The year 2022 in film - Ranked.

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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds


2022 was the year I really went back to the movies. Seeing films in the theatre, even if I had to alone at 10pm during the week.

I've decided to rank every film I've seen this year, the good, the bad and the Morbius.

Yes, there are still movies I need to see to really make it official, but there is no time like the present. So here we go.
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Suspect's Reviews



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
68. Morbius




Dr. Michael Morbius suffers from a blood illness that cripples him and shortens his life span. He is incredibly smart though and dedicates his entire life to finding a cure. That cure involves vampire bat DNA and when he injects this highly illegal/unethical testing drug into his system, he creates a monster. Can he supress his blood rage violence? Can he stop his friend who stole the drug and loves being a villain? Can we as an audience muster enough courage to give a damn?

I did not expect to be so disinterested in this film as much as I was. We all heard about how bad it was, but I thought I would at the very least get some kind of comedic laughs out of the terribleness, but no. The film is bland beyond belief. So many bad creative decisions right up to the equally confusing and inane after credits sequence. Teasing people for future films do not work when we don't care.

From hilariously bad slow-mo to inane character decision and a laughable attempt at chemistry between every single person, Morbius is a failed attempt at blending horror with the superhero genre. I sat there in complete confusion as to why Morbius calls his best friend by a different name the entire movie, why our antagonist out of the blue loves being a killing machine, how Tyrese can run up a building and cut off Morbius who practically flew up there. Throw into this confusing mix some bad CGI fight sequences that are poorly edited and you have a potent mix for the worst film of the year.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
67. Christmas Bloody Christmas




On Christmas Eve, our lead character wants to get drunk, party and have sex. Sounds like a good time, but when a robotic Santa Clause goes haywire; blood spills, limbs fly and bodies pile up. Now she is in a fight for her life and we cheer on the killing machine.

The only reason this film is not at the very bottom of the list is because there is a shred of care and dedication to the craft. Written, directed and produced by Joe Begos, I have to give credit where credit is due, he knew what he wanted and he gave it his all. Even filmed it on film, back to the indie horror roots which are inspiring this movie. It's just a shame that what he wanted was a poor Rob Zombie rip-off.

The film is bathed in neon lights, which give it a unique look, but becomes distractingly annoying after the first 20 minutes. The blood and guts are almost all practical, which gives it a bonus point for the indie spirit of "we're all in this together".

The Terminator-esque Santa was pretty good too, but my God could I not get passed the characters and their dialogue. Literally, all I could imagine in this film was every foul mouthed Rob Zombie character cranked to 11. I did not care one ounce for anyone in this movie and found myself nodding off several times, which is bad for a film that is under 90 minutes. There is a shred of talent here, but there needs to be more cooks in the kitchen for me to watch another Joe Begos movie again.



68 is pretty awesome. I try to hit 50 during the course of a year, I watched 55 2022 movies during the year.

I havenít seen your first two entries, but I will chime in with my worthless opinion when stuff I have seen pops up.
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I watched 120 films released in 2022 last year. Christmas Bloody Christmas was the worst of them. I agree with you about the characters and the dialogue. Morbious was mediocre, but still watchable. If I had to rank it, Morbious would be somewhere between 80-100.



I watched 120 films released in 2022 last year. Christmas Bloody Christmas was the worst of them. I agree with you about the characters and the dialogue. Morbious was mediocre, but still watchable. If I had to rank it, Morbious would be somewhere between 80-100.
Youíre hitting like professional critic numbers.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
I watched 120 films released in 2022 last year. Christmas Bloody Christmas was the worst of them. I agree with you about the characters and the dialogue. Morbious was mediocre, but still watchable. If I had to rank it, Morbious would be somewhere between 80-100.

How many were Hallmark Christmas movies?? Hahaha



Welcome to the human race...
Not the TUS list I was looking forward to the most, but I'll take it.

Morbius was somehow not my least favourite film of 2022. Maybe it still should be, but at the same time it such a low-expectation/low-effort work in just about every respect that it almost doesn't feel worth hating as opposed to more obnoxious "better" films. Even by the current standards of sequel-teasing stinger scenes, this one manages to dig its way under an already subterranean bar.

Haven't seen Christmas Bloody Christmas - had a chance last year, I guess, but didn't feel like it (and that feeling seems to be right). I did kind of like Begos' VFW as an uncomplicated siege thriller, though.
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Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
66. Texas Chainsaw Massacre




A sequel to the original iconic film, 50 some-odd years later sees a group of influencers "purchase" a small town in Texas to auction off business places???? I'm still not entirely sure. Anyways, they ruffle some feathers and Leatherface takes out the ol' chainsaw to slice and dice. He retrieves his chainsaw from a wall inside his house, its been sitting there for DECADES!!!! Yet, it starts without a hitch and that rusty ol' chainsaw slices like a fresh new lightsaber.

We are introduced to a group of unlikable young people. One is given the backstory of surviving a school shooting, so she knows trauma, right? I don't know if it is laughable or insulting to think that this is what they believe gives people "character". No one else stands out in this crowd. This film was dumped on Netflix and it is obvious why.

The film has one good shot and two good kills. The rest of the film is a CGI bloodfest that looks fake, feels fake and is unintentionally funny. They bring back the character that survived the original film, Sally. She is played by a different actress as the original actress died before the production of this film. What they end up doing to this character is a crime and she takes the award for dumbest character this year!!!

The final shot of the film is an homage in some way to the original, but they use the auto-drive feature of a Tesla, which made me laugh out so loud that it woke my wife. Instead of a cracked mind of the lone survivor in the back of a pick-up truck laughing manically as it speeds off down the road...we have a Tesla slowly driving away while one character looks back out the sunroof, dumbfounded as Leatherface swings his chainsaw around like a maniac. It's too comical to be taken seriously.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
65. Deepwater




Man, this is a film that I just didn't 'get'. Affleck and Ana de Armas are in a loveless marriage. Instead of getting a divorce, he lets her sleep around with whomever she likes. Jealously is too much for him and he starts killing off her lovers.

Why let it happen, why stay with each other, why stay with him if you know he is killing, why snails? The film desperately wants to be an erotic thriller from the 90's, but it fails to be even the slightest bit sexy or have a hint of thrills. The acting feels wooden from everyone and I couldn't help but laugh at the "chase" towards the end of the film. It might be one of the funniest scenes of the year.

This comes as no surprise that it is yet another Netflix dump, everything about the film feels pointless.



I like Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas so Deep Water was mediocre for me. Also it's a bit messed up in a subdued way, which is fine by me. But I get the notion of pointlessness too.



How many were Hallmark Christmas movies?? Hahaha
None. Those were all feature films. I also watched 60 made for tv movies from 2022 last year in addition.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
64. No Exit




A woman gets word that her mother is very sick and might not live to see another day. She ventures out in a snowstorm to see her, but the road is closed due to the weather, and she is forced to seek shelter at a nearby rest stop. While there she discovers a young girl tied up in the back of a van. Now she must unravel the mystery of which one of these people that are trapped with her is the kidnapper.

Interesting premise, that they seem to abandon almost immediately. What would have made this film a lot more engaging is the mystery of who the kidnapper is, but that is revealed rather quickly. We are then treated to a cat-and-mouse game that doesn't feel thrilling by any means.

No Exit wants to surprise us with a few twists in the story, but the film is the one trying to play catch-up to the audience who is already several steps ahead. Bland characters, flat direction, and a weak screenplay make this film a chore to sit through.



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
63. Cheaper by the Dozen




In this remake we see the Baker family move into a bigger house, take care of a troubled nephew and try to make their school life and work life work under intense pressure.

I imagine the scriptwriter was told to watch the Cheaper by the Dozen movies before being asked to write the new remake. Then he accidentally watched Yours, Mine, and Ours. This is a weird remake that has a predictability to it that is a tad frustrating. Braff and Union have some excellent chemistry and make this not a total disaster.

Side Note: you can see the actors' marks taped on the floor in one scene, I had a good chuckle.



Hey, I'll be reading!

66. Texas Chainsaw Massacre


A sequel to the original iconic film, 50 some-odd years later sees a group of influencers "purchase" a small town in Texas to auction off business places???? I'm still not entirely sure. Anyways, they ruffle some feathers and Leatherface takes out the ol' chainsaw to slice and dice. He retrieves his chainsaw from a wall inside his house, its been sitting there for DECADES!!!! Yet, it starts without a hitch and that rusty ol' chainsaw slices like a fresh new lightsaber.

We are introduced to a group of unlikable young people. One is given the backstory of surviving a school shooting, so she knows trauma, right? I don't know if it is laughable or insulting to think that this is what they believe gives people "character". No one else stands out in this crowd. This film was dumped on Netflix and it is obvious why.

The film has one good shot and two good kills. The rest of the film is a CGI bloodfest that looks fake, feels fake and is unintentionally funny. They bring back the character that survived the original film, Sally. She is played by a different actress as the original actress died before the production of this film. What they end up doing to this character is a crime and she takes the award for dumbest character this year!!!

The final shot of the film is an homage in some way to the original, but they use the auto-drive feature of a Tesla, which made me laugh out so loud that it woke my wife. Instead of a cracked mind of the lone survivor in the back of a pick-up truck laughing manically as it speeds off down the road...we have a Tesla slowly driving away while one character looks back out the sunroof, dumbfounded as Leatherface swings his chainsaw around like a maniac. It's too comical to be taken seriously.
Not to defend the film too much, cause I pretty much agree with you... BUT, Leatherface does pull the cord on the chainsaw 4 or 5 times without it starting, and has to tinker with it a bit before he can successfully turn it on. Not that it changes much about the film's quality, but still
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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Hey, I'll be reading!



Not to defend the film too much, cause I pretty much agree with you... BUT, Leatherface does pull the cord on the chainsaw 4 or 5 times without it starting, and has to tinker with it a bit before he can successfully turn it on. Not that it changes much about the film's quality, but still
Let's get a scene where he puts some oil in there eh?!?!?!



Let's get a scene where he puts some oil in there eh?!?!?!
Reading the manual... "Thank you for buying Craftsman's brand new chainsaw, the X1500!"



28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
62. Death on the Nile




Poirot. Boat. Murder.

The biggest issue with this film and maybe it's the story in general, but it is so predictable. I have never read the story or seen the original movie, but everything about this film's outcome was telegraphed from the start. Nothing came as a surprise here, which is a shame when you sit down to watch a murder mystery.

Another mystery film where the audience is waiting for the reveal to finally happen just so they can see how much they got right, this takes away from whatever story it's trying to tell in the meantime. We just don't care about these characters.

Some shoddy CGI background makes the film really stand out (in a bad way) and will be dated rather quickly. This is 2022, why does it look so cheap?

Also, did we really need a prologue to explain a man's mustache?? My God.



Welcome to the human race...
You hound me for that list ALMOST as much as my wife does a third kid.
Sometimes you just have to commit to a bit. Just be glad I don't try to do my own version of this thread just to stunt on you*.





*I might do it anyway