N-Jay: Reviewing the Star Wars films

Let’s start off by talking about my connection with the Star Wars franchise, by emphasizing the fact that I don’t have one. When I was a kid, I found something to enjoy from the Star Wars series, for sure, but as the years progressed, I lost interest. This viewing of the Prequel Trilogy for this video was actually the first time I’d even seen Attack of the Clones or Revenge of the Sith. After watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi recently, however, I decided I wanted to go ahead and give them a revisit, if nothing else, then, because I wanted to be able to honestly say I went to them with an open-mind.

In Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, the setting is 32 years prior to the events of Star Wars: A New Hope, and follows Jedi Knight’s Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi in their efforts to protect Queen Amidala. This is all because they want to assure a peaceful end to this large-scale interplanetary trade dispute, but, along in their journey, just like that fantastic Weird Al song suggests, maybe, Vader someday later, they come across a young Anakin Skywalker, a young slave that has unusual capabilities with the Force, and all of it comes together to set the groundworks for the return of the Sith. As one might expect, this film did remarkably well at the box-office, generating over a billion-dollars in-profit for those involved, which is even more impressive when you consider that’s without adjusting for inflation and that it had a budget of about half what, let’s say, The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi had. It’s clear that anticipation was high for The Phantom Menace, but, it is also clear that those expectations weren’t met. The film received mixed-to-negative reviews, and, in my opinion, is the biggest reason that the Prequel Trilogy receives the bad-wrap it does. But, is the film really that bad, or is it just Star Wars fans with jaded cynicism? Honestly, no, it isn’t that bad, it’s much, … much worse. Let me preface this by echoing what I had said earlier about how I hadn’t seen Attack of the Clones or Revenge of the Sith, this is because every time I made an effort to marathon the series, I’d sit-through this film and I’d have to resist the urge to sew together a Jar Jar Binks voodoo doll and resist the urge to spend my nights punching it over and over again. … why aren’t you better? …

As I prefaced at the beginning, I don’t have any deep-rooted affection for the Star Wars franchise, but I do the best I can at approaching every film with an open-mind. Unfortunately, I can’t honestly say there is a whole lot I liked about this film. In an effort of survival, I went to Twitter and shared my thoughts every now and again as I watched the film. I did this also as a point of reference, in case it was a little while before I was able to get around to doing this review. In short, I liked two parts of this film, in total. I enjoyed Liam Neeson’s performance as Quin-Gon Jinn and I enjoyed the pod-racers with young Anakin. That’s it, that’s all. And, if we’re being honest, I didn’t enjoy Quin-Gon that much, and the pod-races themselves came off as messier than they did fun, and ultimately, were built like the science-fiction equivalent of, “Oh, we need $250 fast. What a coincidence! A dance competition! What luck!” and obviously, I know it wasn’t as on the nose as that, but the sequences of events themselves felt awful shoehorned.

First and foremost, Jar Jar Binks is awful. Although, perhaps, in some respects, revolutionary, acting as a prelude in the motion capturing animation that brought us Gollum from The Lord of the Rings and, eventually, Caesar from Planet of the Apes, it doesn’t change the fact the animation was hideous and was far more off-putting than what should be overlooked. The voice-acting and dialogue for the character is dreadful, and it isn’t simply that his voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard, but, rather, the comedic timing and delivery lacks, and he muscles up a cringeworthy cheese that challenges the Star Wars Christmas Special for Christ’s sake. And, so, yeah, he’s bad, but, you know, Obi-Wan Kenobi is bad too, and I say this as someone who enjoys Ewan McGregor, although, entirely for Trainspotting, but this character is dull and tedious all the way through. And it doesn’t help matters that the Quin-Gon Jinn character plays it so straight and has no one to balance it out.

The young Anakin Skywalker is bad, as well. At first, I felt wrong about saying this, because I felt bad about saying a little kid did bad in a film role, but it’s the truth, and the director should have brought more out of him and should have written him better material. At some sequences in this film, it comes off like a children’s film, with juvenile solutions to situations and go-lucky theatrics, making this film feel more like a hokey, cartoonish, and stupid film you’d roll your eyes at while watching the Syfy channel than it does an installment in a multibillion-dollar franchise.

The story-line itself on-paper isn’t necessarily bad. Obviously, The Phantom Menace doesn’t have the high-stakes of the original Star Wars series. The film is about peace agreements and a young slave who we’re well aware will end-up becoming Darth Vader, and, although those aspects don’t necessarily come off as exciting, with solid characters and well-written dialogue, as well as inspired action-sequences, the concept of The Phantom Menace could have been achieved. Unfortunately, Darth Maul’s memorable and distinctive look doesn’t pave the way for a memorable or distinctive antagonist. The action-scenes featured in this film are slow and don’t come off as though a lot of time has went into them. The situation unfolds and folds back up in a whimper, and it’s with that ho-hum tedium my enthuse for a Star Wars marathon dissipates, and I have to use the proverbial force to continue fourth.

RATING: Horrible

Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones is an epic space opera directed by George Lucas, at the time, the second Star Wars film directed by him, the third, of course, being Revenge of the Sith, and the second film in the Star Wars Prequel series. This film is set ten years after the events in The Phantom Menace, and the galaxy is on the verge of an all-out war. Led by a former Jedi named Count Dooku, thousands of planetary systems are hell-bent on separating themselves from the Galactic Republic. In the midst of this, Padme Amidala evades assassination by the skin of her teeth, and is given protection by, now, a much older Anakin Skywalker. His mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi also investigates said attempt on Padme’s life. All of this sets the ground-work for a new threat to the galaxy. The reception from audience-members and critics to Attack of the Clones is, perhaps, a little better than what it was for The Phantom Menace, although, I wouldn’t dub it appropriate cause for celebration, if only because how neck-and-neck they are. In-terms of box-office returns, Attack of the Clones was still a box-office success worth celebrating, but it showed the shine was starting to come off Star Wars after Phantom Menace. The film made over 350 million less than Phantom Menace worldwide and finished fourth worldwide in its year of release.

I will go ahead and end the suspense by saying, I think that Attack of the Clones is better than The Phantom Menace, a film that I absolutely despised. From the get-go, something noticeable is the way that the Obi-Wan Kenobi character improves in-comparison to The Phantom Menace, and I’ll be honest, I had to do some honest consideration on if it was simply because he has a beard now. I think I would say that, on some level, the character comes together better because he has an actual contrast in Anakin that he did not have with Qui-Gon Jinn, in the last film, both the characters were stoic and tedious, whereas, in this film, Obi-Wan feels like the voice of reason amidst Anakin’s emotional instability, and simply put, it’s a much better dynamic altogether.

Early in the film, I didn’t really understand the dislike the older Anakin received from everyone, and it was then I saw some of the temper-tantrums done with the character. In some respects, Anakin came off like a Romeo type character, in that he is very sentimental and has a very simple, almost dimwitted teenage angst and instability.

Of course, although, I have that interpretation of the Anakin character, I can most definitely comprehend full-heartedly why so many dislike the character the way they do. The character and the dialogue he’s fed come off unnatural and, once more, as I described with characters in the Phantom Menace, as cringe-worthy in their utter badness. Not only that, but the way the storyline unfolds is far too convenient and workman-like, as though there is no nuance or heart, it feels so inorganic and forced. The dialogue for Padme Amidala is every bit as bad as Anakin’s, and although part of me wants to be upset about how the way her character has been reduced to a one-dimensional love-interest, the other part of me certainly never cared about her in The Phantom Menace, more of me is upset that so many capable actors and actresses throw their talent at these Star Wars films and what’s amount from it is so little. I think I’d go ahead and say the action-scenes are an improvement from the first film, but I would still say they lack. I think what it comes down to is I find the scenes themselves a little undercooked and lacking pizzazz, imagine if we had choreography like in the John Wick films and someone more equipped to spruce up and bring together the narrative, that’s what I want. I’ll go ahead and say the action scenes are fun, but nowhere near greatness’ door.

That said, Attack of the Clones had some scenes I liked. For instance, the way that Anakin snaps at one point in the film, showing the first big example of how unhinged he is with his emotions. The chase scene early on with Anakin and Obi-Wan I also enjoyed, and I think, for the most part, I like the settings for this film a lot more than I liked the sandy Tatooine in The Phantom Menace. The visual aspects are solid, I thought Phantom Menace left a lot to be desired in that department, but Attack of the Clones does a lot better. Simply put, Attack of the Clones operates at higher-capacity to The Phantom Menace in practically all departments.

So, all in all, as I don’t really have much to say, Episode II has it’s fair-share of fumbles as far as storytelling is concerned, its dialogue, and the delivery of said dialogue, but the action-scenes and scenery improve, and the film itself has a couple of moments worthy of being highlighted. I wouldn’t call it a “Great” film, and I wouldn’t even necessarily call it a “Good” film, but I would say it’s a “Decent” film, and I would rank it far above Menace.

RATING: Decent

The Revenge of the Sith is set three years after the Clone Wars have wreaked their havoc. The Jedi Knights are spread out all over the galaxy, at the helms of a massive war with the Separatists. The Jedi Council sends Obi-Wan Kenobi to eliminate General Grievous. On the other-end, however, arguably the more interesting development is between Anakin Skywalker and Chancellor Palpatine, who, unbeknownst to the public at-large, is a Sith Lord. This film, of course, sets the stage for Star Wars: A New Hope and concludes the Prequel Trilogy. This film did considerably better at the box-office than Attack of the Clones, which is to be expected, middle-films oftentimes find themselves as the under-performer, an easy parallel would be to mention Empire Strikes Back and likely what will happen with The Last Jedi when Episode 9 is released. The film didn’t, however, manage to garner the same attention as The Phantom Menace, which I think holds the same pattern I mentioned before. The film received generally positive marks from critics and audiences alike, oftentimes regarded as the best of the Prequel trilogy, with a vocal minority even referring to it as the best of the Star Wars saga altogether.

Revenge of the Sith has the most going for it as far as narrative is concerned amongst the Prequel Trilogy. Whereas with the rest of Star Wars films, you can, perhaps, enjoy the ride with each film, in purely story terms, from the get-go, my primary intrigue in these three films was to see how little slave boy Anakin became Darth Vader, and that’s what this film presents, the only real genuinely intriguing aspect is, at last, allowed its pay-off.

The characters come together in a considerable fashion. I find myself hit-and-miss with Anakin’s character in this film, with myself leaning toward saying I enjoyed him, even at times if the delivery can come off more than a little melodramatic. The film also suffers from a feeling of self-importance that was never necessarily instilled in myself from a viewer standpoint. I would consider the criticisms I suggested of the Anakin and Princess character still visible in this film, but I would say that Anakin is allowed more opportunities for success than failure. I liked his developing mean-streak, and with the way I chose to look at him from the very beginning, as an emotionally fragile, angsty person who can’t control his emotions, I think I allowed myself a stance that made him more redeemable in his worst moments in-terms of arguable inconsistency.

Altogether, the biggest way Revenge of the Sith succeeds more than Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones is it comes together with a less workman-like structure and with a stronger altogether antagonist. In a Rogue One like scenario, one can argue this film is predicable, simply because you know where it inevitably leads. But, at the same time, I think there is something to be said for the fact that I want to see it. Where Phantom Menace squandered Darth Maul and Christopher Lee’s character wasn’t even memorable enough to warrant me looking up his name, Palpatine is more up to the task. The film is a little hokey with its religious undertones, Anakin being a false prophet and Palpatine acting as the proverbial snake in the grass, and all of it can feel heavy-handed, and once more, suggests a self-importance it doesn’t necessarily earn for itself, but I still enjoyed myself. Palpatine doesn’t come across like a manipulative mastermind, but, at the very least, it can be said that Anakin comes off very susceptible to persuasion. Overall, I would say that The Revenge of the Sith has a competent narrative if I look at the sum of things. Regardless of fields of where George Lucas lacks, like dialogue or subtlety, for instance, which is still clearly abundant in this film.

I also enjoyed the action-scenes of this film, I enjoyed the visuals and I enjoyed the final scenes with Anakin and Obi-Wan, and even if the scenes are predictable, I enjoyed the ride, regardless.

I don’t want to beat a dead horse and ramble, and, because of that, I think I will go ahead and summarize my thoughts instead of doing so. The Revenge of the Sith does lack in some very basic fields, and does still maintain some of the nagging problems that Episode 1 and 2 suffered from, but, thankfully, it benefits from being the pay-off of those films. The storyline has heavier stakes and has more bite to it, the action-scenes, although, still lacking a certain upper-tier quality, are more dramatic and, although, not as important-feeling as they might have been intended to be, they do feel more significant than any scenes in the previous films. I would say the acting delivers more than it misses, all in all, and, although, our knowledge of the inevitably dampens the pay-off, it’s still satisfying and mostly well-done all the same, true to the world. Warts and all, I would say that The Revenge of the Sith was a above-average movie, definitely the best of the prequels, and a satisfying one.

RATING: Above-Average