Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

*Dr. Evil voice * Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

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Forgetting something there, TheDOMINATOR.

Remember this?

Start up the "Lazer" Beam.

And the "tractor beam" in addition to the "time machine."

That's seriously one of the funniest trilogies ever. (Soon to be quadrilogy?)

Lol. Nice one.

Forgot about those.

And yes, TheDOMINATOR, they are making a 4th Austin Powers film. Scott is going to be evil in it. That's what I'm looking forward to seeing.

That's gonna be sweet. I haven't looked into it much, but I'm guessing somewhere around a 2010 release, or late 2009 at the earliest, eh?

I've been watching a lot of movies back to back - most of them weren't that good , so I'm not writing full reviews for all of them. This is a wrap-up of what I saw.



Peter Jackson's follow up to Lord of the Rings is a big disappointment. It looks really good (aside from the constant use of the frame slowing technique , that looks terrible all 50 times it's used). The story is devoid of any emotion aside from Kong himself.





After watching Sunshine I had to give this one another chance as well. Unlike Sunshine however , I couldn't even watch it past the 40 minute mark it was so bad.





I had not seen this for a long while and it does have some really cool imagery and clay animation - but it's lack of a plot whatsoever drives me to boredom.





Some of the best acting I've seen in awhile , but it only worked for the first hour - then it just dragged on and on : unwisely wading back and forth from comedy to drama.



I actually saw this one first , but I need to see it again to get out of this bad movie spree.

A Threevening with Kevin Smith (1 view)



I am not a fan of Kevin Smith the director , but I am a fan of Kevin Smith the story teller. His past Q&A sessions on Evening with Kevin Smith 1 and 2 have been filled with his hilarious happenings with actors , producers , and directors. In this third DVD he talks about his experience working on Die Hard 4 and Clerks 2 which had me in tears the whole time.

I'm not going to spoil the stories for you , I'll just say rush to see this if you need a laugh.

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Keep it up, meat, even if I basically disagree with everything you said (except that 28 Days Later is the least of the first four; I haven't seen the Kevin Smith flick).

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Rip into a few movies meatface

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Yeah, reviews of bad movies are always more interesting than of good ones.

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speaking of Kevin Smith the director ...

Clerks 2 (2 views)



Far down the road from Smith's amazing debut , Clerks 2 is everything his movies have become - an over exaggerated mess of a movie with poor production values all around. It might be a decent idea for a sequel , but this large departure from the original is so terrible - I can't recommend it to anyone.

Packed to the top with cheesy music scenes that are mostly a filler for the meaningful dialogue which made the first movie , it's relentless in being as cartoony and wild as possible. Randall seems to be the only character with his continuity intact , while Smith literally ruins Silent Bob himself ! In this screwball future Smith has crafted - his characters always talk about stuff that happened in the last movie (which was 11 years back in the film). There are a few laughs along the line - some of which is actually borrowed from stories that Smith tells in his Evening with Kevin Smith DVD series (which you should see instead). Unfortunately , there are a lot of laughs at the downright infantile dialogue - like Dante's super controlling fiancé "if we let them decide anything , nothing would ever get done !".

Smith doesn't return to the more realistic approach of Clerks and the more exaggerated Chasing Amy , instead just continues his cheesy trend of Dogma , Mallrats , and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. If the title wasn't slapped on , you might think it was a fan-made parody.

Interesting review, Meat. Even though I actually like Clerks II (or at least, don't consider it anywhere close to ), I will pay this review for providing a rather reasonable critique of it. I give it quite a bit of leeway mainly for the brilliant interplay between Randal and Elias throughout the film (not to mention the climatic jail sequence, which I actually reckon is one of the best scenes Smith has ever written).

I will agree with you, the musical number was a rather ridiculous thing to throw in, but it's a far sight better than the entirety of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I should also check out the Evening with... series by the sounds of it.

Great review. I agree completely.

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The first Evening is the better of the two that I have seen. Will rent the third one.

And ouch on all the movies you posted, you seem to love hating good movies Meat.

Also, 28 Days Later, it's the first half that's the good half.

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Equilibrium (1 viewing)



Following in the footsteps of The Matrix , Equilibrium tries to mix it's sci-fi and social commentary with super cool shootouts. Although Christian Bale would seem a good choice for the role , he doesn't have a lot of room to really do anything than shoot bad guys.

In this futuristic world , people have suffered horribly from the third World War. Now a controlling government force has taken over the majority of humanity and forces them to take a drug which suppresses their emotions. By doing this , their city is rid of murdering and crime. Christian Bale plays this super killer guy , who's been trained all of his life to shoot people - when he decides he doesn't want to take his medicine anymore , it turns into a good old slow-motion shooting frenzy.

The story isn't terribly written , I mean it kept my attention through the whole thing - but it's not something I would go back to. So many good opportunities to make it more interesting are wasted. Visually this matches up with the script , there's a lot of just normal shots and I think this movie really fails to capture the look of the futuristic city. Then again , you get these really awesome looking action scenes which are the highlight of the whole movie.

Fun enough to watch , but lacks any depth in it's story.

you seriously thought equilibrium lacked depth? its only real flaw was that it took a theme already done and did it over again. and very well, I might add.

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I thought Bale did a great job. Nothing to do but shoot bad guys? Re-watch the scenes when he is first off the drug, then tell me that again.

I loved those scenes. I thought Bale nailed some great subtle acting there. I also loved the scenes in which Bean/Bale discussed Yeats etc.

I like this flick quite a bit. I thought the end was kind of whack, though. Whimmer said he was forced to trash his original ending, due to budget problems.

Whimmer needs to show me he wasn't a one trick pony. I love Equilibrium, but hate Ultraviolet.