Space Jam: A New Legacy

My gut was right when I first heard about this movie. I thought it was gonna suck, and wham bam, I was right. I set a low bar for this, but apparently, it wasn't low enough. The debate of who is better, Jordan or Lebron, will always be a thing but make no mistake about it. Jordan owns Lebron's ass when it comes to Space Jam movies. So what happens when you mix a complete Lebron **** sucking fest and a 2 hour Warner Bros commercial (this movie is far, far, far too long)? You get a multicolored car crash that you wish killed you, but instead, it just left you somewhat brain dead. **** does this movie suck.

Here are all the reasons this movie is utter trash

Lebron James: Even if you like Lebron, there is no way you can defend him in this movie. He is exceptionally unlikable here. Whether it's just how much of a dick head dad he is in the beginning, his awful acting, or constantly being called King, you really want to punch him in the face. **** him, stick to basketball bro. I'll assume he wanted his ego stroked throughout the movie (he seems to be that type of person to want that), and boy, did the movie constantly make sure to do that. It made sure to point out how successful he is (mother****ers we know, it's well covered how good he is). It also points out his social media influence and other bull****. Basically, this movie wants us to bow down to Lebron, something ESPN has been doing since he was in High school. This was a 2-hour ego-fest to James, and it's something you get sick of about 1 minute into the film. Oh, so now Lebron saves all the world from being trapped in the server-world. Really shooting for that superhero angle. Go **** yourself

Warner Bros: Well, they made sure to plug all of their various franchises here. In some cases, it was them wiping their dicks out and slapping it across your face that there was plenty of better movies to watch than this multicolored porta-potty pile of ****. For the most part, their various plugs of all these franchises weren't funny. Except for Harry Potter and The Matrix, they at least got a smile out of me, which is a big deal because nothing else out of the movie was able to do that. You could try and spot the tiny cameos in the background during the game, but that would involve paying attention to this movie, which I strongly advise against.

Goon-squad vs. Monstars: In no way, shape or form could the Goon-squad even hold the sweaty shorts of the Monsters. Monsters were better characters and far more enjoyable than the dull Goon-squad. You got some major basketball talent, big ****ing deal. None of them had any real personality. Monsters certainly did. Goon-squad can **** off. Dame Time as Chronos was incredibly stupid and unnecessary That'sThat's about 5 minutes of my life I can never get back.

Rapid-fire with the issues now

• The scoring made no sense at all. The Tune squad score 1000 points in the 3rd. Then neither team scored any points in the 4th until the end of the game
  
• You know you ****ed up when you waste guest spots by Steven Yeung, Sarah Silverman, and Lil Rel Howery. The guest spots in the first movie are what made it so good.
  
• Charles Barkley would have been better than Lil Rel Howery. Chuck was wise to avoid being in this ADHD-inducing cluster****.
  
• Porky rapping is something I never wanted to experience, and I hope to never experience it again
  
• Nike had to get their plugin as well
  
• Not a funny or fun movie to watch
  
• The new Bugs Bunny vice was not good
  
• The animation was better in cartoon form than in the 3D form
  
• 2 hours is far too long. 1 hour and 45 minutes is the limit
  
• Knew the step-back fade away was gonna be the move to win the game

The very few good things

Don Cheadle: He was good as the villain. He at least tried to turn chicken **** into chicken salad. He got pretty generic and meh towards the end, but he was good at the movie's beginning.

• Decent dig at Lebron for always leaving teams
  
• Daffy Duck was okay and the best of the toon squad
  
• There was a solid reference to Chapelle's Show Prince skit with ""game blouses""

I advise everyone to avoid this unfunny and complete dud of a movie. There is no real redeeming quality to this commercial/dick-sucking fest disguised as a movie. **** Lebron James and **** Warner Bros for even releasing this garbage. 2.5/10

checkout tjkellyrants.com for more reviews

Haven't seen it but I enjoyed reading your review and wallowing in the caustic distaste you have for this major motion picture.

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its so horrible movie, i prefer original space jam better

I won't even watch the first one. Mostly because of my intense hatred of Jordon. All us Detroiters abhor #23.

Well it was one of Jim Carrey's worst. :P

What a review OP. Couldnt have put it better really.

@Yoda can they say this

Eh, doesn't sound that different from the original presenting Jordan as the only real hope for the Tunes's freedom even though Chuck Jones said the premise was broken from the jump because Bugs' whole deal is that he wouldn't need anyone's help to get one over on his enemies.

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Can we get a 12 year old to weigh in? Can’t put much faith in anyone older than a precocious tween.

Everything I heard was the Loony Tunes still got it. If you like them, this is worth the price of admission getting Aunt Tuddie’s HBOMax login.

I couldn't even watch 1/5 of that too long movie. I prefer to invest in other hobbies.
Boring plot, not funny gags (at least as many as I've seen).

Like many movies of today there is no thought process needed. This is not the type of film that an adult can really sit down and analyse unlike a film noir or Hitchcock. The “upgraded” character look brings the effects into the now but story wise, don’t even bother. All this film uses are enough brightly lit graphics, loud pumping music and an abundance of familiar characters to make kids want to drain £30 from their parents wallets. In summary, adults will feel cheated, and children will thinks it’s the best thing brought to screen. This is just a kids movie and you have to take it for what it is. A complete no brainer.

30 pounds for a movie?

2 adults+1child ticket+ must have bucket of popcorn to keep child happy = yes £30. I feel sorry for large families.

That's more like it.

I had my problems with this movie as well...here's a link to my review:


https://www.movieforums.com/reviews/...ace-jam-2.html