Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

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Thanks Meatface My nephews boys (5 and 7 ) wanted me to take them to see it but I declined until I could ask their parents

they said they would put their hands over their eyes in the scary bits :laugh;
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2009 Ratings (last updated January 8th, 2010)

* "none" indicates I've yet to see it , but plan to *

March

Watchmen

Tokyo!

Anvil ! The Story of Anvil !

Revanche

Achilles and the Tortoise

Gomorra

You the Living


April

Adventureland

Tyson

In The Loop

Three Monkeys

Sugar


May

Star Trek

The Girlfriend Experience

Drag Me to Hell

Up

Tokyo Sonata

Departures


June

Moon

Tetro

The Hurt Locker

The Baader Meinhof Complex

Dřd snř

The Hangover


July

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Funny People

Public Enemies

Bruno

Thirst

500 Days of Summer


Augest

Ponyo on a Cliff by the Sea

Inglourious Basterds

District 9

Big Fan


September

9

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Mesrine : Public Enemey No. 1


October

Zombieland

Where the Wild Things Are

A Serious Man

Bronson

Paranormal Activity


November

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Black Dynamite

Ink

Bad Lieutenant : Port of Call New Orleans

Mary and Max

The Road

Precious

Fantastic Mr. Fox

The Messenger


December

Up in the Air

The Lovely Bones

The Princess and the Frog

Avatar

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

A Single Man

Crazy Heart

The White Ribbon

Sherlock Holmes
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Funny People (1 viewing)



Apatow has quickly become a crowd/critic favorite with his sharply written scripts that tackle very common but complex ground , the likes most studio comedies would never dare. His third film should cement his status and his desire to understand the human mind.

Does using old footage of the actual actors , casting your actual wife and kids , while assigning roles based on actual life experience make a movie more personal and autobiographical - well by the end of Funny People , my answer would be "Duh".

There's so much in terms of depth and content in this movie , you can't help but feel you're getting the full package , the real deal. Sandler gives another dramatic performance and parodies his own career while doing so. Rogen who's now a star , is demoted back to rookie comedian and his relationship with his two comedy biz friends is often hazarded by competition.

"There's nothing funny about a physically fit man"

So who's the funniest guy in the movie ? I give my vote to Jonah Hill who almost hogs the best one liners in the movie or perhaps the resident German doctor. Funny People is never afraid to pay homage to previous films in the director's cannon , where in his others Everyone Loves Raymond is referenced in some matter - Ray Ramono actually makes a cameo (1 of 76 cameos).

The film is a drama about relationships at the core and for one that covers so much ground and concentrates on so many different characters , it pulls this impossibly grand scheme off and dissects comedy itself along the way.




District 9 (1 view)



Neill Blomkamp's directorial debut probably isn't as significant as lead Sharlto Copley's , but District 9 proves to be a surprising blend of the run of the mill action movie with a very unique documentary extra-terrestrial approach.

The first act sets up the history of humans and their contact and containment of the alien mothership and the sick , stranded inhabitants. Although the focus of the movie will alternate between the well being of all the aliens and our main character Wikus Merwe , who both undergo a multitude of major changes throughout.

What really works are the amazing visual effects and gritty atmosphere , even though the antagonists are your stereotypical bad guys - the movie almost sells them with it's violent grip. The movie is in top form , when the action gets rolling - Copley yells his way through his goretastic showdowns and makes for one of the most root-able action-hero types I've seen.

Though my main gripe with the film is the soundtrack. It feels like it was ripped from Hotel Rwanda , very unfitting and obnoxious. A lot of the movie rests on the music and District 9 really fails to deliver here , feeling manipulative and cheap when you hear the moaning synonymous with any movie plotted in Africa/Middle East.




Inglourious Basterds (1 view)



Tarantino's long awaited war epic is finally here and despite a few script cuts , he actually got this very exciting/cinematic script to the screen how it should be.

The fact of the matter is Basterds is in simplicity , only a handful of very large scenes - it's very dialogue driven and exactly what you've come to expect from this now great director/writer. The two main attraction performances "Brad Pitt and Christoph Waltz" deserve their attention grabbing important reputation fueled characters , but it's all the other roles ranging from sub-important to minor which continue to feed the fire at the heart of this one. Melanie Laurent puts a lot of life into the surprise star Shoshana , as does her German counterpart Daniel Bruhl.

Is it wrong that it feels like the summary of his filmography mixed and matched together ? Not really , because he takes the best parts of his past movies and melts them into a really satisfying product - interesting dialogue , colorful characters , and a wonderful licensed soundtrack : you may ask what new does it offer than ? Dread and tip toe suspense , you know that at any second the pace could snap and someones going to end up all shot up.

Visually it's the best looking film out of his bunch , beautiful clear cinematography and all of the brutal action scenes raise the bar even higher. It's really more important than you'd think , because Inglourious Basterds is mostly a very gentle movie and it absorbs these tiny visual details with each breath - and occasionally gets blood all over the nice scenery.

It's enormous and impossible to judge on a first viewing , but I have a feeling I'll be watching this one many more times.




Where the Wild Things Are (1st view)



A very expanded adaptation of the children's novel, that goes far beyond the text and pictures, into the mind of Max and his monsters. It envelopes you with discovery of it's main character through the voice of his creations and attaches you to him with sights and sounds.

Once he leaves his home behind, you've come to understand Max at a glance. He enters a mysterious land inhabited by giant monsters, who coincidentally speak english and act human. You'll spot a lot of coincidences in the monsters and Max's family and himself, Carol (Gandolfini) for example is a naive childish version of Max who can't always get what he wants.

Max becomes a leader to the wild things and for a time they have fun. Running around, building a fort, meeting friends, though slowly it starts to crumble down. The problems the monsters face are that of reality, it's impossible for them to face it, they are fragments of Max that don't belong or need to adapt. They're unhappy and can't be fixed. Max leaves his failing imaginary world and runs back to his mom, having experienced a much more realistic and meaningful adventure than ever was in the book.

Even if the relationship of and between the monsters becomes downbeat, the visuals, sound editing, and acting are quite the opposite. The camera is very thoughtful and each shot as obviously been made an entire plan of. It's full of A-list actors (most who appear only in voice), and newcomer Max Records gives one of the best child performances I've ever seen. Gandolfini plays opposite Max, in one of his own best performances. Vast locations with beautiful scenery, costumed/CGI monsters that push animation to it's limits, crunching trees and brush, the technical qualities are a marvel.

Maybe not a movie to see with your kids, but one you should definitely see.




The Men Who Stare at Goats (1 view)



Ewan McGregor rewrites his jedi past in this dull-witted military farce. The tale ports it's two leads from situation to situation (none of which are special to begin with) while telling the back-story of the United States dabbling in psychic warfare.

Goats is an abhorrent waste of talent. Spacey, Clooney, and Bridges are a comedy dream team and the writing here has only a few jokes to offer. McGergor's stiff narration is the first off thing you'll notice, the rest comes toppling down into a drowsy finale.

It never builds momentum, it can't even take off.




A system of cells interlinked
Good work, Meatster..
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The Lovely Bones (1 view)



The Lovely Bones is a surreal thriller with strong performances, but when you make a movie from the perspective of heaven, you take on heavy responsibility of being all-knowing or close to. Bones deals with forgiveness, suspicion, but actually arrives at the conclusion that they're both useful.

From a technical point, it's a masterpiece of lighting, special effects, editing, sound design. Wahlberg gives an amazing performance as does semi-newcomer Saoirse Ronan (who plays Susie). Stanley Tucci brings a strong humane presence to his remorseless killer, Susan Sarandon is unforgettable as the fun drinking grandma. Even for all of these good things going for it, the story is ultimately too short and unfocused. It ends as if the whole while it has been about parallel obsessions, but it's always shifting around, not knowing what it wants to be.

It also recounts all of it's positive messages with negative ones. Eventually you need to forgive, actually never mind don't do that. Suspicion is good, wait it's bad, never mind it's good.

The Lovely Bones is a children's Zodiac, although even if the latter is more violent, it has better values than Bones. Which is practically a promotion of vengeance.




Still have a handful of 2009 films I've still got to see, but here's some stuff to look forward to this year

Shutter Island (Scorsese)

First heard about this in 2008 and somehow it got pushed all the way up Feb 2010 - despite trailers/marketing for the movie saying it would come out late 2009. What does this mean ? Not sure, still looking forward to Scorsese's now long awaited pic.

Cop Out (Kevin Smith)

Despite the god awful trailer, I'm seeing this one solely as a follow up to Smith's story about him and Bruce Willis' chicken. It's also going to be interesting to see Smith direct a script that isn't his own.

Alice in Wonderland (Tim Burton)

I really wouldn't call Burton a well established director, but he made a giant leap with Sweeney Todd and I'm very curious to see how he follows it up.

Kick Ass (Matthew Vaughn)

Trailer and clips are all very awesome so far, anything where Nick Cage shoots his (invincible) daughter in the chest for kicks gets a ticket purchase from me.

Babies (Thomas Balmes)

Just a documentary with babies ... who knows ?

Iron Man 2 (Jon Favreau)

Comic-con footage was awesome, trailer is awesome, Rourke steps in for Bridges, Cheadle replaces Howard, Paltrow looks even hotter, and Sherlock Holmes takes the center again. Rightfully one of the most anticipated of 2010.

Toy Story 3 (Lee Unkrich with Pixar)

Hard to tell if this will be a Ratatouille or a Incredibles, regardless one of my most anticipated of 2010.

Inception (Nolan)

The few snippets of info and trailers look incredible. For me a deal breaker if Nolan is indeed a great writer/director. I hope he can bring his original script to the heights of the Batman films.


Projects without definitive release dates

Takeshi Kitano's Outrage (hopefull 2010)
Edgar Wright's Scott Pilgrim vs The World (early 2010)
Edgar Wright's World's End (hopefull 2010)
PTA's The Master (hopefull 2010)



there's a frog in my snake oil
I really wouldn't call Burton a well established director...
What would you call him? A meat popsicle?
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there's a frog in my snake oil
You'll have someone's eye out with innuendo like that.

But seriously, in what sense can you possibly call him 'not well established'? On the infamous 'meaty kudos' calender of predilections perhaps? Does he need to firm up the 'establishing shot' that is his last two decades plus in the industry? Is it because he hasn't started his own masonic troupe and influenced the politics of Peru yet? Whatever can you mean?



I'm guessing meatwad means that he's not established as producing reliably good films, something I'd mostly agree with. But using the more common definition of "established," meaning simply that he's a constant fixture in the industry, has a following, etc., he qualifies with room to spare.



there's a frog in my snake oil
Yeah, kinda figured. Just wanted meaty to explain in one of his inimitable implosions of erudition and instinct



A system of cells interlinked
I like a few of his films, but, for the most part, I consider him more of an Art Director sitting in the wrong office. When he tries to inject sentiment into his films, something I am thinking he shouldn't do, it usually comes across as forced and contrived. Big Fish is the exception, where I think he was able to tell a sentimental story pretty well, due in no small part to Albert Finney.

Alas, a lot of his stuff annoys me these days, so I tend to skip his stuff.



The Road (1 view)



The Road is full of mistrust and everything that's alive is slowly dying, it tries to capture a period of time and also tell the story of a father and his son. If the film is indeed faithful to the book, then the source material is simply not cinematic or good at all.

There's nothing wrong with the picture it paints, it's how it paints. The vast majority of the movie is watching people talk about being hungry, eating food, and exploring a very limited amount of dully colored landscapes. The budget obviously fits in a hat, which really is a detractor in a should-be visual experience.

The story suffers from pure simplicity, I could tell the whole thing in one sentence. It's not a complex character study, it's a barely realized apocalypse. Even for all these negatives, The Road still scores points with me because other films similar to it are much worse.