinion, to play as a good old fashion cowboy. He could at least give a better effort or give the character a little more humor. Besides the acting, everything else in this movie is good.

I personally think this movie is best seen at home, on DVD, and not in the theatre but, if you like true stories, you might want to check this out. If you and your family have a free weekend you might want to go and see this, seeing as this is a great family flick.

I personally think that this movie got a little too much hype then it needed. I may be wrong but, when I saw the trailer I expected this movie to be a little more action packed. It has action, just not enough to keep you hooked. When you get close to the end of this movie it drags on and you start wondering if it’s going to ever end. It has a beautiful ending and some good music, I just disliked the acting everything else is good. I personally think you should what till this movie comes out on DVD but, if you have a empty weekend you want to fill then I recommend you check this out.



Good job! I can tell your level of effort has, at the very least, tripled. Keep writing, you're getting better -n- better!
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"Today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."



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It's improving because this is fun to do. I'm on spring break and I have nonething to do so here I am. I'm going to see The Whole Ten Yards today or The Ladykillers. I expect to put a review up for one of them soon. Maybe today or tomorrow if I'm lucky.



Mother! Oh, God! Mother! Blood!
Originally Posted by John McClane
I'm going to see The Whole Ten Yards today or The Ladykillers.
The Ladykillers is rated R. Will you be going with an adult?
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NEW (as of 1/24/05): Quick Reviews #10



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I went to The Whole Ten Yards today with my mom, she promised me a couple of trips to the movies this spring break.

Originally Posted by Mark
The Ladykillers is rated R. Will you be going with an adult?
Yes I would be. Can't even get there with out an adult. Man I can't wait till I'm 17. I'll be able to drive and go to rated R movies by myself.



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Poster


“They missed each other. This time, their aim is better.”

Movie: The Whole Ten Yards

Rating: Rated pg13

Rank:


Director: Howard Deutch

Release Date: 2004

Cast: Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet, Kevin Pollak, and Natasha Henstridge

The gang’s back in this hilarious sequel to, The Whole Nine Yards. In the opening scene it displays Jimmy Tudeski (Bruce Willis), who’s a hitman, at his worse. He’s been in hiding for two years and the results of this are that he’s gone just a little nuts. Instead of killing and breaking the law he’s; cooking, cleaning, and just acting like Martha Stewart. This new Jimmy is upsetting his wife Jill, also a hitman, who just wants to shoot someone.

Then the movie switches over to Nicholas Oseransky (Matthew Perry), who’s now even more paranoid than before. When his wife, Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), is kidnapped by Lazlo (Kevin Pollak), he goes to Jimmy for help but, he’s surprised when he’s unwelcome at Jimmy’s new home in Mexico. In the first 15 minutes you’re already laughing at how funny Bruce Willis’s character turns out to be.

The Gang
This movie keeps you laughing from the beginning to end which, in my opinion, is hard to do now a days. It has a very weird plot, which has a couple of twists by the way, and a great cast that acts well. Bruce’s role in this movie is a little eccentric but, it’s hilarious and I personally think this is one of his better roles in a comedy.

You then have Matthew Perry who’s the best actor to portray his role of, guy who’s fearful of everything and anything. His character is paranoid beyond all belief and Matthew just seems like the type of guy that would be paranoid. I haven’t seen many movies with Matthew in them but, this one is by far my favorite. Both of the actors above portray their roles very well and get two thumbs up from me.

Kevin Pollak is at his funniest playing as Lazlo, who’s a crime lord just released from prison, I would have to say he’s the actor that played his role perfectly. Everything he says will crack you up a little bit too almost dieing from laughter. For example, instead of saying “F***” he says “Fouke”. Some of the crazy things he does can only be seen not described, seeing as they’re hilarious. Not only is his character funny, he’s mad at Jimmy and wants revenge and through out the whole movie Lazlo tries to get Jimmy with is comical plans.

Paranoid
This movie gets two thumbs up by me but, that’s probably because my mouth was hurting from laughter, I’m a sucker for comedies. I loved it from beginning to end but, it did have the flaw of having too much laughter. I know what you are thinking, “Too much laughter”, but the reason I say this there’s actually a little bit of seriousness to the end of this movie but, they keep throwing funny stuff at you not allowing you actually feel for the character.

I recommend this movie to people who love comedies and have seen The Whole Nine Yards. The reason I say you should see that movie first is because you can get more out of the movie, comedy wise, then if you don’t. Since I know what’s going on, I have a lot more laughs then people who haven’t seen the prequel. If you stop by the rental store, pick up The Whole Nine Yards and watch it before you see the sequel. It will make you experience the movie much better.



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Originally Posted by LordSlaytan
God I hated that piece of claptrap.
I'm not mad about your opinion, everyone has one, I would just like to know "What does that mean? I mean, what did you not like about it?"

O by the way, is it with a passion? Lol.



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Thanks for the comments guys. I'm going back to school in a couple of days so, I won't be writing as many reviews. I hope to get one out every week.



WOW, I saw The Punisher late Thursday night, and I couldn't disagree more! It's a horrible excuse for a movie, even just a dumb action movie. It's just plain bad. And what's worse than that: it's painfully dull. I give it a generous grade of D+.

But hey, diff'rent Strokes, Mr. Drummond! I guess it's true what they say: one man's horrible waste of time is another boy's masterpiece.
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"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra



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Originally Posted by Holden Pike
WOW, I saw The Punisher late Thursday night, and I couldn't disagree more! It's a horrible excuse for a movie, even just a dumb action movie. It's just plain bad. And what's worse than that: it's painfully dull. I give it a generous grade of D+.

But hey, diff'rent Strokes, Mr. Drummond! I guess it's true what they say: one man's horrible waste of time is another boy's masterpiece.
Yup, I guess so. The next thing you know you'll say something I don't like and I'll be able to return the favor. Lol.

Ummm....Why didn't you like it? Just want to know you're real reasons



Never conform, never compromise....
Thanks for the review man, I have waiting to see this movie for months now, and i am glad someone likes it. I understand that alot of critics have been attacking this movie, but from what I have seen in the previews, and my love of the character (one of Marvel's best IMO), and the fact that Travolta is such a good bad guy, and Jane looks like he pulls the part off well...sufice(sp?) to say, that I can't wait to see this movie. I was worried after reading some bad rviews, but after yours, my faith is restored, thank you
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In the end...
Everything we do,
Is just everything we've done!
- Corey Taylor (2002)



The Whole Ten Yards - I hated it because the first one was a forgettable film and there was absolutely no point in making an even more unfunny sequel. Stupid premise, dumb acting, and boring as hell.

The Punisher - Boring, dull, too little action, rediculous oversights, overkill, lack of character depth, depresssing, and slow as hell.

Like 'em all you want to, I'm not attacking you, Johnny Boy, your reviews are fantastimondo! Yet, your tastes and mine are polar opposites.



Originally Posted by John McClane
Ummm....Why didn't you like it? Just want to know [your] real reasons.
I gave my real reasons above. But I'll be happy to elaborate.

First of all, it doesn't do ***** to follow the character from the comic books, other than the very basics of his origin. But OK, that wouldn't be completely unforgiveable if they wrote an interesting script around the shell of that character, or barring something interesting at least had some fun with it. They didn't do either. It isn't interesting in the least bit, ploddingly along to every single cliche in the '80s-action movie book, with gunfights and car chases that seem like they were choreographed in a frippin' "T.J. Hooker" episode. The unfortunately requisite corny Schwarzenegger-type one-liners were unbelieveably flat or forced. I hoped that maybe with an R-rating, they would have some fun with stylized graphic violence. But alas, while there are a couple clever 'kills' in the movie, you may well be dozing when they finally appear, and that's hardly anything to pin your cinematic hopes on. The so-called comic relief forced into the flick by the fat fella who lost "Last Comic Standing" and the kid with all the piercings was hack stuff on loan from a fifth-rate sitcom on The WB. Only slightly less forced was the supposed new romance in his life with Rebecca Rominj-soon-not-to-be-Stamos, which was pointless and, like just about everything else in this excuse for a flick, poorly developed (if developed at all). Travolta does his same 'bad guy' thing from those godawful John Woo movies and such, inducing more yawns than anything at this point. Thomas Jane is fine in the lead, but he has absolutely zip to do for two hours. But maybe worst of all, despite a loud soundtrack and music video-style editing, The Punisher is dull, dull, dull. Bottom line: hack script, hack direction, cheesy acting, and absolutely nothing new to offer even in a forgiving turn-your-brain-off mode. At all.

But other than that, I really liked it!

As I said, a generous grade of D+. I wouldn't even recommend it as a rental, much less at movie theater ticket prices (not even a matinee). Maybe in a year or so, when it's on HBO at 2:00am or on Cinemax, maybe have the TV on then while you're focused on something else. Maybe.



Nice reviews, John. I'd like to know how you set it up, with the pictures beside the text... eh, nevermind. It all goes together perfectly, I look forward to seeing more.



Well done John…. welcome to the club...
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AiSv Nv wa do hi ya do...
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Well done, your writing has vastly improved over the last few weeks, and although I don't agree with everything you write, I do appreciate your reviews.
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