Meet Joe Black -- Anthony Hopkins is Anthony Hopkins. Brad Pitt is terrible. The man is made of wood.

Braham Stoker's Dracula - Gary Oldman is Gary Oldman. Keanu Reeves is amazingly awful. The least English Englishman in history.

Usually the pattern is that of pairing up an anchor, an established but ageing star with a little pup, a wobbly cute thing which has not grown into "chops" (and which it might not ever do, but look at those paws!).

Other times, I suppose, someone has a special relationship with a producer, or a disastrous casting decision is made which, for whatever reason, cannot be unmade.

There is a weird sort of surreality to their scenes. One half the scene seems real and the other half seems to have an imposter in it. It's like tragedy and comedy slammed together when competence is paired with incompetence.